Finding the Write Candidate
“Okay, one last time: M-X-Y-Z…” Now that noted judicial activist Antonin Scalia has torpedoed the state GOP’s efforts to replace Tom DeLay on the ballot this fall, the Republicans say they will pick one individual who will run as a write-in candidate. (Sugar Land mayor David Wallace has already tossed…
A Buncha Bull
Houston Humane Society The dogs had a choice of lying in a hot barrel or standing in flithy water. Lucky them. We’ve received a few terse e-mails about Monday’s short post on the Chron’s pit bull story. (Pit bulls are the spotlight on the paper’s home page.) They all point…
Natalie He Ain’t
NBC/Today Show Felicia and Eric messed around with gender roles. So, I made sure to catch the Today show this morning, where a Houston couple, Felicia and Eric, are competing in “Today Throws a Wedding.” Felicia is an assistant district attorney in Galveston, and Eric’s a business systems analyst for…
HouStoned Theatre Presents…
HPD “Anyone hear surf guitar? Just me?” And now, HouStoned Theatre presents a Quentin Tarantino-inspired dramatization of today’s Chron story of an alleged thief — a thief who has preyed upon local 99 Cent stores (up to 30 of them, in fact, say police). Curtain up, lights aaaaaaaaaaand… action: (Thief,…
The Mens, He Can Throw
Apropos of nothing, other than this little gem making the rounds on the internets, we offer up the funniest video to ever feature Katy High School and Sacha Baron Cohen’s crazy Kazakhstan newsman, Borat. Watch as Borat tells head coach Gary Joseph he can throw a rock 15 meters to…
That’s Rich
“Bring me the one they call ‘Connelly’!” Looks like the folks at LoneStarTimes heard our shout into the wilderness: They’ve posted the badass pic of our own Richard Connelly at Abu Ghraib. Sure, we could nitpick — Connelly’s much better groomed than his likeness would suggest. But we couldn’t be…
Moon ‘Em All
Everybody else knows that Warren’s No. 1. Watching Warren Moon’s acceptance speech during Saturday’s NFL Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, I had a flashback. It was December 1990, and my friends and I were at 59 Diner getting food to go. The Houston Oilers were playing the Kansas City Chiefs…
Death Becomes Them?
“Worried? Why? They said we all have a good shot.” The Chron reports today that 300 pit bulls have been seized from a Liberty County residence. Some of the dawgs — suspected to be part of a large dogfighting ring — were left in outdoor kennels. Thomas Weigner, the owner…
Bust a ‘nut
Photos by Robb Walsh Coco Frio in Rio. Looking for a refreshing lunch sipper? Drop that Fanta. Step away from the Pabst. Food critic Robb Walsh has a treat for you — and you don’t have to worry about those pesky cans… Cold coconuts are cheaper than bottled water in…
Bust a ‘nut
Photos by Robb Walsh Coco Frio in Rio. Looking for a refreshing lunch sipper? Drop that Fanta. Step away from the Pabst. Food critic Robb Walsh has a treat for you — and you don’t have to worry about those pesky cans… Cold coconuts are cheaper than bottled water in…
Don’t Bring that S*** to H-town!
