Twitter Wars: Richard Sherman Takes on the World

It was a polarizing moment, maybe the most polarizing moment of the NFL season (not involving Richie Incognito talking about running a train on one of Jonathan Martin’s female relatives), but I loved Richard Sherman’s promo that he cut on Michael Crabtree after the NFC Title Game in Seattle.

It was brash, it was honest, it was loud. It was basically all the things that any self-respecting WWE fan (which I am) should love.

For those who have forgotten the moment, to refresh, here it is:

Honestly, as an aside, I’m not saying that interview has become tamer since it actually happened, but it does feel more and more ridiculous that it was so controversial the further removed from it that we get. It still feels fun to me!

It frankly makes me wish the season started tomorrow. And if this were 1990, or 2000, or even 2005, we would probably have to wait until July or August to climb back aboard the Richard Sherman Shit Talk Express. But now, in 2014, thanks to the magic of Twitter, we get Richard Sherman’s reminding his peers just how great he is year round!

Take yesterday, for example.

Yesterday was a busy Twitter day for Richard Sherman. He took on not just one, but two of his fellow NFLers in a Twitter steel cage match where the winner ultimately took home the grand prize of self satisfaction and the adulation of Twitter dorks (like me) everywhere.

It was quite the display of social media endurance by Sherman, like the Twitter version of Bret “Hitman” Hart in Wrestlemania X, where he took on his brother Owen Hart in a 45 minute opening match and then wrestled in the main event against Yokozuna for the WWE championship.

Exact. Same. Thing.

So let’s take a look back at these epic Sherman battles from yesterday:

MATCH #1: RICHARD SHERMAN vs LeGARRETTE BLOUNT, free agent running back The beef: Aqib Talib, a teammate of Blount’s in both Tampa Bay and New England, just signed one of the richest contracts for a cornerback in the history of the league with the Denver Broncos. Blount used Twitter to congratulate Talib and affirm that, in Blount’s opinion, Talib is the best cornerback in the league. Sherman respectfully disagrees.

We pick up the action at Blount’s congrats to Talib…

CONGRATS TO MY BROTHER LIB! YOU DESERVE IT BIG BRO! THE BEST CORNER IN THE LEAGUE AND ITS TIME YOU GOT PAID LIKE IT!! pic.twitter.com/cem22QtKJ2

— LeGarrette Blount (@LG_Blount) March 12, 2014

You can tell Blount is sincerely excited for his buddy, because he is SCREAMING IT AT US IN ALL CAPS!!!!
From here, I’m guessing that Sherman has some sort of filter set up on Twitter to let him know anytime another NFL player (or another human being, for that matter) opines that someone other than Sherman is the best corner in the league, because shortly after Blount’s congrats came this…

@LG_Blount it’s all good…. Hard to argue with friendship

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 12, 2014

Awesome. Sherman is basically saying “That can’t be your real opinion, you’re just saying that because you’re friends.” He’s practically giving Blount the benefit of the doubt instead of calling him stupid.
From here, the two traded Twitter blows that went on for a long, long, looooooong time, and for the sake of brevity (and so that you won’t get fired for reading this post all day), I’ll cut to the knockout blow by Sherman, the Twitter DDT that left Blount in a pool of his own blood….

@LG_Blount did that help y’all win the bowl or nah?

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 13, 2014

Yep, at the end of the day, Sherman can pretty much just drop “Super Bowl” on people, and it’s over. This is the world we live in now, people.

From there, Sherman wasn’t done. He went from beef with a friend of a highly paid NFL cornerback to beef with an actual highly paid (ok, overpaid) NFL cornerback….

MATCH #1: RICHARD SHERMAN vs DeANGELO HALL, Washington Redskins cornerback The beef: DeAngelo Hall thinks that Richard Sherman gets matched up all too often against a team’s second best wide receiver, and is therefore not the best in the league. Again, Sherman respectfully disagrees.

Hall’s opening salvo….

I can’t lie @RSherman_25 the world wants to see you lock up with guys like @Bigplaycj @DezBryant @ajgreen_18 all game long. I do too!!!!!!

— DeAngelo Hall (@DeAngeloHall23) March 13, 2014

From there, the actual back and forth between the two started out cordially enough, almost like they were in a rest hold at the beginning of a scientific wrestling match…

@DeAngeloHall23 we all do. Just make sure it’s a rare occurrence ….

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 13, 2014

But it escalated quickly, with Sherman immediately going into business for himself and raining Twitter blows down upon Hall….

@DeAngeloHall23 been tough on u huh lol

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 14, 2014

OUCH….

@DeAngeloHall23 I checked ya film! It was rough…. Have some pride bout ya play

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 14, 2014

OOOF….

@DeAngeloHall23 I just see a lot of Ls

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 14, 2014

POWWW…..

@DeAngeloHall23 let me know when u ever have an 8 pick season…. Please….I’ll be awaiting that call

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 14, 2014

Hall tried to reply to the “8 pick season” with a rack about his four interception game, which is a little like Dexy’s Midnight Runners getting into an argument with the Beatles and saying “Um, hey bro, ‘Come on, Eileen’ ring a bell?” Take a look…

@RSherman_25 let me know when you get 4INTs in one game.

— DeAngelo Hall (@DeAngeloHall23) March 14, 2014

Oh man….this won’t go well….

@DeAngeloHall23 is that all u had that season?

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) March 14, 2014

(Jim Ross voice)…..GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY….HE KILLED HIM…..GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF…. At this point, Hall either threw in the towel or the ref stopped the damn match, either way, this one was over. The winner and still shit talk champion of the world….