There have been some pretty serious “we can do it” type of sermons going on over the past two weeks. Starting with the Republican’s “We Built It” (not this city on rock and roll, mind you) to the DNC’s driving directions slogan, both parties are doing their darndest to get people psyched about the fact that this never-ending election has just begun.

The speeches of Romney, Clinton, Obama, Ryan, Biden, Rice and the various other political figures who lent their orations to the two parties’ primetime specials can be boiled down to basically one word: CHARGE! Except for Clint Eastwood, his speech should just be boiled because it’s easier for old people to eat soft foods.

The Republicans and the Democrats probably have speechwriters for their speechwriters, trained in the art of discourse from the top universities in the country, but when we are talking about a “let’s do this, bitches” type of speech, no one writes them better than Hollywood.

Guys, take some cues from the best motivational speeches ever written.

8. CluelessThat’s how you do it. Take a topic, turn it around, make it about something completely different and then end with an uplifting pitch about bipartisanship.

7. Animal HouseThis speech may be more applicable after November 6 for whoever the losing party is. No doubt that after “it’s not over until it’s over” is decried, the next word will be “recount.”

6. The GooniesWhy has neither of the political parties stolen the rousing line, “It’s our time,” that Mikey (Sean Astin) from The Goonies gives his comrades when they want to abandon ship? There is swelling music in this scene! Candidates, I implore you to try this one out; it has to be better than “Forward.”

5. Pulp FictionThe candidates can name-drop God all they like, they will never be able to use the Lord’s name to scare anyone into submission like Samuel L. Jackson does in Pulp Fiction. 4. A League of Their OwnThere’s no crying at the Republican National Convention, Scott Walker!

3. The Princess Bride This is exactly the speech the Republicans need to pull from. It’s simple, direct, effective and hell is it quotable. “Hello. Our name is the Republican Party. You took our White House. Prepare to die.”

2. RoadhouseWhy hire expensive advisers and campaign managers? The only code of ethics that the president and Romney need to be following come directly from Swayze’s “three simple rules” Roadhouse lecture.

1. Never underestimate that your opponent will try and see your tax returns. 2. Take it outside. Never get caught doing anything that can be used as a sound bite on every major news network and shared on the world’s Facebook page. 3. Be nice.

Number 3 is the hardest.

1. Harold and Kumar Go To White CastleKumar’s stirring diatribe about burgers and hunger and American dreams might as well be any of the speeches given over the past two weeks, except his is inspiring.

This article appears in Sep 6-12, 2012.