Texas native Jack Worthington is sure of at least one thing: He’s John F. Kennedy’s love-child.

Worthington, who lives in Canada, says he’s not seeking money from the Kennedy family, but chose to go public after Vanity Fair had reportedly considered running a story on Worthington. (After the magazine reportedly spoke with Sen. Ted Kennedy, the piece was killed, Mary Jo Kopechne-style.)

While Worthington awaits DNA testing to prove his claim, some folks are investigating other alleged aspects of his family’s that possibly mirror Kennedy characteristics, including:

– a penchant for football-on-skis

– a profound love of convertibles

– prefrontal lobotomies for family members with “mood swings”

– piloting planes upside-down

– banging underage baby-sitters

– being acquitted of rape

The Press will continue to stay on this extremely important story. Or not. – Craig Malisow

The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 34-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well...