Latest Stories

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  Reviews For The Easily Distracted:
  Aladdin

  May 24 at 4 a.m.

  Title: Aladdin Describe This Movie in One Game of Thrones Quote: CERSEI LANNISTER: I wanted those elephants. Brief Plot Synopsis: Homeless man rubs one out. A genie, that is. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 2.5 Brick Tamlands out of 5. Tagline: "The magic comes to life." Better Tagline: "How 'bout a little...

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  Game of Thrones Series Finale: No Future for You

  May 20 at 6:32 a.m.

  Spoilers Ahead!! Normally when I do these hot take reviews, I write a filler paragraph full of trivia about the show to give people a chance to turn away, but today I have an anecdote instead. Back when WWE, WCW, and ECW were all still going strong in wrestling, I...

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  Reviews For The Easily Distracted:
  John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

  May 17 at 5 a.m.

  Title: John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum Describe This Movie In A Blatant Ripoff Of Joe Bob Briggs's Review Style: Eleventy hundred dead bodies, zero breasts, multiple cranial perforations, one explosive decapitation, one (self-inflicted) severed finger, a dozen dislocated shoulders, five crotch kicks, six crotch bites, balcony fu, book fu,...

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  Man for Make-Up: Urban Decay Game of Thrones Collection

  May 17 at 4 a.m.

  Urban Decay sent me their limited edition Game of Thrones collection, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t worn make-up in around ten years. There’s not a lot of call for getting all gussied up when you work at home and the only people to impress are your cats...

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  Mother's Day Brings A Break In The Weather and the Last Day of Comicpalooza

  May 13 at 6:16 a.m.

  Comicpalooza closed out its third and final day at the George R. Brown Convention Center Sunday capping off a weekend filled with Game of Thrones actresses, video game championships, panels for all things creative, cosplayers and sword fighting. On Mother’s Day, fans were rewarded with a break in the weather...

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  Game of Thrones S8E5: Dany Is Us

  May 13 at 6:02 a.m.

  Warning: Spoilers Ahead This hot take about last night’s episode contains spoilers. So, here’s a filler paragraph to give you a chance to look away lest I ruin the episode. Did you know that the giant that allies with Jon Snow, Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun, got his name from...