Goin' Postal

In selecting the briefly fresh but now commonplace catchphrase as its name, local blues-rock trio Goin’ Postal did right. While this moniker might make the postmaster general cringe, it’s just a limp cliché to everyone else.

True enough, the group’s rough-edged sound is bombastic — but only in an overwrought fashion that lacks wit or originality. This 13-track set, composed almost exclusively of 12-bar/three-chord exercises, is ultimately about as exciting as, well, going to the post office. This, despite the fact that — or maybe because of it — the CD features pretentiously snarled vocals, throbbing bass, drums and lots of conventional noodling on electric guitar.

Likewise, the songwriting (12 cuts by bassist/producer Norman Pennington and one lone instrumental by guitarist Josh Post) is numbingly predictable. The lyrics offer little more than bonehead male posturings over failed relationships. Sample: “Been outside the law since day one / Like to drink my whisky / Like to have my fun / I put you down / Lord, I put you down” (from — you guessed it — “I Put You Down”). With additional titles such as “No More,” “Good Day for a Heartbreak,” “Time to Move On,” “Things Got to Change,” “Hurt Me Deep” and so on, this album is thematically unified to a fault.

The singing, presumably by Pennington (the liner notes are vague), is consistently gruff, husky and as unconvincing as the songwriting. In fact, arguably the most melodic and effective track is the instrumental “Blow Job,” which despite the fact that it so obviously radiates the influence of Jimi Hendrix still shows promise for 18-year-old guitar ace-in-the-making Post.

The most surprising element of this album is found not in the music but inside the CD booklet. Among the usual band photos, song list and thank-yous there appears a minuscule reproduction (source unacknowledged) of a printed tribute to the late Clifton Smith (1928-1985), a former journalist, radio DJ and TV host still fondly remembered as “King Bee” by many in Houston’s middle-aged to elderly African-American community. The whole thing — comprising an old publicity photo and several paragraphs of text — is reduced to postage-stamp size, making it almost impossible to read.

This tiny memorial suggests that the name of the band’s label, King B Music, was somehow inspired by memories of this legendary black media figure — which seems exceedingly strange. After all, the original “King Bee” is most famous for having spun classic R&B records at KCOH during the ’50s and ’60s. So given Goin’ Postal’s race (exclusively Caucasian), relative youth (the oldest-looking guy might be pushing 40), the album’s gangsta rap graphics and unfortunate deficiency of soulful musicality, the implied connection baffled me.

I was even more baffled when, under minute scrutiny, the CD’s cover art revealed that Goin’ Postal is signed to a label run by Larry and Demetria Parker, the son-in-law and daughter of the late King Bee.