This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where our Christmas leftovers are starting to get a little ripe. The week or so leading up to Christmas this year was about as Christmassy as a late-July outing to Splashtown, so we figured "screw it" and went out for some ice cream like we would any other summer day. Warm weather at Christmas is as depressing as cold weather at any other time of the year is.

On the other hand, we now have Cheeto Sundays to look forward to. Thanks, Geri! You may have spared us an entirely miserable January.

Of course, the closing of the year is a great time to make disgusting resolutions, and we have naturally done exactly that. We're also looking forward to some sweet new food trends in 2011, not the least of which is to never again make the rookie mistake of over-smooshing our gelatin stock. A common headache.

Over the past few years we've had it drilled into us that all seafood that doesn't come out of the Gulf tastes like mouse vomit and ghosts, so imagine our surprise when we tried some East Coast oysters and didn't shit ourselves to death. $1 per oyster is a little steep, though. Damn Yankees.

The Houston Zoo is opening a new restaurant within its confines which we have been assured does not utilize the flesh of any of the animals which have recently gone mysteriously missing, so that's a relief. We're joking of course; no animals have gone mysteriously missing at the Houston Zoo, and they actually have a fairly strict "no cooking and eating the exhibitions" policy. Sure, we found that out and had to spend a couple nights in jail, but that okapi was delicious, by God.

A new column for a New Year appeared in the form of "A Weekly Tip From Your Friendly Server," and you should pay attention and find out how not to be one of those customers everyone hates. They have ways to punish you, you know. Oh, they have ways.

Did you know a lot of places around town offer cheap lunches? Well, they do, and you should check 'em out next time you're feeling fancier than your checking account balance would suggest. Or you could opt for some simple Nation of Islam-friendly fare, because if you eat sweet potatoes, when the Mothership comes, it won't take you to Elijah Xenu's Paradise Island and Relaxation Resort and will instead abandon you on a planet where the radio plays only Michael Bolton's covers of Motown classics. Wait, is that from the Nation of Islam's theology or Parliament Funkadelic's? We can never remember.

Get lucky with some traditional New Year's foods. I didn't know about the donuts. This changes everything. We've also listed some foods that aren't lucky, but maybe you'll enjoy eating them anyway. Use your iPhone to take some decent pictures of your New Year's spread and send them on in to us. We like that kind of thing.

Finally, it's time to take a look back at our most popular posts of the year. When we switched over to the new comments system, all the previous comments were deleted, which means you guys now have to replace each and every one of them. You'd better get started!

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John Seaborn Gray