It's Rodeo time again, kids, and you know what that means: Salads and kale shots for everyone!

Oh, who are we kidding? It's showtime for some of the most fattening and interesting concoctions ever to be assembled in one place. The annual Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is here again with its  mutton bustin', shit kickin' and two steppin'. So drop those Gs from your vocabulary and drop some Gs (or at least a few Benajmins) at the Midway for some delicious food and drink. For those who need a guide to what's new and tasty at Houston's Western version of Carnivale (with less skin and more cows), we have a firsthand look at some of the Rodeo's best food vendors from the Gold Buckle Foodie Awards 2023.
This year, the judged event took place March 2 at Berg Hospitality's upscale tented venue, The Ranch Saloon + Steakhouse. Around 40 or so of Houston's best chefs, local television and radio personalities and media came together, by invitation, to choose the best foods for this year from participating vendors. The finalists are chosen by the general public with voting held for three weeks, January 30 through February 19. The top three competitors in each of five categories compete for the number one Gold Buckle Foodie Awards in their field. To say there's a lot of gloriously over-the-top food is an understatement.
This year was my third for judging, with the pandemic having knocked out the event for 2021. It was the second time for the Gold Buckle Foodie Awards to be held in restaurateur Benjamin Berg's pop-up steakhouse, which has its own bar, stage, and dining room. Decorated wall to wall in chic Western furnishings, it's a pleasant spot to sit for a couple of hours as Rodeo volunteers place plate after plate of rich and delicious bites in front of the judges.

Our emcee, decked out in a gold sequined jacket,  got the ball rolling and the crowd going. When it was announced that Houston PBS television host Ernie Manouse was on his 15th year of judging the event, the emcee handed over his blingy jacket for Manouse to wear the rest of the afternoon.
My tablemates were radio personalities, local food writers and television journalists. The first plates set before us were in the Best Fried Food category. The set up this year was different than last and was much more streamlined. We each had a plate with a piece of fried chicken tender, waffle fries and an orb of fried cookie dough. The second plate had a fried zucchini matchstick and a nice-sized hunk of fried lasagna roll. All of these items were delicious and it was a great start. With a choice of sauce for the tender, I chose gravy and was very glad I did. The tender was perfectly cooked.

The deep-fried lasagna roll was a surprise with its balance of sauce and meat just right. The fried cookie dough was like a dense beignet with chocolatey goodness inside. Choosing a winner was not going to be easy.
The second category was Best Food-on-a Stick. We each received a slice of Apple Pie Candy Apple which was a great way to eat it. When I saw the Rodeo version, it would take some doing not to lose your front teeth in the giant candy apple. We were also given a mini version of the Big K-Dog from new participant, Asian Streetness, which had an impressive three entries in the event.  The rice flour coating and cheese were delicious. However, when one of my tablemates said, " I'm looking for the weenie", there might have been some Michael Scott replies of "That's what she said." It would not be the last of the sausage and weenie jokes.
The third entry in the food-on-a-stick category was a surprise hit. I, for one, have never eaten pickle pizza and the thought was slightly revolting to me, despite the fact that I adore dill pickles. This curiosity was pizza dough filled with dill pickle slices and mozzarella cheese, wrapped around a paint stick, topped with more cheese and pickles. I ate half of it before reminding myself that we had several more categories to make it through. One of my tablemates, who shall remain nameless in order to protect the not-so-innocent, ate all of hers. She could have taken the remaining paint stick home for DIY.
Next up was Classic Fair Food. We had the enviable task of choosing between the OG Trill Burger, a beautifully Southern-fried chicken wing and a simple but tasty ribeye sandwich. It was one of the more difficult decisions. Some folks were ga-ga over the cornmeal-crusted wing of beauty, others were giving all their love to Bun B's Trill Burger. I was torn. I love Trill's smashburgers but I was drawn to the ribeye sandwich for its tender meat, sweet onions and especially the toasted bread with a hint of garlic powder. In the end, it placed third but I think a smear of aioli or even some provolone cheese would have given it more of an edge.

