Houston, You're A Cheap Date

Houston may just be the most romantic city in the world — the spectacular sunsets caused by refinery pollution, the thrilling moments dodging hurricanes, the long hours spent chatting on the cell while stuck on 59 — Paris ain’t got nothing on us.

Now it turns out that we’re a cheap date, too.

Match.com — in the pure interests of furthering science, and not for the tawdry attempt to get publicity — did a highly technical study to determine which were the cheapest cities in the country to have a date.

The criteria, established no doubt after hours of academic wrangling: “a casual dinner and two movie tickets.”

Houston, you’ll be proud to know, came in ninth. Dallas-Fort Worth, 20th.

The cheapest city, Pittsburgh, cost $77.80; the most expensive, LA, cost $126.06.

The top 10 list is full of incredibly trenchant analysis of each city, such as “Pittsburgh — Dating is a steal in the Steel City,” “Indianapolis – The Indy 500 isn’t the only thing that gets hearts racing in Indianapolis” and “Detroit — A night at the drive-in in the Motor City won’t break the bank.”

So where do you think they went with their Houston capsule? “There will still be a lot of space left in your wallet after a night out in Space City”? “Living large in the nation’s fattest city isn’t a big deal”? “Prices in Houston are not Astro-nomical”?

None of the above. You know damn well where they went.

“Houston — Everything is big in this Texas city, except the cost of
dating.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.