Lewis Black Hates Dallas, Loves Houston (When the A/C Works)

Lewis Black drops back into Houston Saturday. You might not know this about Black, but he got his start right here in Houston. Black was premiering his play The Czar of Rock and Roll at the Alley Theatre when he left and headed over to the now defunct Spellbinders.

This Saturday he’ll be at the Hobby Center, which was good news to him. He wasn’t too thrilled when we mistakenly told him he was playing the Verizon Wireless Theater.

Lewis Black: No, I’m not at Verizon, am I? It can’t be. I’m not at Verizon; I’ll kill myself.

Houston Press: That bad, huh?

LB: Oh yeah, that’s why I don’t want to go back there. Verizon is a horrible place.

HP: It is?

LB: They don’t seem to have air conditioning. It’s like an airport. Why don’t you put planes in there? I mean, I’m thrilled that they allowed me to perform but I literally said, “Get me out of here – I won’t come back to Houston.”

HP: (Laughs) Really?

LB: I mean I like playing Houston. But that is not, it may work for musicians, but for comics I don’t know how they do it there. It was always “Well, we have trouble with the air conditioning.” Really, air conditioning? It’s Houston. I had to apologize to the audience. It was like 300 degrees.

HP: But you’re still a fan of Houston?

LB: Oh yeah, I love it. I mean, especially when I was working, all the time, even before The Laff Stop – at Spellbinders. I like the town a lot. It’s just — I don’t know how you survive your summers.

HP: With working air conditioners, usually.

LB: (Laughs.) Yeah.

HP: But most people don’t have such nice things to say about Houston.

LB: I know, people bitch about it. I go, “Really? Have you been to Dallas, asshole?” I’m serious. That’s the one I bash on. I like Fort Worth. It’s like Fort Worth and then there’s like this carbuncle that grew on Fort Worth.

HP: (Laughs) Wow.

LB: It is! I mean, seriously I don’t know what Dallas is about. It’s got no center. And Houston may not have a center but at least it’s trying. Dallas doesn’t even seem to give a shit. I mean, you guys are how many suburbs can you put on the head of pin, but they’re – I don’t get what they’re up to at all. Really, I don’t know what is with me and Dallas, but it’s never worked. But I have a fondness for Fort Worth and I love San Antonio and I’m big on Austin. I’ll even take Lubbock in a pinch.

Black performs Saturday, July 28 as part of his Let Them Eat Cake Tour (which doesn’t stop in Dallas) at 8 p.m. Hobby Center, 800 Bagby. For information, call 713-629-3700 or visit www.thehobbycenter.org. $45 to $65.

— Dusti Rhodes