It may seem that we're talkin' foolish, but Randy Travis was arrested early this morning, allegedly drunk in a car parked in front of a Baptist church in the Denton County town of Sanger. (Travis reportedly owns a ranch in Tioga, 25 miles east of Sanger.)
TMZ broke the story. They reported that a citizen notified police of a suspicious vehicle parked in front of the church with a man inside. When cops arrived, they found the one-time platinum-selling honky-tonker inside with an open bottle of wine at hand.
Hold up...Wine? Wine? What kind of honky-tonker gets busted with wine? At least he was apparently swilling it from the bottle, as no, there was no report of a receptacle of any kind, but still....
In a follow-up story, TMZ further reported that Travis told the cops he had been fighting with his girlfriend. The cop also reportedly said that Travis was slurring so heavily he could hardly be understood.
Since Travis was not seen driving the car, he was charged with public intoxication rather than DWI, and he was booked into the Denton County Jail around 1:30 am. and was released upon sobering up a few hours later.
You might have missed it, but Travis has been pitchforking the tabloids fodder by the bale since 2010. In September of 2011, the singer made news when he collapsed onstage at a Fort Worth gala performance; his camp later put out notice that the reaction between a cup of coffee and some allergy medicine was to blame.
In July of 2010, the National Enquirer reported that the 51-year-old singer's 19-year marriage to his 69-year-old manager was coming to an end because Elizabeth "Lib" Hatcher had caught him cheating with the wife of his dentist, 51-year-old Mary Beougher. Travis and Hatcher's divorce was finalized in October of 2010.
The next month, the Enquirer reported that Travis and Beougher were house-hunting together even before she was divorced, reportedly eyeing a $10 million mansion near Gainesville, Texas.
Unnamed sources predicted disaster for the couple. Not only was Travis drinking again for the first time in many years, but Beougher was oft-married and still unready to settle down, according to the tabloid's always unimpeachable sources.
The article went on to recount Travis's mid-1990s rebirth as a Christian singer, and noted that recent developments might cast the sincerity of that new direction in a less-than-positive light.
"[W]ith adultery, divorce and drinking in his life, Randy is likely to lose some Christian fans," an unnamed source told the paper.
Perhaps that was the real reason this "sanger" was found outside the Sanger church: He was just trying to win back some of those fans.
The 1991 marriage to Hatcher had tongues wagging in Music City. The couple were wed just as Travis was beginning to be publicly confronted with rumors that he was gay, rumors that Travis has always vehemently denied, not least in his Behind the Music-style CMT biography.
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All this cowboy Peyton Place carrying-on would seem to put the lie to those rumors, but no doubt for some red-ass country fans, the fact that Travis was caught with wine and not Bud Light or Jim Beam will confirm every suspicion their bigoted hearts have ever held.
Check out five other country-music arrests that sound like country-music songs.