Gentle reader, for almost two years now, I’ve been serving up hot dishes of pop culture snark and doing my best to keep you informed on the fascinating happenings occurring on the pop culture radar.
It’s been an absolutely fabulous time, and I’m grateful to the Press for giving me this forum.
But I must let you know that this will be my final post.
In a way, I’m all snarked out — there’s only so many times a gal can write about empty-headed starlets and deliciously bad reality television before she starts to feel dirty on the inside. Plus, I’ve got some other writing projects I want to focus on, and scribbling about the catfights on The View takes more time and energy than you might think.
But I do want to say thank you for taking the time to read and comment. And I do want you to know that even though I may not post here anymore, I will never be far from you.
Yes, whenever there’s a fake breast exploding on Rock of Love: The Bus...I’ll be there.
Whenever our Britney shows off her vagina/C-section scar combo…I’ll be there.
Whenever people read silly pop culture blogs and take the writing too
seriously and post angry, frustrated rants in the comments section
(therefore revealing their utter lack of sense of humor)…I’ll be
there.
Whenever a male politician gets a BJ in the back of a Lincoln
Town Car and then delivers a bizarre press conference with his numbed-out, Stepford Wife standing next to him…I’ll be there.
Whenever local
Houston newscasters blatantly pimp themselves out for ratings…I’ll be
there.
Whenever George Clooney screws another cocktail waitress and
smirks about it on the red carpet…I’ll be there.
Whenever a
commercial jingle about laxatives gets stuck in your head for
hours…I’ll be there.
Whenever Angelina Jolie does that utterly
annoying Mother Teresa/doped-up on Quaaludes/Earth Mother smile as she
poses with her Benetton brood…I’ll be there.
Whenever a terrible film
starring a washed-up former cast member from SNL is delivered to
theaters…I’ll be there.
Whenever Julia Roberts acts
self-absorbed…I’ll be there.
Whenever Lindsay Lohan announces she’s
going to rehab…I’ll be there.
Whenever the tabloids announce a “bump
alert” for Renee Zellweger…I’ll be there.
Whenever those same
tabloids decry Jennifer Aniston as “lonely Jen”…I’ll be there.
And
whenever Hugh Hefner has to take a Viagra to perform for his dead-eyed
twin sister girlfriends…sadly, I will be there.
Yay, though you walk
through the valley of the shadow of Entertainment Tonight and Star magazine, I am with you always.
Thanks for reading.
xoxo Miss Pop Rocks
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2009.