Miss Pop Rocks: Things That Will Last Longer Than Pam Anderson’s Marriage to Rick Salomon

Okay, so our gal Pammy and the Paris Hilton sex tape guy, Rick Salomon, supposedly got hitched this past weekend in (crazily enough) Las Vegas. It is the third marriage for both, and, according to People, it was a quickie affair that took place in between Pam’s two scheduled magic shows. (What?!)

So here is a list of things that will last longer than this marriage:

1. The fruit flies buzzing over my sink right now

2. Lindsey Lohan’s sobriety

3. The 24-hour flu

4. A sandcastle

5. Whatever restaurant goes in next at the corner of Westheimer and Yoakum

6. The perfect sunset

7. That ABC show about the Geico cavemen

8. Freshly cut flowers

9. A watercolor painting left out in the rain

10. A little pimple

I mean, maybe you think I’m being too harsh. Maybe I should give this twosome a chance. But seriously, does anyone think this one’s going to work? Perhaps I’m a big old meanie, but I would wait a few weeks before I ran out to Target to see what kind of blender they’ve registered for. — Jennifer Mathieu