Three more weeks. Three more weeks of the agony that is known as the NFL season for me. I once again had a losing week, once again going 7-9, for a season record of 87-119. I’ve got no excuses. I just suck.
So, let’s get on with the suck.
1. The Texans are favored by 1 point over the Broncos. You know, I don’t hear the nation bitching about this game being on the NFL Network. I think most people are thankful they don’t have to watch. Both teams are 6-7. I could go on with the mentor/mentored story of Mike Shanahan and Gary Kubiak. I could go on about underperforming franchises. I will mention that on NBC’s pregame show last Sunday, Tiki Barber and Jerome Bettis were raving about what an obvious pick Mario Williams was as the number one choice in 2006. And I’m calling them on the bull. They’re so full of it that I need a shovel. As for this game, take the Broncos.
2. The Bengals are 8.5 point favorites over the Niners. Both of these teams are falling apart and have failed to perform up to expectations. And while he is now out for the season, Niner QB Alex Smith is claiming that his coach, Mike Nolan, has turned the team against him. Things are going good here. Take the Bengals.
3. The Ravens are favored by 3.5 points over the Dolphins. I’m calling for the upset special here. Take the Dolphins.
4. The Browns are 5.5 point favorites over the Bills. I like what the Browns are doing this season. And the Bills have been flipping back and forth between QBs. But the Browns defense isn’t much to speak of, so while I think the Browns will win, I think the Bills will keep it to about a field goal.
5. The Cowboys are 10.5 point favorites over the Eagles. I hate the Cowboys. I hate that Bum’s kid is the coach of the team. But I’m taking the Cowboys to win this and to win it big.
6. The Packers are favored by 10 points over the Rams. For some reason, even though they still don’t know who’s starting at QB, I’m picking the Rams to get within the point spread.
7. The Colts are 10.5 point favorites over the Raiders. I’m going to be in the Bay Area this weekend. But I’m not getting anywhere near this disaster in the making. Take the Colts.
8. The Patriots are favored by 23.5 points over the Jets. Now the Patriots are claiming that the Jets cheated last year, and that the Patriots are the actual victims. I don’t care. I’m tired of the whole Patriot thing. Take the Jets to get within 17 points.
9. The Saints are favored by 3.5 points over the Cardinals. One week the Saints look like Super Bowl contenders, the next they lose to the Texans. Same thing with the Cards. You never know what you’re going to get from these two teams. The Saints were good Monday night. The Cards will bad on Sunday. So I’m taking the Cards.
10. The Giants are 4.5 point favorites over the Redskins. I couldn’t care less about this game. Neither of these teams is interesting to watch. But I’ve got to make the pick, so I’m taking the Giants.
11. The Steelers are 3.5 point favorites over the Jaguars. I shouldn’t be believing in the Jags. It’s always wrong to believe in the Jags because when you do, they rip your heart out. But the Jaguars have two running backs who can pound the ball, and I think the Steelers are down from the loss to the Patriots. So take the Jaguars.
12. The Chargers are favored by 10 points over the Lions. The Lions have gone from 6-2 to 6-7. They had the Cowboys beat last week, but gave the game away. I think the Chargers win this game, but since Norv Turner is coaching, the Lions will make it close. So take the Lions to get within a touchdown.
13. The Seahawks are 7.5 point favorites over the Panthers. Who cares? Take the Seahawks.
14. The Bucs are 11.5 point favorites over the Falcons. Did you see the Bucs lose to the Texans last week? There’s no way they should ever be favored to win a game. Again. But the Falcons are team chaos. What with the coach quitting after Monday’s night game and bugging out for Arkansas. Take the Bucs.
15. The Titans are favored by 4 points over the Chiefs. Did Titan coach Jeff Fisher order a Code Red against the Chargers last week? The Chargers say yes. What’s this got to do with this week’s game? Nothing. I just thought it was interesting. Take the Titans.
16. The Vikings are 10 point favorites over the Bears. The Bears are on their third quarterback this season. That’s right, Kyle Orton is back in charge. But it won’t help. Take the Vikings. — John Royal
This article appears in Dec 13-19, 2007.
