It has been learned that Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana is suing the first ex-Mrs. Joe Montana regarding personal items of his which were sold at an auction. Among those things sold were his freshman college ID and some rather sappy love letters he wrote to the first ex-Mrs. Joe Montana.

Now, Houstoned Ballz has received from our secret sources (i.e. I made it up) a list of Roger Clemensโ€™s personal items which have been put up for auction by one Mindy McCready:

1. Like new, one de-magnetized room key for the Toronto SkyDome hotel โ€“ Rocket DNA included on said room key.

2. One Toronto Blue Jay photo ID of Roger Clemens, allowing bearer access to Blue Jay parking and clubhouse.

3. One Polaroid photo of Clemens and Mindy inside the Rocketโ€™s private jet โ€“ autographed, โ€œRocket and Mindy 4evah.โ€

4. One needle, and one bandage, of which Clemens asked Mindy to dispose.

5. One sheet of memo pad paper with note, โ€œcall Brian regarding abscess,โ€ in Rogerโ€™s handwriting.

Now, we at Ballz have been unable to confirm the existence of these items, and we have not been able to confirm when the auction will be held, or which company will be auctioning the items (this is probably because we made this up). But if we should hear anything more regarding these items, we will gladly relay this information. โ€“ John Royal

The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 34-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well...