For all I know, by the time this blog hits the computer screens, it will have been announced that Jennifer Lopez is, in fact, pregnant. And if she is, I know we as Americans will all take a moment and thank the good Lord above that we as a nation will continue on in greatness, secure in the knowledge that Jenny from the Block and Marc Anthony have created life.
Seriously…from Suri to Shiloh to Halle Berry and Nicole Richie’s yet-to-be-named offspring, we’re a country obsessed with celebrity baby bumps. The tabs love to announce “bump alerts” complete with arrows pointing to the barely visible lump on a celeb lady’s stomach. (I have a baby bump, too. Mr. Pop Rocks and I are naming it Pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked.) We obsess before we think they’re preggers, while they’re preggers, and then the moment the baby is out and about, we watch to make sure that the tummy goes back to being good and flat like it should be. Sick, right?
The sad thing is, I’m obsessed, too. This site is one of my favorites. I don’t know why. Is it because we’re intrigued by the idea of a perfect celebrity lady gaining even the slightest bit of weight? Is it because even a celebrity’s maternity clothes are more stylish than the crap we just bought at Ross Dress for Less? Is it because of some primal need we have to make sure that we as a species will continue to survive (and make average romantic comedies and overrated sweeping epics)? I have no idea, but whatever the reason, the bump watch shows no signs of stopping.
Anyway, someone make sure to let me know if Jennifer Lopez is knocked up, `kay? – Jennifer Mathieu
This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2007.