The Osteen Trial: All Over But The Shouting
The world’s most ridiculous trial continued today with two dynamo attorneys displaying radically different styles: Rusty Hardin, representing defendant Victoria Osteen, chose to impeach the plaintiff on the stand by presenting factual evidence that contradicted her claims, and by generally highlighting how prima facie foolish Sharon Brown’s claims are. Playing…
NASA’s New Moon Rocket Questioned Again
We mentioned a while back that there are reports that the astronaut corps at NASA doesn’t seem too thrilled with possible corner-cutting on the safety features of the developing Ares rocket, planned for use in the Constellation moon missions. The 2007 edition of the annual report by the Aerospace Advisory…
Rafer Alston Arrested for Drunk Driving
Hey, Rusty, I know you’re a bit busy at the moment, what with helping that saintly Victoria Osteen escape from charges of being one of those first class a-holes we all see on every flight. And when you’re done with her, I know that you have to get back to…
Chronicle, San Antonio Paper May Share “Generic” Features
You know what this town needs? A lot of generic feature stories in the daily newspaper. Editor & Publisher magazine is reporting that the Houston Chronicle and the San Antonio Express-News, both owned by Hearst Newspapers, “are in talks to share some feature-section production and design efforts, according to Chronicle…
Ticketed For Cursing In Public — WTF? (Updated)
WTF is going on in La Marque? A woman shopping at a Wal-Mart, frustrated that the store didn’t have the batteries she needed as Tropical Storm Edouard loomed offshore, turned to her mother and said “They don’t have any fucking more.” She was handcuffed and given a citation. We’d never…
The Osteen Trial: Finally, The Beatdown
It was not a good morning for Continental flight attendant Sharon Brown, in her quixotic quest to get a measly 10 percent of Victoria Osteen’s net worth. But that’s the kind of thing to expect when you’ve filed an idiotic lawsuit against someone who hires Rusty Hardin as their attorney…
Houston Texans Cheerleaders in Bikinis
Hey readers, I don’t know how long this is going to last, but if you head over to the Chron homepage, you’ll find a nice photo of a scantily clad Texans cheerleader as she prepares for the Texans Cheerleaders Swimsuit calendar. The Chron is even nice enough to provide several…
Bela Karolyi and Ugly Seven Year Olds: More Notes from the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing
Before getting to the latest of the controversies arising from Beijing, let’s give props to Katy’s Glenn Heller who, yesterday, won the gold medal in the double trap shooting competition. Congratulations, Glenn, and way to hang in with the sport after your setbacks in 2000 and 2004. While that was…
Artist of the Week: Liz Dannemiller
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com. For some reason, our wife left us last…
What’s In That Bottled Water You’re Drinking?
Sure, city officials say Houston’s tap water is safe to drink, but do you really believe them? And even if it is safe, why does it occasionally look or taste a bit off? Why do some people seem to prefer bottled water, saying it tastes a little crisper, maybe even…
Great — Pro-Rapists Are Commenting Away
Yeah, yeah — the internet is a wild-west world where there are no rules, where anonymity lets pseudo-tough guys act like macho jocks. Still, sometimes you want to make it clear that some commenters are idiots. Yesterday we wrote about Jamie Leigh Jones, a former KBR employee who claims she…
Next Week: Bun B for Free at Warehouse Live
Fresh off UGK’s multiple wins at Monday’s Ozone Awards, Bun B is all set to take a victory lap a week from tonight at Warehouse Live. Sponsored by Scion, the hip-hop promoters posing as a car company, the show is free, but first come first serve – follow this link…
Houston’s Light Rail Not Good Enough For Baltimore
There’s a bit of a brouhaha up in Baltimore, as some government bureaucracy — no one really knows for sure — is offering to pay for journalists and bloggers to take free trips to cities with shiny new mass-transit rail systems, and then write glowingly about them. They’re not interested…
Astros-Giants: Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, People
Wow, I switched over to NBC to watch the Olympics when the Giants were beating the Astros 3-2 and Tim Lincecum was dominating the Houston batters. I turned back an hour or so later, and the Astros have just won the game 12-4. So what the hell happened? Well, the…
Tonight: Old Farts Early Show at the Mink
If it’s too late, you’re too old. Luckily the Mink, Ben Murphy and adr understand. The trio behind such rockin’ parties as the Hootenanny and Twotenanny are putting together the Old Farts Show, a monthly series (hopefully) featuring local bands at a geezer-friendly hour. “Houston is known for many things,…
Homeland Security May Scroll Through Your Online Porn
Cross over the border from Mexico into America, and you might get your computer inspected. Not just be told to turn it on, to make sure it isn’t a dummy secretly carrying three pounds of anthrax, but to turn it over to authorities to let them scroll through what you…
Beer News: Saint Arnold Goes Downtown
Saint Arnold’s Brock Wagner Brock Wagner, the founder of Saint Arnold Brewing Company, was looking over the blueprints of the brewery’s new downtown headquarters when I stopped by to visit last week. Saint Arnold’s bought the former HISD food service headquarters at 2000 Lyons Avenue, just north of I-10. The…
Why Do the “Car Talk” Guys Have a Cartoon and I Don’t?
