Best Local Boy Gone Bad

If anyone wants to dent a squeaky-clean political image in the course of one evening, look no further than the unfortunate 39-year-old Bert Keller for pointers. First the councilman, who was already estranged from wife Susan, took off after an Astros game for the inner sanctum of Centerfolds topless bar on Richmond. There, he got an up-close and personal inspection of a city-regulated sexually oriented business, one whose employees were responsible enough to cut him off at the bar after it became apparent Keller was more than three sheets to the wind. Keller then headed out in a leased Ford Expedition and smacked into a parked truck near his bachelor pad off San Felipe. Compounding the mess, the barely coherent councilman then stumbled off into the night without waiting for the police and slept off the mother of all hangovers in seclusion. After coming to his senses, Keller played penitent, letting celebrity DWI attorney Rusty Hardin plead him out for a fine and community service.