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Pete Vonder Haar

Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.

@PeterVonderHaar

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Latest Articles

Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse

By Pete Vonder Haar
Jun 2, 2023

Title: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Describe This Movie In One Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Quote: RON: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies?" Brief Plot Synopsis: Arachnid army assembles, aims are ambiguous. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 4 Banksies out of 5. Tagline: N/A Better Tagline: "He...
Reviews For The Easily Distracted:
The Boogeyman

By Pete Vonder Haar
Jun 2, 2023

Title: The Boogeyman Describe This Movie In One Simpsons Quote: HOMER: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house! Brief Plot Synopsis: For once, a kid isn't lying about monsters under the bed. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 2.5 Wayne Gretzkys...
The Sisters Of Mercy Turn Bayou Music Center Into A Temple Of...Love?

By Pete Vonder Haar
May 27, 2023

The Sisters of Mercy Bayou Music Center May 26, 2023 My most enduring memory of the Sisters of Mercy (the late '80s/early '90s were kind of hazy) is listening to Floodland on cassette during a trip from Austin to Houston with my sophomore girlfriend. It was an overcast day, intermittently rainy,...
Reviews For The Easily Distracted:
The Little Mermaid

By Pete Vonder Haar
May 26, 2023

Title: The Little Mermaid Describe This Movie In One Peacemaker Quote: ADEBAYO: If we have a kid, I'd like to name her Octopussy. And if it's a boy, Sharknado. Brief Plot Synopsis: Boy meets mermaid, boy loses mermaid, mermaid gets legs, boy gets legged mermaid. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To...
Take Advantage Of The Press's 2023 Summer Movie Preview While There Are Still Movies To Watch

By Pete Vonder Haar
May 25, 2023

After an extended period of serious concern over the possibly lingering effect the COVID pandemic had on global box office, things finally started to turn around last year. Much credit was given to Top Gun: Maverick for "saving" the theater-going experience, but James Cameron, the MCU, and those little yellow lima...