5 Food Celebrities We'd Rather See Naked Than Anthony Bourdain (and 5 We Wouldn't)

In case you hadn’t heard — especially since the man himself Tweeted the pic — a nude photo of Anthony Bourdain surfaced yesterday, taken 12 years prior while on vacation. To quote Bourdain on the photo’s origin, “My wife took ’em. Fuck it. Welcome to the Caribbean.”

It’s not the first time we’ve seen Mr. Bourdain in the nude, although the first time famously featured the chef holding a bone in front of his…er…bone. So the news that TMZ had acquired a “legit” nude photo of the chef wasn’t really all that exciting.

Because as much as we like Bourdain (and as much as we agree with the fact that he’s got a killer tan in the photo), he’s not the celeb at the top of our “celebrities we want to see naked” list. He’s not even the celeb at the top of our “food celebrities we want to see naked list.”

But these folks are.

Food Celebrities We Want To See Naked:

5. Gail Simmons

It just seems like all of her would be equally…perky… She’s also prettier in person than we thought she could possibly be. Sigh.

4. Sophie Dahl

She may have lost a lot of her signature weight, but she’s still gorgeous to us — and possibly more gorgeous to those who like their women on the skinny side. (Of course, to see Ms. Dahl nude, you really only need turn to her infamous Yves Saint Laurent campaign.)

3. Ludovic Lefebre

It’s a romance novel cover come to life…with fish.

2. Nigella Lawson

Even Nigella wants to see Nigella naked.

1. Curtis Stone

This man is so pretty it hurts. Thanks, Australia. This makes up for Natalie Imbruglia.

Food Celebrities We DO NOT WANT To See Naked:

5. Jamie Oliver

We do not care if Naked Chef is in the title of his show, we still don’t want to see his pasty English ass naked and possibly weeping on screen.

4. Padma Lakshmi

We can only imagine it would be like looking at a mannequin before it’s dressed and put in a store window. Besides, she’s already half-naked most of the time anyway. The thrill is gone.

3. Bobby Flay

So much of Flay’s posturing and antics seem to be manifested from deep-seated insecurity. We’re not exactly sure where that insecurity comes from, but also don’t want to find out face-to-face. (See also: DiSpirito, Rocco)

2. Mario Batali

So much hair. So much ginger hair. All over the place. Like a shag carpet in the basement of the Brady Bunch house.

1. Paula Deen

Quod erat demonstrandum.

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