Hair Balls has been fascinated with this prostitution-list story – so much so that we had to check out the archived pages from some of the websites that police say were run by the “Heidi Fleiss of Houston.”

There, we’ve been introduced to some of the “friends,” including Kate, who enjoys “pinot noir, intelligent conversation, and dark chocolate.” (Kate is also part of a “Spindletop Special,” which is a twofer special; her partner was Ashley). And according to Vivian’s blog, Kate recently completed her college exams – way to go, girl!
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Or, for those as-yet-unnamed clients who were into more exotic fare, there was also Monisha, whose name means “‘Lord Krishna,’ย  but please call her Mona. Mona is 100% Indian: her family immigrated to America from Bombay just before she was born. Mona is slightly submissive, very playful, she loves to laugh, and is committed to satisfying her clients. Mona is 5’4″; 105lbs, 34C, has no tattoos and does not drink. She has big, enchanting brown eyes, soft skin, and a slim, flexible figure. Available Monday through Friday only; Advance booking is recommended and very much appreciated.”

Plus, the Turbivilles allegedly knew how to take care of their
clientele. One of the sites that police say the couple operated offered
these assurances:

Membership means that if you are ever taken into custody due to a
work related incident, you will have access to our 24 hour live
operated “Peace of Mind Hotline”. Our hotline is the only contact that
you will ever have to make, no friends or family ever need to know your
situation.

Your bail bond will be processed and paid for, and your legal representation will be completely paid for as well.

Your privacy and protection are our primary responsibilities.

VFPS membership ensures that in the aftermath of an unfortunate legal event, your privacy can remain secure.

Remember: Imported bottled beer, soft drinks, and bottled water are
always complementary. But we also offer a very nice Pinot Noir or
Chardonnay for $20 or Asti Champagne for $25. If you order in advance,
we will put your bottle in the chiller for you and serve it at the
ideal temperature.

And, as should be expected of a high-end business, they offered “fresh
towels,” per this June 2007 blog entry by “Vivian”: “Our a/c is set on
70 degrees, we have cold, cold bottles of water and showers with fresh,
fluffy towels. You will be very comfortable here – beat the heat at
Vivian’s!”

Also, “Vivian” was always looking for new recruits, and here’s what you had to know about joining this exciting venture:

So you are interested in becoming a well paid and highly desirable
Associate of Vivian’s Friends, Great! But what does that mean, and are
you really the right woman for the job? If you are already in the
profession, you understand the importance of a well organized,
experienced, female operated agency that treats people the right way,
but what if you are considering this lucrative work for the first time?

First of all, it’s about having fun, lots of fun! Our ultimate goal is
for you to enjoy yourself, we want you to shine with confidence and
femininity, and this can only be achieved with a supernova of self
worth.

At Vivian’s Friends we believe that any woman can be beautiful and desirable. Every applicant will be considered.

We are, however, looking for certain personal qualities. To become a
successful associate one must be naturally charismatic; you must have a
very confident, convivial, and warm personality.

So take a good look at yourself, are you the type of lady that stands out from the crowd, or do you fade into the background?

All you need to do now is submit your information below or give me a
call; you will never be put under any pressure, we’ll just talk about
it. There is no such thing as a dumb question, so don’t be afraid to
ask: we will give you all of the information you want, and then let you
think about it as long as you need to.

I’d love to hear from you!

What could go wrong?

Contributor Craig Malisow covers crooks, quacks, animal abusers, elected officials, and other assorted people for the Houston Press.