Most Popular
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Barack Obama and Me
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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Mescaline on the Mexican Border
Texas is the only state in the country where peyote is sold legally. Really.
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Little Bitty Burger Barn
"It's okay to be little bitty in the big city" is an apt slogan for this new burger joint, where sliders rule
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Ghost Town CFS: Carriage House Cafe
Step back in time to a spooky old carriage barn with a monster chicken-fried steak
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Barack Obama and Me (251)
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita (17)
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Save Lobo: A Siberian Husky Mix is Sentenced to Die (28)
Why? Because he's big and intimidating and because one family complained about him over and over again
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Are You Hot Enough for Citizen Lounge? (7)
All This Useless Beauty
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HoustonHipHop.com Relaunch Party (5)
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Barack Obama and Me
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
-
Mescaline on the Mexican Border
Texas is the only state in the country where peyote is sold legally. Really.
-
A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Live-Action Role-Players Get Boffed in Amtgard
Amid flailing swords and flying shields, these modern-day knights fight on
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Tax Break for the Rich; Roger Clemens at the Capitol; Green Sex
Mayor White gets help from the appraisal district
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Over the Weekend: Fotos, Dogs and Sausage. And Hannah Montana Too.
08:50AM 03/10/08 -
Friday Night: Wilco at Verizon Wireless Theater
05:04PM 03/10/08 -
Spring Training Doesn’t Count, Except for When It Does
04:29PM 03/10/08 -
Sausage Fest: Bangers and Mash at Red Lion Pub
11:40AM 03/08/08
What we are writing about
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Recent Articles By Randall Patterson
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Chicken Man
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Pain in the Ass
America's Service Station claims to be the auto repair exception.So how come the high prices, cheap parts and minimal service warranties?
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Letters From the Inside
Ricardo Lara spent 19 years in Texas prisons. He got out the other day.
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Death Row Goes on a Hunger Strike
But does anyone care?
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Policing the Police
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National Features
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SF Weekly
The Candidate
Our columnist knows Ralph Nader's running mate all too well.
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The Pitch
How Not To Be a Rap Star
First of all, lay off the Ecstasy.
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Village Voice
Project Runaway
What becomes a gossip columnist most?
By Michael Musto
Larger Than Life
Anna Nicole Smith fights for a fortune as her past erupts
By Randall Patterson
Published: December 2, 1999Until about five years ago, there lived in this town at least one grasping old man with an enormous appetite for pretty young women. His name was J. Howard Marshall II, and for many years, he lived respectably, doing something dull with oil. At last, he diversified his interests. He is chiefly remembered today as a most astounding old lecher.
When he died, he left behind a grasping blond widow 62 years his junior, who had an enormous appetite for just about everything. Her name was Anna Nicole Smith. She was nearly six feet tall with blood-red nails and blood-red lips and a 42-inch double-D-cup chest. Her essential communication was "Feed me!" and she looked like the most god-awful Hollywood gold-digger predator of all time.
Her in-laws came forth and inquired about her appetite. Just what did she want? Oh, she was terribly hungry, she told them. She had lived on a diet of new cars and houses, jewels and cash. Her food bill alone was $4,000 a month. It was the least the old man could do for her. She had been very good to that old crustacean. She had satisfied his needs and had always been faithful, and in exchange she would like half of a billion dollars, please.
Anna Nicole Smith stomps again into the spotlight. Gossips say that Howard Marshall's wife, in addition to everything else, also consumed the nanny, the bodyguard, the driver, two actors and a director. Now comes the woman who's known obscurely in court documents as "The Potted Plant Lady." She has never spoken publicly of their affairs and feels like an idiot doing so now, she confesses. But also, it's kind of fun. East of Dallas, in a quiet apartment on Main Street in Winnsboro, Texas, Sandi Powledge reaches into a cupboard and withdraws her photo album.
Their love triangle, or octagon, or whatever it was, began circa the first implants, in the fall of 1991 in Houston. The old man's last topless dancer mistress had just died during a facelift, and he had discovered in her will another lover. Howard was suing her estate for every penny of all the millions he had given, when he was wheeled into another topless bar to meet another dancer. This one was even more stacked than that one. "I'll buy it!" he decided. And Anna "became Mr. Marshall's reason for living," the court papers say, "as well as the focus of his intense love, desire and considerable means."
If Anna was less committed, it was perhaps the inherent problem with the titty dancer commodity, or with any 23-year-old dating an octogenarian. Anyway, shortly after she met Howard, Anna sashayed into an unlovely gay-and-lesbian bar on Kuykendahl called the Hill. A current went through the darkness, Sandi remembers, "and all these old butch dyke girls began going, 'Oh! oh! oh!' and even the gay guys were saying, 'Oh, I could change my ways.' "
No one like Anna had ever been seen in that place. Sandi observed the frenzy from a distance. When she had fortified herself with tequila, she waded through the crush and asked Anna to dance.
They cut an odd figure on the floor -- Anna the Amazon image of abundance, and Sandi so much shorter, in baseball cap and sweatpants. They had both come of age in small towns. Anna had grown up on food stamps in a house without heat, stealing toilet paper from local restaurants. The experience had left Anna hungry, but Sandi was content making $6 an hour at the garden supply store. Sandi was warm and smart and funny and utterly without ambition. By the time their dance was over, she had sobered to the conclusion this big woman was out of her league. But when she let go, Anna held on.
Anna courted Sandi as men had courted her. Whenever she spotted Sandi at the Hill, she would send a drink. Later, she sent roses and plied her with gifts. For their first formal date, Anna picked Sandi up in a limousine. They ate at Del Frisco's Steak House and then dispatched to Anna's humble apartment. Their night together was marred by only two outbursts -- the first from Madison when Sandi kicked him out of bed, and the second from Anna, who squealed, "What did you do to my pig!"
Anna, thereafter, began showing how she could be all things to all people. During the day, she dined with Howard at the River Oaks Country Club, and at night Anna would do her thing with Sandi at the Hill. Such fun she was. Anna would laugh uncontrollably at jokes and then lean over and whisper, "What did that mean?" She flirted with everyone. Sandi began siccing her on exes. After writhing against a woman, Anna would ask, "How'd I do?" And Sandi would say, "Great! You crushed her!" Sandi grew secure with Anna, because at the end of the evening, they were always together. The owner recalled finding them entangled in the bathroom stall.
"It was nothing," said owner Ann Kellas. "Everyone does it."
For her 24th birthday, Howard gave Anna a Toyota Celica, in which she and Sandi had many a fine time. One afternoon in January 1992, they drove down to Stop N Go, where Anna laid a 12-pack on the counter and asked for the current issue of Playboy.











Dear Mr. Patterson:
Now that Anna is gone, are you going to write a follow up to this wonderful article? I liked Anna (I never knew her). I thought of her as Texas Trash with a heart of gold.
All the Houston and Dallas Society Ladies that despised Anna seem to forget that they themselves come from Texas Trash--only removed by three or four generations.
Comment by Dale A. Newberger — February 19, 2007 @ 08:43AM