In theory, “Car Talk” is a good radio show. Notice I said, “in theory.” Not knowing anything about cars, I would love to be able to turn on the radio and listen to some knowledgeable mechanics as they inform me about the basics of car maintenance and troubleshooting. In theory,…
Virtual School Computers: HISD At Home
Can’t pry your kid off the computer long enough to get him to school? Well, actually, you don’t have to. Enroll your computer geek in HISD’s Virtual School, which is run completely online. Started under then Superintendent Rod Paige in 2000, Virtual School follows the regular HISD calendar and offers…
Texas Road Food: Crabs in Nederland and Houston
Sartin’s Seafood, home of the state’s most famous barbecued crabs…
The Osteen Trial: Wherefore The Shark?
Although not explicitly stating he wanted to recreate a scene from the 1975 classic Switchblade Sisters, Rusty Hardin today had Victoria Osteen and Sharon Brown stand beside each other so the jury could compare their height and weight. Hardin claimed this was so jurors could better visualize the kind of…
Has The Legendary Chupacabra Been Found?
Whoo-hoo, Texas has video of the Chupacabra! And it’s coming at you from a Dewitt County deputy-in-training who filmed the animal near Cuero, the site of multiple chupacabra sightings, so you know it’s true. Cpl. Brandon Riedel told CNN he was patrolling back roads last week when he ran into…
CNN To Open A News Bureau In Houston
Houston, we’re big-time. Well, at least as big-time as Columbus, Ohio. CNN has made the somewhat surprising announcement that they’ll be opening a bunch of new bureaus around the country, and Houston is one of the 10 cities designated to get one. The bureaus will be staffed by a single…
Clinton Didn’t Take Sheila Jackson Lee’s Advice
In its just-released dissection of Hillary Clinton’s failed presidential campaign, The Atlantic magazine notes that Houston Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee urged the candidate to play the gender card following the much-admired speech on race relations by Barack Obama. The time frame was last March and Hillary had just won the…
R.I.P. Belle Ortega, A Leader In More Ways Than One
All of Houston was saddened by the death of Velia “Belle” Ortega, the first female Hispanic officer in HPD history. After a lifetime of fighting crime, she died at 78 the victim of a drive-by shooting, which is a shitty way to go for anyone, but especially her. Our thoughts…
Houston Gets Another Recycling Dis — From A Local
Greenstar North America is the country’s largest private recycling company, and it’s based here in Houston. It’s about to build the state’s biggest recycling facility, a 180,000-square-foot operation that will be able to process 20,000 tons a month. Where are they going to build Texas’ biggest and best recycling facility?…
Protests Against ExxonMobil, But Not In Houston
The Democratic National Committee launched the first web ad for the Exxon-McCain Campaign today, a campaign that protests McCain’s much-too-close ties to big oil. (You can see the ad here.) Along with the web ad, there’s a National Day of Action planned (kinda). Activists across the country are supposedly lined…
Tonight: The McKenzies on KTRU; Future Clouds & Radar at Mucky Duck
Photo by Chris Gray Not a bad live-music agenda for a Tuesday night. Especially since you don’t even need to leave your house/car for the first one. Local young’uns the McKenzies, whose brisk power-pop touched off quite the commenting spree after their Secret Saturday Festival set a couple weeks back…
The Heights’ “Rails to Trails” Path To Happen, At Last
It’s been a long, long, long time coming, but the day may finally have arrived: the abanonded MKT rail line through the Heights might just be turned into a hike-and-bike trail. The Texas Department of Transportation has received a set of bids on the “Rails to Trails” project, with the…
The Osteen Trial: Let The Feasting Begin
The epic lawsuit between Victoria Osteen and Continental Air Lines flight attendant Sharon Brown is on a lunch break, but from all appearances it will be later this afternoon when defense attorney Rusty Hardin does his feasting. Hardin only got to the very beginning of his cross-examination of Brown before…
Ozone Awards Update: There Were Some Winners, Too
Despite the pre-show fisticuffs at last night’s Ozone Awards, some awards did finally manage to get handed out. (Rick Ross, who later won Best Rap Album for Trilla, and his entourage were reportedly involved in a scuffle with DJ Vlad over the weekend as well.) MTV.com reports that the highlight…
Hey Truants — They’re Coming After You
Playing hooky just got a bit tougher. Harris County DA Kenneth Magidson plans to announce Thursday a beefed-up anti-truancy program, one that will provide more staffers to a dozen school districts and seven Justice of the Peace courts. A publicized anti-truancy event is pretty much an annual thing — school…
Alleged KBR Rape Victim Sues the U.S.