Courtesy of VH-1/TMZ And remember, God’s got homegirl’s (right) back, too… Oh snap, boyyyyyyy!!! Flavor of Love returned to TV last night, and the first episode was as glorious as glorious can be. It had a catfight in the first 20 minutes, mad trash-talking and then finished with a contestant…
Getting Down Right Here and Now
Amitava Sarkar We don’t even have to ask. Probably the only reason there aren’t any Houston finalists in So You Think You Can Dance is because the show’s producers didn’t make it to Houston for auditions, Dance Houston director Andrea Cody says. But they should. ‘Cause we’ve got extraordinary dancers…
Hand Jive
We’re guessing Sophie didn’t have much choice in the matter. Speaking of interesting doctors (editor’s note: Um, that was so yesterday), ex-hand surgeon Michael Brown has started rebroadcasting a five-year-old commercial for his Hand Center in Houston. You may have seen it — the one where the nattily attired doc…
Flash Back
This photo would look great on his MySpace profile. Our favorite former right-wing radio host/testicle-flasher is back in the news again. Seems former KSEV host Jon Matthews tested positive for alcohol and got caught discussing sexual fantasies on the Internet. This violates the probation he received for a 2003 incident…
What a Champ
K-Otix Paul Wall and friends Like we said back in last September, Paul Wall lives up to his nickname of “The People’s Champ.” Not only was he in attendance at our Music Awards ceremony last night, but he hung around long after he collected his award for Best Major Label…
Re: Fwd: Big News
Today in unintentionally funny subject lines, this little gem rolled into our mailbox from the Texas Democratic Party: In the Press: TX Dems have a Good Day Nice. Only 94 soul-crushing, bad days until Nov. 7. — Ray Hafner…
Smoking Grass
Perhaps the answer’s blowin’ in the wind. Here at the Press most of us are writers. We are deeply passionate about things like gerunds, the serial comma and would never try to purposely split our infinitives. Oops! Most people are not. In fact, most people really hate it when we…
Jumbo Flapjack Stack
Julia Walsh That’s a flap, Jack. And now for another installment of “What’s in Robb’s Refrigerator?” where we ask food critic Robb Walsh what’s growing in his Sub-Zero: This is what’s left of a stack of pancakes I ordered at Kelley’s Country Cooking. By cutting what was left of a…
Jumbo Flapjack Stack
Julia Walsh That’s a flap, Jack. And now for another installment of “What’s in Robb’s Refrigerator?” where we ask food critic Robb Walsh what’s growing in his Sub-Zero: This is what’s left of a stack of pancakes I ordered at Kelley’s Country Cooking. By cutting what was left of a…
Tale of Two Cities
Metro is going around to public hearings giving slide shows on its proposed solutions to the alleged problem of Houston not having enough light rail. Houston voters, of course, passed a referendum approving a massive expansion of the system; what Houston voters didn’t do was read the fine print. That…
That’s Hotze
Ray Hafner We can’t quite put our finger on it, but something seems shady… So I was just strolling through the Galleria last weekend to pick up some shoes and a Chinese herbal tea infusion set when I spotted this three-story banner ad for the Hotze Health and Wellness Center…
What’s Unacceptable?
But will it be an endless summer? Houston Independent School District Superintendent Abe Saavedra is experiencing an increasingly bumpy ride with his trustees and parents. You know it’s serious when people are willing to stand out in the hot summer sun to carp. Wednesday that included HISD trustee Kevin Hoffman…
Brujeria
Okay, with songs like “Matando Gueros/Killing White Guys” and CD covers that feature severed heads, it makes sense that this hardcore death metal band’s members wear disguises for their publicity photos and use aliases such as Fantasma (Ghost) and Juan Brujo (John Warlock). They don’t want to give the Mexican…
Letters to the Editor
Paddling the Ship Channel Awestruck: I am in awe of the dangerous task that canoeist Tom Helm, photographer Daniel Kramer and writer Josh Harkinson took on to do this article [“Dark Water,” July 20]. As a retired employee of the chemical industry, I have always had an interest in what…
Hitting the Highway
Called a “Mexican Thelma and Louise” by the Web site Ozus’ World Movie Reviews, Sin Dejar Huella (“Without a Trace”) is a road movie about two women on the run, traveling across Mexico on a whirlwind journey of discovery and disappointment. Winner of the Best Latin American Film award at…
Show, Don’t Tell
For two years, www.houstonitsworthit.com has invited us to give reasons why, despite the heat, humidity and hurricane risk, Houston is worth calling home. Some are shout-outs to favorite bars and restaurants, some are sentimental (“It’s an international city with the heart of a small town”), and some are snarky (“I…
All That Remains
Although the second album from All That Remains is a step up the evolutionary ladder, The Fall of Ideals suggests that one of indie metal’s most promising bands has reached a stalemate in terms of, well, ideas. Musically, the act has progressed nicely from the singular brashness of its 2004…
Image of the Week
