Hulkamania was running wild at the Republican National Convention last month. WWE Hall of Famer, n-word appreciator, and union saboteur Hulk Hogan appeared live on stage to endorse former president and current convicted felon Donald Trump. Trump is also a WWE Hall of Famer, albeit in the celebrity wing and certainly not for his skill taking a Stone Cold Stunner. Seriously, people who believe that Trump’s assassination attempt was staged should look very hard at how badly the man sells a move.
Since the Republicans trotted out one of the most storied names in the wrestling business, it’s only sensible for Democrats to try and do the same. To quote the kids: the left has the potential to do the funniest of all time by one-upping the right with a surprise guest. Here are five suggestions for wrestlers to appear at the DNC August 19-22.
Cody Rhodes
The current undisputed champion, Cody Rhodes, is pretty progressive. The American Nightmare is a formidable LGBT ally, especially with it comes to trans fans and peers in the ring. Though Rhodes tries to stay out of the Twitter wars, he has stated plainly that he did not vote for Trump. He’s also spoken in favor of some moderate gun control. It doesn’t hurt that Rhodes would definitely show up in a nice suit that will definitely fit in with the highest people in government.
Liv Morgan
Fresh off an incredible program with Rhea Ripley, the current women’s champion Liv Morgan has no problem stirring the pot publicly. In 2022, she donated every cent of her July Cameo appearances to the National Network of Abortion Funds, a foundation that helps people who need reproductive care overcome financial hurdles. The loss of abortion rights nationwide has been a potent issue since 2022, and having one of the highest profile women wrestlers on Earth remind voters who cost them those rights would be powerful stuff.
Jim Cornette
If there is any true counterpart politically to Hulk Hogan, it’s the one and only Brother Love Jim Cornette. While not a wrestler himself, Cornette has proven his bump bonafides in the ring, making him both a tough guy and also proof why we don’t do scaffold matches anymore. The former manager, booker, and color commentator is a screaming leftist who pulls no punches. Choice quote: “I’m a Democratic Socialist—look it up. It’s the only level-headed approach in the modern world with the billionaires giving it to us all up the sphincter.”
CM Punk
Punk is well known for being the most fuck-denuded man in all of wrestling, and it shows in his politics. He regularly tweets against the work of American Republicans, castigating them in 2022 for their anti-reproductive health policies and educational stances. He is also a huge proponent of LGBT rights. The downside to having Punk is the same as the upside: he’s going to say what he wants no matter what. Sometimes this good, and sometimes it’s telling homophobic commenters to kill themselves.
Mick Foley
There is no more beloved figure in wrestling alive than Mick Foley. He is as famous for his kind of intellectualism as he is for being thrown off the top of a cage. In the 2020 election, he spoke eloquently about the need to defeat Trump, calling it a matter of preserving democracy.
“I really do feel like future generations are going to study this period of time and wonder how we stood by and let so much go wrong,” he said on social media. “I want to be on the right side of history.”
Having the hardcore legend walk out on stage for cheap pops and deep thoughts would certainly make people forget about Hogan’s appearance.
This article appears in Jan 1 – Dec 31, 2024.
