4

Tax Day: The 5 Best Things About It

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Tomorrow is deadline day for filing your federal income taxes.

Normally, that's a terrible thing. No one except Warren Buffett is eager to pay taxes. And it's worse for us members of the hoi polloi, for while we're handing over a big chunk of our wages, we do it knowing some one-percenter member of the lucky sperm club is paying at a rate less than us.

But enough with all the negativity!!

Let's examine all the fun that comes with tax day!!

5. TV news coverage Is there a more thrilling tableau in television news than the local reporter standing by the post office or mailbox as late filers mail their returns? We think not. You can have your battlefields, your plane crashes -- we'll take the black-bean-drawing reporter who at least gets to deliver the annual use of the word "procrastinator."

And if there's anything more incisive and rewarding than an interview with one of those late filers, we can't thing what it might be.

4. The unimaginable horrors that befall someone who files at 12:01 a.m. the day after Tax Day We've never actually heard of anyone who's been penalized for filing one day late, but the media coverage of Tax Day leads us to the only logical conclusion: Being even one minute late must result in terrible, sadistic results. We imagine waterboarding is the least of it. So enjoy a little shadenfreude today because you won't be facing all that.

3. It's the one big moment for the "Tax Freedom Day" people If there's one day they're guaranteed a mention, it's today. You might think it would be on the date that they declare "Tax Freedom Day," but it's such a hack story news organizations avoid it if they can, unless they're Fox. Today, though, you have to cover taxes, so you might as well throw in a mention of the day. (It's tomorrow.)

2. Maybe you'll be getting a refund!! In which case some CPA-wannabe will take joy in pointing out that if you'd filed earlier, you'd be getting interest on that cash instead of letting it sit in Uncle Sam's vault.

1. You can be happy for all those corporations that don't pay any tax GE and Verizon are people too, Mitt Romney says, so we should all be happy for them that they manage to pay no federal taxes on their billions in income. Maybe someday this can happen to you!!

Also, check our list of the 10 hottest IRS commissioners EVER.


Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.