It takes a...special kind of person to confront a captive animal, kill it, and make off with its head. Brandon Gregory is such a person, and while we may wonder at his motives, we can at least take some comfort in the fact that the recently deceased Mr. Buck didn't go out like no punk bitch:
During a confession, Gregory told authorities he jumped the fence that night. When he was about 15 feet from Mr. Buck, the deer lowered his head and charged toward him, Longoria said.
The deer then knocked Gregory to the ground, pinning the man in the upper leg with his antlers, Longoria said. Gregory allegedly pulled Mr. Buck towards his body with his left hand and used his other hand to fatally stab the deer with a knife, Longoria said.
Gregory presented Mr. Buck with a rare opportunity, as few deer ever get the chance to retaliate against hunters armed with high-powered rifles and safely ensconced in a tree stand. In his honor, here are some more examples of scrappy even-toed ungulates:
5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
How menacing a particular animal is apparently has no bearing on what shape your patronus charm takes. If it did, Harry's probably wouldn't be a stag but rather some unholy hybrid of Suge Knight and a great white shark.
4. "Homer's Phobia"--The Simpsons (1997)
Remember when Homer made a Gregory-esque attempt to sneak into a reindeer pen so Bart could shoot one? And then the reindeer attacked them? Yeah, YouTube didn't have that particular clip. I'm therefore forced to go with the "gay steel mill" scene from the same episode.
3. Bambi Meets Godzilla (1969)
I realize the way this is shot makes it look like Godzilla emerged with the upper hand, but it's rumored the upcoming director's cut shows Bambi returning with Dr. Serizawa (played by Matthew Broderick), and together they use the doctor's new "oxygen destroyer" to devastating effect, killing Godzilla and Thumper and turning Flower insane.
2. "Raging Rudolph"--Mad TV (1995)
Like most people, my reaction to hearing Fox's Mad TV was going to be canceled after 14 seasons was, "Mad TV was on the air for 14 seasons?" What's perhaps more depressing is the fact that their "reimagining" of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from the show's debut season was the high point of the entire series.
1. Tommy Boy (1995)
Once you get past the scene's initial premise: that two guys would trundle a (seemingly) dead deer into their car instead of -- at most -- shoving the thing over to the side of the road, everything else falls perfectly into place.
-- Pete Vonder Haar
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