When your Mohawk features a bald spot the size of Crater Lake, it really is time to reconsider just how high your coolness factor may be. This guy, attending the recent Reliant Park World Series of Dog Shows, obviously has yet to get the message. Click here to enlarge…
A Poor Plan
While film buffs cried blasphemy when media mogul Ted Turner announced plans to colorize Citizen Kane, underground film fans cheered when Legend Films colorized Plan 9 from Outer Space. Director “Ed Wood’s cheap set designs look even worse,” gushed one poster on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 message board. This…
Apple Cider
It’s early on a Saturday evening, and we’re drinking apple cider shots at Live Sports Cafe (407 Main, 713-228-5483) when a man in an Eagles jersey and a Longhorns hat sits down next to me and introduces himself. His name is Terrance, and he works for the Ringling Bros. and…
El Presidente
The Glasgow-based quintet El Presidente has one rule: There are no rules. Drawing from Prince and the Beach Boys, Dr. Dre and Barbra Streisand, the group somehow managed to get the right balance of fun, funk and flash on their self-titled debut CD. Front man Dante Gizzi used to have…
Pool Party
“I think that between the four of us there’s a kind of unspoken guilt, really, that we’re lucky enough to be able to do this for a living where many of our friends have to really struggle from day to day.” Matt Tong, drummer for the UK nouveau-post-punk sensation Bloc…
Produce Aisle Playlist
You probably heard Duncan Sheik every time you shopped for groceries in 1997. The Peter Gabriel-ish singer-songwriter’s unavoidable lite-pop single “Barely Breathing” became the Broadcast Music Incorporated-certified “Most Played Song of the Year.” Although he hasn’t scored another hit, Sheik has remained hard at work – recording four subsequent albums,…
Super Seafood Salad
The insalata di mare ($9.95) at Ciro’s Italian Grill (9755 Katy Freeway, 713-467-9336) is a refreshing, filling salad that’s good for splitting in two. To make the dish, Boston lettuce leaves are cut into rectangles, then stacked in the center of the plate along with sweet basil leaves and tomato…
Gil Evans
Without Miles Ahead, there might not have been New Bottle, Old Bottle and Great Jazz Standards, the Gil Evans LPs from ’58 and ’59 combined here. Evans’s first LP collaboration with Miles Davis made him an unlikely star, the first arranger to gain public recognition without separate standing as a…
The Got-It-Good Blues
Houston blues musician Tony Vega knows all about being better known in Europe than he is here at home. “It’s always like that, isn’t it?” he says with a laugh. “The thing about playing at home is that these people saw us grow up. From when we were terrible and…
Freeze Frames
If the logic behind the “Dag! That’s Cold!” film show is correct, How to Drive on Snow and Ice could be the instructional video that saves your life despite — or perhaps because of — the August heat. It’s unlikely that deadly snow drifts will develop on I-10, but “Dag!…
Slow Motion Reign
Slow Motion Reign makes a lot of noise for being just four guys, but these are four pretty talented guys. Especially front man Narek Pogosyan, who not only sings but also plays bass, piano and organ and wrote all 12 songs on the CD; guitarist Sam Babayan has co-writer/co-lead vocal…
More Fun than a Barrel of Monkeys
Allen Hill, the High Priest of the Oldies, has the best take on Sunday night’s Music Awards showcase. He’s in his tux, red-faced and sweating after his gig, when he delivers it to me on Main near the Preston light rail stop. “If you only go out to hear live…
Roses on Your Grave
“Rock Is Dead” is a trademark song from the Houston-based gloom-glam-punk band Dead Roses. Are they implying rock music no longer has a pulse (as exemplified by that My Chemical Romance guy and AFI’s Davey Havok), or that rock music is running rampant with soulless, microphone-wielding zombies (as also exemplified…
Crash Test Dummy
There is no modern-day antecedent to the movies Will Ferrell makes with writer-director Adam McKay, with whom Ferrell collaborated during their tenure at Saturday Night Live only a few years ago. To compare their offerings, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and the new Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky…
The Dean Is Risen
If Dean Martin had been alive to celebrate his 89th birthday this year, he might have dropped his Titleist on the green in the hazy morning, then slipped into the dimmest booth of some Hollywood time-capsule steak house for dinner. He might have watched TV all day, hour after hour…
Spaced Out
There should be a good explanation why a band warrants a full sentence for its name, and Eric Elbogen of Say Hi to Your Mom has a doozy. “I was abducted by aliens,” Elbogen told the online magazine In Music We Trust. “And as I was about to be beamed…
Absolutely Fabulist
What’s the difference between a good liar and a good storyteller? The answer, or the lack of an answer, is a mystery at the heart of The Night Listener, a muted psychological thriller adapted from the Armistead Maupin novel. A writer’s elaborate what-if scenario extrapolated from an anecdote, it’s presented…
The Yellowjackets
