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Spoiler Alert!

A handy infographic guide to the shelf life of fruit.

GROCERY GUIDE

Have you ever been really excited to get a sweet deal on a clamshell of raspberries, only to find that they're all but covered in mold three days later? We know; those things get ruined faster than a prom dress at a kegger. That's why you have to keep an eye on them; they're only good for two days at most.

And did you know that most fruits emit ethylene gas, which speeds the ripening process of any other fruits around them? That's why it's best to keep them separated, and that's why sticking things like bananas into paper bags will make them ripen faster: Less exposure to oxygen and more exposure to the constantly recirculating gases will turn a banana black in no time.

Here's our handy guide to storing fruits and remembering how long you have before that bushels of peaches you bought on sale will last. Cut it out and stick it on your fridge before you ruin another box of berries. And this is only the first in a five-part series; head to Eating...Our Words to check out our other helpful guides to vegetables, meats, dairy and dry goods.
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The Napoletano-style pizzas at Pizaro's are the best in town.
Katharine Shilcutt
The Napoletano-style pizzas at Pizaro's are the best in town.
The new beer (and wine) garden at Lucille's opens this week.
Courtesy of Lucille's
The new beer (and wine) garden at Lucille's opens this week.

NEWS

All Is Not Lost
5 Twinkie alternatives in case the worst comes to pass.

By John Gray

We've all heard about it by now: Hostess Brands company is shutting its doors, thanks to mismanagement, skyrocketing debt, poor restructuring, union difficulties...and yogurt.

Hostess's beloved treats, little slices of Americana which have been hawked by Spider-Man and used as a teaching tool by prominent para­psychologists, will soon be gone forever, it seems.

Twinkie hoarders and Twinkie scalpers have risen to prominence in the past few days as America loses its collective shit at the thought of the snack cakes disappearing forever, taking with them a piece of its childhood which can never be regained.

But there is still hope: Hostess management has entered into mediation with its more prominent unions, and total company liquidation has been put on hold for now. Even if the company does liquidate, the snack cakes are still profitable enough to be snatched up and reissued by another company — Mexico's Bimbo being the number one contender in many unconfirmed rumors.

But even if the worst happens and Hostess and its products disappear forever, you still won't need to blow your kids' college fund on black market goods. We've rounded up some perfectly acceptable Twinkie alternatives that aren't going anywhere any time soon.

5. Tastykake Krimpets

Formerly a treat only available in and around Philadelphia, Tastykakes have become available all over the country, including Houston — mostly in Fiestas and Walmarts. Just about every snack cake company has a Twinkie analog, but Tastykake spins theirs a bit differently; their Krimpets ape the original creme-filled sponge cake, yes, but they also offer variations in flavors unseen outside the company. Varieties include butterscotch, spice cake, and — our personal favorite — pancake-flavored Krimpets. You can order them online, too, just in case your dorm is running short on junk food for the upcoming X-Box party.

4. Marinela Submarinos

Marinela, a dessert-themed subsidiary of the famous hilariously-named Mexican company Bimbo, offers their Twinkie analog with strawberry-flavored creme instead of the traditional American vanilla. We're not sure why, but they're still pretty good. Fun fact: the sponge cakes are yellow, which technically makes them Submarinos Amarillos, en que, por supuesto, todos vivimos.

3. Zebra Cakes

These are basically iced Twinkies. They're pretty fantastic, and thanks to the time of year, they're now available in Christmas tree shapes, which are less confusing. You could spend all day deciding which of the standard hexagonal variety's corners to bite into first, but with the tree-shaped ones, you just start at the top and work your way down. It's the only time of year they're OCD-friendly.

2. Cloud Cakes

And if that's not your thing, you can always go for the other Little Debbie option on this list: the Cloud Cake. See, the Twinkie panic, aside from being ridiculous just for what it reveals about America's shameful food culture, was doubly unnecessary because Cloud Cakes are EXACTLY THE SAME. Oh hell, that did it. You're now going to see snack cake experts in the comments section who have never cooked a home-made meal in their lives claiming to have palates sophisticated enough to tell the difference between Twinkies and Cloud Cakes. Do not provoke these polyunsaturated connoisseurs. Pity them.

1. Red Velvet Bingles

These are just like Twinkies, but instead of sponge cake, they're made out of red velvet. That means they win. They win at everything.
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TOP 10

City Center
The 10 best restaurants in Memorial.

By Katharine Shilcutt

The last time we rounded up the ten best places to eat in Memorial was in 2009. CityCentre was still under construction and Memorial City Mall had just emerged from years of redevelopment to rival The Galleria as the city's best shopping center. The Memorial you see today is not the Memorial that I grew up in — a sleepy suburb where most of the restaurants were mom-and-pop places and where the neighborhood's best bar was owned by my high school English teacher.

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