All Your Protein Bars Are Belong to Us

Nerds don't tend to eat well.

Whether you are watching an epic Dr. Who marathon or trying to vanquish your mortal enemy (i.e. Kenny in accounting) in World of Warcraft, it's tough to take your hand off the controls or your eyes off the screen long enough to consume anything more substantive than Cheetos and Red Bull.

And let's face it, there's no time to cook anything other than a microwave dinner or a frozen pizza. Hell, you don't have time to clean, bathe or get up to go to the bathroom (hello, empty Coke bottles!), so there's no way you're going to lose your edge in Call of Duty for food.

Well, you're in luck, Sparky, because a new company feels your pain and wants to help keep you fresh for that Legend of Zelda tournament this weekend. Meet Gamer Food, providing sustenance for freaks stealthy wizards like yourself.

We at gamer food believe that hunger, malnourishment, and fatigue are our mortal enemies in a never-ending war, and like any good warrior we never go into battle unprepared.

That's why we have striven to craft the most powerful weapons possible.

We use materials of the utmost quality and we stand by our work. We are sharing it because although we may be opponents in the virtual world, we are all allies in the real one!

Gamer Food, whose tag line is "Pwn your Hunger," sells an assortment of health and energy bars with video game-like packaging, names and messages. For about 30 bucks, you can get yourself 12 Cookie Dough bars that will "give you just the boost you need to steamroll your opponents," or the Health Bar, which contains goji berries and macadamia butter.

So, eat up, epic warrior, because no matter what your nutritional needs, apparently Gamer Food has got you covered.

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Jeff Balke is a writer, editor, photographer, tech expert and native Houstonian. He has written for a wide range of publications and co-authored the official 50th anniversary book for the Houston Rockets.
Contact: Jeff Balke