Then, we were on to Most Creative Food. Though everything we were eating seemed to be pretty creative, this category is where participants have a little extra fun. The Un-PHO-gettable Burger was forgettable to me but I will admit that I have never gotten on the pho bandwagon. I'm more of a ramen gal. The Rattlesnake Corn Dog had a tasty jalapeno sauce but it wasn't the most creative dish. The winner this go-around was the Deep Fried BLT. It was messy, but sinfully delicious.
By this point, buttons were flying off Wranglers and strangers were telling each other their most intimate food stories. We were up to Best New Flavor. The Viet Taco was a tasty play on banh mi. The Loaded Pork Belly Fries had wonderfully charred meat, but the fries didn't impress. I would have liked to have seen the flavorful pork used in a better way.

In the end, it was Saltgrass Steak House that took the honors with its Brad's BBQ Sundae. Thankfully, it wasn't ice cream. It was baked potato topped with smoky chopped meat (I think it was pulled pork), pickled jalapenos, sour cream and a tiny tomato as the cherry on top. That may not sound super creative but the presentation of it, in a plastic cowboy hat with a sausage sticking out of it, was kind of adorable. If you're walking around with this at the Rodeo, expect people to ask where you got it.
Finally, our foodie feast was coming to an end. We cleansed our palates with bottled water and a few folks managed a couple of grapes. I wasn't sure I could make it through one more category, especially sugary and decadent desserts. I survived, but just barely.

For Best Dessert, we were given a taste of The Ultimate Minnieapple Pie. For me, it was too heavy on the cinnamon but some folks like it that way. The Original Minnieapple Pie is no stranger to the Gold Buckle Foodie Awards but this year, it was its Deep Fried Cookie Dough that excelled.

The Smores Pie had all the basic s'mores ingredients which meant it was rich and gooey. Being served in a mini pie tin makes it an easy Rodeo snack to carry around.
Then, one of the best bites of the day arrived. We were each given a Styrofoam container with little cubes of Deep Fried Bread Pudding drizzled with a sticky, sweet sauce. It was quiet in the room except for the moans of pleasure, a fitting way to end a foodie orgy. I saved some of mine to take home to my family. I was not the only one.

Then, the winners were announced and given their awards. I left the tent (if you can really call it that) a bit on the woozy side, despite having only had bottled water to drink. Fearing that I might be pulled over for having a blood fat level three times higher than I should, I stopped for a few minutes to watch the Mutton Bustin'.
I have only seen the event on television before. Wee cowboys and cowgirls try to stay on a wooly sheep for six seconds as the sheep barges out of the gate eager to run to its herd mates. I felt slightly uncomfortable, as a mom, watching the five and six-year-olds hanging on for dear life. Still, with helmets protecting their little heads, the only thing that seemed bruised was their egos. The sheep, for their part, just seemed annoyed.
I grabbed up my Styrofoam container of deep-fried bread pudding and headed for the parking lot, stomach filled with naughty and nice Rodeo bites. I hope the interminably long walk burned off a few calories.

If you're off to the Rodeo this year, here are the tasty winners. You might want to forego the denim and wear sweatpants.


HLSR Gold Buckle Foodie Awards 2023:

Best Fried Food:
1st: Deep Fried Cookie Dough-The Original Minnieapple Pie-CD202
2nd: Deep Fried Lasagna Roll- Southern Fried Saloon-CD204
3rd: The Original Tender Basket-Holmes Smokehouse-RP60

Best Food-on-a-Stick:
1st: Pickle Pizza on a Stick-Swain's Pizza on a Stick-J505
2nd: Apple Pie Candy Apple-Munch-oes Bakery-E6119
3rd: Big K-Dog-Asian Streetness-AR604

Classic Fair Food:
1st: OG Trill Burger-Trill Burgers-RP130
2nd:Southern Fried Chicken Wings-Southern Fried Saloon-CD204
3rd: Ribeye Sandwich-Spring Country Kitchen-J506

Most Creative Food:
1st: Deep Fried BLT-Texas Sized Pizza/Burger & Chili Shack
2nd(TIE): Un-PHO-gettable Burger-Asian Streetness-AR604
                Rattlesnake Corn Dog-Pioneer Wagon-CD205

Best New Flavor:
1st: Brad's BBQ Sundae-Saltgrass Steak House-LOO63
2nd: Viet Taco-Asian Streetness-AR604
3rd: Loaded Pork Belly Fries-Blue Ribbon Grill-RP45

Best New Dessert:
1st: Deep Fried Bread Pudding-Cajun Cowboy-RP55
2nd: Smores Pie-Finer Diner-RP47
3rd: The Ultimate Minnieapple Pie-The Original Minnieapple Pie-CD202