It takes a…special kind of person to confront a captive animal, kill
it, and make off with its head. Brandon Gregory is such a person, and
while we may wonder at his motives, we can at least take some comfort in
the fact that the recently deceased Mr. Buck didn’t go out like no punk bitch:
During a confession, Gregory told authorities he jumped
the fence that night. When he was about 15 feet from Mr. Buck, the deer
lowered his head and charged toward him, Longoria said.The deer then knocked Gregory to the ground, pinning the man in the
upper leg with his antlers, Longoria said. Gregory allegedly pulled Mr.
Buck towards his body with his left hand and used his other hand to
fatally stab the deer with a knife, Longoria said.
Gregory presented Mr. Buck with a rare opportunity, as few deer ever get
the chance to retaliate against hunters armed with high-powered rifles
and safely ensconced in a tree stand. In his honor, here are some more
examples of scrappy even-toed ungulates:
5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
How menacing a particular animal is apparently has no bearing on what
shape your patronus charm takes. If it did, Harry’s probably wouldn’t be
a stag but rather some unholy hybrid of Suge Knight and a great white
shark.
4. “Homer’s Phobia”–The Simpsons (1997)
Remember when Homer made a Gregory-esque attempt to sneak into a
reindeer pen so Bart could shoot one? And then the reindeer attacked
them? Yeah, YouTube didn’t have that particular clip. I’m therefore
forced to go with the “gay steel mill” scene from the same episode.
3. Bambi Meets Godzilla (1969)
I realize the way this is shot makes it look like Godzilla emerged with
the upper hand, but it’s rumored the upcoming director’s cut shows
Bambi returning with Dr. Serizawa (played by Matthew Broderick), and
together they use the doctor’s new “oxygen destroyer” to devastating
effect, killing Godzilla and Thumper and turning Flower insane.
2. “Raging Rudolph”–Mad TV (1995)
Like most people, my reaction to hearing Fox’s Mad TV was going
to be canceled after 14 seasons was, “Mad TV was on the air for
14 seasons?” What’s perhaps more depressing is the fact that their
“reimagining” of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from the show’s
debut season was the high point of the entire series.
1. Tommy Boy (1995)
Once you get past the scene’s initial premise: that two guys would
trundle a (seemingly) dead deer into their car instead of — at most —
shoving the thing over to the side of the road, everything else falls
perfectly into place.
— Pete Vonder Haar
This article appears in Dec 11-17, 2008.