Avoiding both the complexity-for-its-own-sake trap of late-period fusion and the oleaginous makeout music clichs of smooth jazz, the Yellowjackets have endured and prospered by making smart electric jazz that’s substantive enough to reward repeat listens, yet still accessible to casual listeners. Originally formed in 1977 to back up guitarist Robben…
Clean Linen
We’re skeptical of white linen. It wrinkles easily and stains even more easily. But the Heights’ White Linen Night makes us want to reconsider. Tonight, Heights art galleries, shops and eateries are encouraging patrons to don their crispest and coolest whites to return Houston’s art ‘hood to a more genteel…
Downward Mobility
The old Lucas/Spielberg stunt of turning B-movie peekaboos into E-ticket thrill rides remains the industry standard — to the virtual exclusion of other multiplex fare, particularly when school’s out. But as not every kid who remade Raiders in Super 8 either gave up the dream or morphed into Michael Bay,…
Family Values Tour
The Deftones have a hard time sitting still — at least that’s what guitarist Stephen Carpenter says. After years of almost nonstop touring, the five-piece hard rock band has forgotten how to live like regular civilians. So, jumping on the Family Values Tour seemed natural. Especially since the Deftones’ friends,…
Beating the Traffic
“There are hundreds of thousands of immigrants each year that are trafficked and end up being held against their will as captive slaves,” says Staci Davis, co-host of KPFT’s “uncompromisingly liberal” talk program The Other Side. “And a lot of them are getting trafficked here to Houston.” “We want to…
Magic and Death
One of the sweetest lines Shakespeare ever wrote comes from The Tempest, a romance that takes place on an enchanted island rich with spirits, monsters and young lusty love. The line comes toward the end of the story, when Prospero, the central character who learns the simple virtues of forgiveness…
Dave Doobinin
Singer-songwriter Dave Doobinin has just put out his fourth independent release, One Station Away, a mix of alternative tunes with rock overtones and a decidedly radio-friendly feel. The Brooklyn-based Doobinin worked with producer Billy White, who was nominated for an Austin Music Award in 1999 for his work with singer…
Spiraling into Motion
The costumes of the Indian musical troupe Rudrakshya may feature vibrant oranges, reds, purples and golds, but their movement is more colorful still. You know those famed Indian religious paintings that work arms, legs and bodies into fans, swirls and starbursts? Rudrakshya brings them to life, with an ornate appearance…
Capsule Reviews
Black Comedy The Alley Theatre’s Summer Chills season is supposed to provide Houstonians breezy, easy shows that will distract us from the dreadful Gulf Coast heat. Happily, that’s exactly what Peter Shaffer’s Black Comedy does. An English farce written in the ’60s, the amusing popsicle of a one-act features a…
Trail of Tears
Publisher: 2K Games
Platform: Xbox 360, PC
Price: $59.99
ESRB Rating: M (for Mature)
Score: 6 (out of 10)
Curb Your Withdrawal
Summertime in Houston is the prime season for a little-known condition called “Opera withdrawal syndrome.” Sweltering heat, bad pop songs and Houston Grand Opera’s off-season all combine to cause the shakes, extreme boredom and nighttime outbursts of Madame Butterfly highlights. Fortunately, the Houston Ebony Opera Guild can ease the pain…
Howie Wowie
Howard Sherman’s work is all over the place. Happy, violent, dark, bright, expressive, figurative, abstract, narrative — these are the contradictions that run throughout his latest round of paintings, on view at McMurtrey Gallery in “Venti Americano.” Bad call center employee (all works 2006) is full of red and rage…
Beer and Porn
We knew someone who was a hard-core regular at Rudyard’s, and he once told us a sad tale. One day he needed some cigs, so he went next door to that nondescript convenience store that’s been there forever. And as he walked in, he stumbled into another hard-core Rudz regular,…
Sketchy Characters
The comedy sketch troupe Übertoast knows that its humor can be über-offensive. “Oh, yeah, we’ve had people walk out,” say troupe member Joseph Milillo. “In particular, one of our group member’s mother is really offended by us and won’t even baby-sit his kids when he performs.” Yikes! Sketch topics range…
Capsule Reviews
“Frank Stella – 1958” So here’s a painter who became one of the leading lights of minimalism in painting in the ’60s, one of the real names of the art world for the last half of the 20th century. A grad student and museum curator together track down a batch…
Chicken-Fried Breakfast
There were half a dozen cop cars and at least a dozen motorcycles, most of them Harley-Davidsons, in the parking lot of Kelley’s Country Cooking on the Saturday morning of my first visit. I walked in the front door of the restaurant half expecting to see a major bust in…
Believe the HYPE
Mention the words “teen talent” and most people will groan as they imagine would-be Britneys and H-Duffs lined up to embarrass themselves on national television à la American Idol. Yet Oscar Wilde and Agatha Christie were teenagers once, and bearing that in mind, the Alley Theatre’s Houston Young Playwrights Exchange…
Am I Wrong to Laugh at Nacho Libre?
