Purple Popsicle

When I heard about Tuesday-night drag queen bingo at Meteor Lounge (2306 Genesee, 713-521-0123), I slammed my drink down and headed straight over. Bingo was starting just as I arrived, so I bought a stack of cards and found a seat at the end of the bar. I asked the bartender if he had any special drinks. “You need to try Nick’s Purple Popsicle,” he said. I hoped he was talking about a martini. While Nick was mixing my drink, a lusty drag queen named Lillian explained the rules over the PA: “If I say, ‘I-27,’ you say, ‘I I I I I need a drink.’ ” If she called out an O, you had to fake an orgasm. Sofonda, one of the other queens, was monitoring my cards to make sure I was “doing it right.” After all, I was, as she put it, “a virgin.” Between games, a hostess passed around dollar shots called blue balls. After a couple of those, I noticed Sofonda had really nice legs. Damn, those Purple Popsicles were stiff”As the night went on, people started to make farm-animal orgasm noises. I lost 20 bucks at bingo, but at least all the money went to a good cause, the Montrose Clinic.

6 ounces Skyy vodka
1 ounce DeKuyper Pucker grape schnapps

Shake the vodka and schnapps in a shaker filled with ice. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with a virgin cherry — I mean, a maraschino cherry.