Willie D: "In terms of running for president, thanks, but no thanks."
Willie D: "In terms of running for president, thanks, but no thanks."
Photo by Jeff Fitlow

My Friend Likes Competing Against Me. Help!

Dear Willie D:

Help me understand why my friend thinks he has to compete with me in everything. We have been friends since tenth grade. In school, if I got my hair styled a certain way, he would do the identical. When I bought my car, he couldn't afford the same one, so he bought a cheaper model but he put the same kind of wheels on it that I had on my car.

They say imitation is the best form of flattery, but it seems like he's actually trying to be me. Also, back in high school we dated the same girl, but I dated her first. How can I address this issue with him without pissing him off?

Competing Friend:

Have you ever stopped to think that your friend looks up to you? He probably isn't as creative as you are, so in his mind it's easier to just copy what you do. Paint your house pink with water-color paint and invite him over. After he paints his house pink, invite him over again. When he drives up, pull out your water hose and spray it off.

LONGTIME FAN

Dear Willie D:

Say man, longtime fan! Been a Willie D fan since '91. Bigger fan now. In fact, much respect for your work. Man, you have to run for president! Willie D and Jesse Ventura 2020!

Longtime Fan

I appreciate the day one support, but in terms of running for president, thanks, but no thanks. You have to do the devil's work not to get a bullet in your head.

MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO GET MARRIED WHEN WE'RE ALREADY COMMON-LAW MARRIED

Dear Willie D:

My girlfriend and I have been together for six years. Everything had been going good until this year. Three friends of hers got married recently, and I think it has caused her to wonder what it might be like to experience the whole thing herself. But I think she is more interested in the ritual of planning, walking down the aisle, and being the center of attention than the actual sanctity of marriage.

I say that because we already have a great life together. I know that after you've dated someone as long as we've dated, and to be in our thirties, being technically boyfriend and girlfriend can sound a bit juvenile. That's why I always refer to her as my wife to my friends, family, and coworkers. In fact, where I live the law recognizes us as common-law man and wife. If we're already getting along, and consider ourselves to be common-law married, what's the point of going through an expensive wedding and wasting money just to be seen?

Common-Law Man:

It's hard for a woman to see her friends get married while she watches from the sidelines. Plus, her biological clock ticking is usually in the back of her mind. If you don't want to get married, tell your girlfriend how you feel. Talk to her and reassure her that you love her, and she is the only woman you want to be with.

This sounds like something she really wants, so if you take that route, be prepared for her to walk. Six years is plenty of time to observe and evaluate another person in terms of a potential spouse; however, if you're not ready, you're not ready.

Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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