Dear Mexican, I’m a culturally sensitive, PC Asian-American who laughed my head off at Jack Black’s imitation of a Mexican in Nacho Libre. Is this wrong? Vietnammy Mammy Dear Chinita, Wrong? Of course not. While Latino activists weep and moan about how gabachos like Jack Black reduce Mexicans to stock…
Film First Thursdays at Dean’s Credit Clothing
Tired of the rush and crush of megaplex cinemas? Tired of seeing the same formulaic drivel that Hollywood coughs up? Then hit Dean’s Credit Clothing’s Film First Thursdays; at today’s event, indie director Ya’Ke Smith will screen three of his dramatic shorts and then take your questions. If you don’t…
Nailed It
So you think you can paint? What if your canvas were merely a teeny, tiny human fingernail? Yeah, that’s what we thought, punk. Popularized by Olympic gold medal-winning sprinter and nail connoisseur Florence “Flo-Jo” Joyner (RIP) in the ’80s, the technically intense art of nail design is now more popular…
Shut Up, Already
V for Vendetta (Warner Bros.) Illustrator David Lloyd calls this adaptation of the comic he made with writer Alan Moore “very good” — so why did Moore beg to have his name removed? The intentions are noble, sure; name another big-studio blockbuster in which a government manufactures fear to keep…
A Strong Resolve
The campy, retro album covers of Goleta, California’s Lagwagon always betrayed the smart punk rock within. The band writes about lost love, forlorn disappointment and unanswered questions in a way that’s emotionally up front without being self-indulgent (a rare feat in the emo age). But Lagwagon didn’t even try to…
Complex Oedipus
It’s easy to see why the ill-fated King Oedipus was a favorite plaything of the gods. Though most people would jump off a bridge once the whole you’ll-kill-your-father-and-marry-your-mother prophecy came true, Oedipus didn’t budge. And when he could no longer fight the gods’ thwarting, his sons/half-brothers, daughters/half-sisters and other incestuously…
Our top DVD picks for the week of August 1.
Beavis & Butt-head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume 3 (Paramount) Blind Beast vs. Killer Dwarf (Panik House) Broken Saints: The Animated Comic Epic (Fox) Dallas: The Complete Fifth Season (Warner Bros.) Elvis: ’68 Comeback (BMG Heritage) A Fish Called Wanda: Deluxe Edition (MGM) Girls Next Door (Fox) The Graduate (MGM)…
Something Phishy
Granted, they hail from British Columbia instead of New England, their debut was released in 2006, not 1988, and they have a slightly rougher edge, but the Vancouver rockers of Ladyhawk have some eerie similarities to jam band legends Phish. Ladyhawk’s blog perpetually describes their mood as “high,” but more…
Bring the Noise
We’re proud that Houston rap is enjoying its place in the national mainstream. But the Gulf Coast heavy metal scene is unfortunately still seeded deep within the local landscape, despite the fact that it’s been going strong since the ´90s and many European metal fans have taken notice. At today’s…
Without a Trace
The old man died slumped over the arm of his couch while watching television. Two weeks later the cops kicked in the door and the coroner removed his body. He was a man of letters: Wittgenstein, Russell and Kierkegaard lined his shelves. He had a fondness for simple landscapes, or…
And He Also Sings
Ted Nugent is one of those celebrities who’s famous because he’s famous. More than for any of the bestial rocker’s songs, he’s known for claiming that there would be less gun violence in schools if all students were armed with…guns, for calling for the carpet-bombing of every troublesome country despite…
Are You Ready for Some Fútbol?
If you’ve got a bit of residual World Cup fever, pick up a bottle of Moretti beer to wash down a double dose of soccer action with a special double-header of the world’s most popular sport (sorry, NFL players, NASCAR drivers and synchronized swimmers). First, Houston’s newest sports team, the…