The Next Big Thing from Ron Jeremy Isn't in His Pants

No, it's not a joke. Ron Jeremy is taking his talents from the world of hard-core pornography to the realm of hard liquor with Ron de Jeremy, a new line of "adult rum" (not to be confused with all the rum you drank as a child).

The adult film industry icon partnered up with 72-year-old Master Distiller Francisco "Don Pancho" Fernandez to create a seven-year-old premium Panamanian rum, set to launch in 2011. As expected, the product website is filled with sexual innuendo about Jeremy's legendary physical endowment, with snakes, oversize cigars, a distribution company called One Eyed Spirits, and descriptions like, "The finish is elegant and long."

Jeremy's adventures in alcohol are not unique. When it comes to merchandising, female celebrities launch fragrance lines; the men make booze. A few celebrity spirits of note: California wine from Francis Ford and Sophia Coppola, Dan Akroyd's Crystal Head Vodka, Danny DeVito Limoncello, Sean Combs for Ciroc Vodka, Willie Nelson's Old Whiskey River Bourbon and Mansinthe, a line of absinthe from Brian Hugh Warner, a.k.a. Marilyn Manson (the goth musician's original artwork also appears on the label).

The first-edition limited series of numbered Ron de Jeremy will be available exclusively to "Ron de Jeremy fans" who sign up to be notified when the product becomes available for purchase at various e-tailers later this year. Upon submitting our information on the web link, we received a prompt email response confirming that we would indeed, "be among of the first ones to taste Ron de Jeremy."

Thank the lord they're referring to the rum.

(Above, Ellen Degeneres tests Sean "Diddy" Combs on his product knowledge, asking him to pick out his Ciroc vodka from competitors in a (very entertaining) blind taste test.)

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Lauren Marmaduke
Contact: Lauren Marmaduke