The Cowboys Still Suck...

Consider this an artist's rendering of Cowboys Tony Romo and T.O.

Thank the football god above, the Texans-Cowboys game is over.

The chatter on sports talk radio is almost dead. And no longer do we have to watch T.O. crying about his lack of tosses (unless you tune into ESPN, that is). The Governor's Cup talk is behind us. We can be spared the visage of Jerry Jones's melting face.

Anyone who's seen the Texans and Cowboys play this season knew we were going to lose Sunday. And no, it's not because "the Texans suck." The team was leading in the first half. The normally porous offensive line actually held up in pass protection. Coach Kubiak's plan of getting the ball to our offensive beast Andre Johnson was sound — he became the key to our success on drives.

David Carr looked better than he has all year. His drop back n' run play that came late in the second quarter was a snapshot of his skills. He read the defense, bolted, sprinted past some mean bastards, and was laid out by Cowboys executioner Roy Williams as he slid. And what did he do? He bounced right up.

But the team can't run block. We lack a credible starting running back. And our defensive backfield is suspect, to say the least. (To be fair, starting corner Lewis Sanders got arm-raped on the first Terrell Owens touchdown. There hasn't been man-on-man canoodling like that since the whole Foley thing.)

Next: Meet Cowboys Fan and his four teeth. Sweet!

And there were injuries. We lost DT Seth Payne to a season-ending knee injury. (Oh by the way, thank you, "broadcaster" Dick Enberg, for your lame-ass "Seth Payne is in pain" comment. I'm sure it's that kind of wit that got you into the talkies, back when you started your career.) Dunta Robinson, our pick for Best Texan, was off the field getting an IV when T.O. scored again. Veteran o-lineman Zach Wiegert left the game, fueling an over-hyped "Dear God, where is Steve McKinney?" investigative report on Sportsradio 610's broadcast.

It's simple. The Cowboys had it handed to them by a superior team when they played the Eagles. And as we've learned, when you get your ass kicked, you beat up on a lesser power. Sunday, the Cowboys took on a team in transition and ran up the score. Watching T.O. and Tony Romo celebrate after Romo threw his first touchdown (against a beaten team late in the game, when other teams would run the ball) to Owens, I noticed that the duo bore a striking resemblance to Terence and Philip.

Speaking of Romo, it should be noted that yesterday's game united two groups of Texas pro football fans. Arguably the only thing more annoying than listening to "Start Sage Rosenfels" Texans fans is, in fact, listening to "Start Tony Romo" Cowboys fans. Both groups fail to see that when your starting QB has the shit kicked out of him regularly (say, David Carr and Drew Bledsoe, for example), he's likely to have a tough go of it. Yet they cheer on quarterbacks who only enter games when the teams are winning or playing in the preseason. You can imagine the dialogue:

Texans fan: "You know, you guys should really start Romo. He's good." Cowboys fan, spitting Skoal: "Yer dang right! And yew guyz shud start that Sage guy." Texans fan: "How 'bout them Horns? Sweet!" Cowboys fan, smiling a four-toothed grin: "Yeah, sweet!"

Oh, and speaking of the Horns, congrats to home boy Vince Young for his first win. We can't wait to see how he celebrates on the Next Level. Steven Devadanam

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