George Lucas Strikes Back: A New Hope for Star Wars
Art Attack has this dream that sometime during the '80s and '90s, unknown persons or creatures with sinister motives began kidnapping the creators of our most beloved pop culture in order to replace them with doppelgangers hoping to ruin their legacies. Why? Couldn't tell you. Maybe Yoda's wisdom and the Moonwalk are the only weaknesses our future alien conquerors have. Maybe the demons of Jersey Shore can't inhabit the same reality as Axl Rose and the Ultimate Warrior so they removed the impediment.
Just a dream, but the Mike Litzenberg and Bridge Stuart at Slick Gigolo have come through on a new video that let's us live out that dream a little. Sometime after the release of Indiana Jones and the original Star Wars trilogy, George Lucas was abducted and held captive for 20 years while his double walked around urinating midichlorians all over the galaxy far, far away.
Like one of his own heroes, Lucas escapes and recruits a powerful band of rebels. Short Round, Princess Leia (Now a stripper, didn't see that one coming at all), and Chewie all join their former mentor in the cause. Together they mount an attack on all that is modern Hollywood.
We sat down with Litzenberg and Stuart to ask them a few questions about the short film.
Photo by Andrew Crighton
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Art Attack: What was the final sin of modern George Lucas filmmaking that inspired the video? What was the straw that broke the Bantha's back?
Mike Litzenberg: It was only recently that I saw Oldboy, and it was like a day later that I heard George Lucas was planning on converting all of the movies into 3D, and it was just kind of amazing to me to think that with all of the negative response to the way he has gone so overboard with gimmicky technological visuals, the man is doubling down. That and Jar Jar Binks.
AA: Naturally, Jar Jar Binks, but if Leia, Chewie, and all these other characters are real people who inhabit the same universe as George Lucas himself, then are the movies themselves documentaries?
Bridge Stuart: We just thought it would be fun to set the video in kind of a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? type of universe where the original characters would have as much anger about the way the franchise has been treated recently as George himself would.
AA: It turns out that the whole plot was masterminded by Mr. Spock of the Star Trek franchise. Could you walk us through the cold, Vulcan calculations that led to him initiating the kidnapping of Lucas?
ML: I think the twin peaks of American sci-fi are Star Trek and Star Wars. If something were to, let's say, happen to one or the other, then all of a sudden you don't have twin peaks, you have a peak - a massive, looming, "I-run-things" peak.
AA: Before they grab him, Lucas states that he wants to start making smaller, more personal films. What do you think he was dreaming of for his next project?
BS: I think it was going to be something very different from Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Maybe a comedy.
AA: Do you think it's possible any other filmmakers or artists have been replaced with crap doubles? If so, who?
ML: Oh, it's certainly possible. I think regular DNA testing in Hollywood wouldn't be entirely inappropriate. You have to wonder if something happened to Woody Allen in the late 90s, but thankfully, if you see Match Point and Midnight in Paris, I think he managed to strike back pretty successfully.
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