I pop into the Shiloh Club (1321 Studewood St., 713-880-2401) in the middle of the afternoon to check in on my favorite mercenary bartender, Maggie, who has served me drinks at more bars than I've had black-outs in. The first thing I notice is a pack of regulars staring at a TV on top of an old refrigerator. I ask Maggie what's up with them, and she says, #210Oh, they're watching Urban Cowboy.Ó Fitting! I order a shot called the Jolly Rancher, which Maggie claims is popular with the regulars. It tastes like a watermelon candy. Before Bud can win back Sissy, regulars start rolling in. Maggie knows everybody's name and what they drink. One old guy wearing huge women's sunglasses orders a Natural Ice with a cup of ice to pour the shitty beer over...yeah! The Shiloh Club is an old building that 30 years ago used to store and sell ice blocks — it's the kind of neighborhood bar that serves the regulars in their own personal koozies. The old man next to me tells me he never drinks hard liquor, ever since the accident in the Navy back in '67. I decide it's a good time to sit at a table. The Shiloh bar is like that bar your drunk uncle took you to when you were 12 and your mom got so pissed she didn't talk to him for like five years. Most of the regulars look like fishing buddies who sit around all day watching NASCAR. I can't imagine them taking shots that taste like watermelon; in fact, I don't notice a single person drinking anything but Lite beer, except for the Natural Ice drinkers. I really like this bar, especially when the really old ladies come in and order tomato juice and watch the 5 o'clock news on the big screen.

1 ounce Watermelon Pucker schnapps

2 ounces Crown Royal whisky

splash of sweet & sour mix

splash of 7-Up

Prepare the drink by shaking all the ingredients and a cup of ice in a shaker; strain into a shot glass. Now check to see if your granny wants one!

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Jason Kerr