Earlier this week we looked at some of the most memorable fast food commercials from the 1980s. Now it’s time to charge your flux capacitors for a trip back to see some of the best and most sexually perverse booze ads the 80’s had to offer.
5. Bud Light: Spuds Mackenzie
Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one? They called him, “The Original Party Animal”, I call him a dog that successfully seduces human bitches. Either way, it was a hit and Bud’s stranglehold on the US beer market continued. Bestiality rules!
4. Bartles & Jaymes: The two old dudes
The two first two words that come to mind when I hear wine cooler are “heart & burn”. The second two words would be Bartles & Jaymes. Back in the 80’s there was a folksy, chubby guy and a slim, silent fella that went on crazy adventures to introduce you to flavors like Black Cherry.
3. Seagram’s Wine Cooler: Bruce Willis
Just before Bruce Willis became a megastar with a gem called Hudson Hawk he was a die hard pitchman for Seagram’s. Maybe he had a sixth sense about the growing beverage market or maybe he simply wanted to moonlight as a dancing harmonica player in sin city. Still, after five years the campaign seemed unbreakable and destined for pulp fiction. I can say though that it would have to be Armageddon before I would buy one of those things.
Colt .45: Billy Dee Williams
Put simply, when Lando Calrissian tells you to do something, you do it. That includes being an extra sexy lady and hopping into the satin-clad sack. It also includes drinking Colt .45.
1. SNL When It Was Still Relevant
OK, I have to admit, this isn’t from the 80’s and it isn’t a real commercial but it is possibly the best spoof of a Reagan-era beer ad ever. Just wait ’til ya see the pool.
This article appears in Jun 24-30, 2010.