Well, it appears that Texas is remaining awfully red. At least for the next four years or so, anyway.

With the results of last night’s elections leaning quite heavily in favor of Texas Republicans, quite a few of the folks who were aiming to turn Texas blue took to Twitter to voice their frustrations.

We love a good vent — especially on social media — and so many of the Dems’ responses were too clever to pass up. So we’ve compiled some of the best to help you ease those blue-blooded wounds this morning.

But don’t worry. There’s more.

While we were trolling our Twitter timelines for reactions that measured up to comedic gold, we came across some of the worst sore winner comments we’ve ever seen, and because we were kind of horrified, we’ve thrown some in for good measure. Fair is fair, right?

Here’s to four more years, folks.

And here we were, hoping for just five more minutes of sleep. We’re obviously underachievers.

Truth.

That book does sound exciting, though.

We feel ya, Olive.

Ooh! Plotting! Can we join?

🙁 Wu-Tang and Wendy 4eva, right?

But…but…you’ll need a parka! Do they even sell those here?

And, of course, we have the very worst. Just maybe brace yourselves, a’ight?

Really, now? How would that even work?

Not sure what this means, but sure. Maybe it’s from the silver IUD in her mouth.

Ugh. But we like pink tennies.

Also makes no sense. Are there actual vagina costumes that exist in real life? And what, pray tell, are they used for?

Because when it comes to looks, well, Abbott obviously takes the pageant cake. Misogyny fail.

Just…what?!

There is no such thing as this type of Barbie, folks. But there is a dollhouse. Not an abortion dollhouse, though.

And, we’re pretty much done with life now.

This article appears in Oct 30 – Nov 5, 2014.