There’s a new lawsuit in the sad and sordid saga of Jamie Leigh Jones. A former KBR employee who made national headlines with her heart-wrenching account of being raped while working at Camp Hope in Baghdad, Jones filed a lawsuit several days ago in Houston federal court against the United…
Ozone Awards Update: Rap-a-Lot Not Talking; Trae and Mike Jones Are
The fallout continues from last night’s brawl between Trae and Mike Jones at the Ozone Awards; by several accounts, the two Houston rappers have had beef for a good minute. Rocks Off called Rap-a-Lot Records for a statement, and the label’s publicist Sarah Lee was nothing if not diplomatic. “As…
Fake Fireworks and Feminine Swimsuits: More Notes on the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing
I thought I would return with a few more of my thoughts after another day and night of the Olympics, though I doubt that anything I write can come close to topping anything even contemplated by Michael Phelps, though I feel this will be better than the fake fireworks show…
Montrose’s Wharton Elementary School To Stay Open, For Now
The Houston school board may decide the fate of Wharton Elementary this week, and after a bit of a scare from a misinformed e-mail blast, the news is good. The board is voting to take Wharton off the list of schools to be closed. For now. An e-mail blast that…
Slip Inside This House: MP3s from the Clique, the Cicadelics and the Blox
The Clique, “Splash 1” How massive was the influence of the Thirteenth Floor Elevators on Texas musicians back in the day? Big enough that many groups tried adding their own electric jug player, and every single one was a dud (at best). Other groups like the Clique settled for covering…
Astros-Giants: Bad Calls from Cecil Cooper and Richard Justice
I wasn’t going to watch last night’s Astros/Giants game, but I turned to the Olympics at 7:00 and discovered that the great minds at NBC apparently thought that men’s synchronized diving was fit for primetime network viewing, so I switched over to Fox with the plan to watch the Astros…
This Just In: Drama at the Ozone Awards
According to a report on the Web site hiphopdx.com, Houston rappers Mike Jones and Trae da Truth were involved in a scuffle at last night’s Ozone Awards at the George R. Brown Convention Center. “As artists and media congregated in the press area, a commotion broke out and by the…
Slideshow: Rocky Horror Picture Show at River Oaks Theatre
Once a month, the River Oaks Theatre hosts a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, acted out by the Beautiful Creatures shadow cast. On Saturday, August 9, there were approximately 340 people in attendance. — Daniel Kramer…
$7 at Mi Luna Tapas Restaurant & Bar in Sugar Land
Where: Mi Luna Tapas Restaurant & Bar, 2298 Texas Drive, Sugar Land, 281-277-8272 What $7 gets you: Some great tasting Spanish – not Tex/Mex — food Two of the three big TVs over the expansive bar are tuned to an Argentinean soccer demonstration. The other, in a nod to the…
Sole of Houston: Strip Mall Taverns on the Southwest Side
A couple of weeks ago David Beebe and I and special guest Sole-r Sam Smith attempted an overly bold trek from the Brazoria County Line all the way up South Post Oak to Willowbend, from whence we intended to continue hiking on to South Main and thence downtown, to Allen’s…
HISD May Hike Cafeteria Prices
This just in: Houston Independent School District Superintendent Abe Saavedra will ask the school board this week to double the price of reduced-price lunches from 20 cents to 40 cents. Full-priced lunches will go from $1.40 to $1.60 for elementary students and from $1.50 to $1.70 for secondary. Adult lunches…
Sadly, There Is No “State Crime Fighters Journal”
You would think that if you placed an ad in something called Game Warden Journal, you’d remember it. You’re probably not overseeing the world’s most massive media buy ever, after all. But a guy named Robert Robinson was betting the other way, and he succeeded in bilking people by telling…
Sharpstown Residents Fight Nightclub Resurrection
Residents of the Sharpstown neighborhood have been plenty upset about plans for a new nightclub. The proposed club, El Zorro, would essentially replace the late, not-lamented-at-all Carnaval, the scene of many a late-night HPD visit, not to mention misdeeds that HPD never heard about. Residents packed a two-day hearing last…
R.I.P. Isaac Hayes: See Ya Later, Chef…
Man, despite all my classic-rock revelry, this weekend actually turned out to be kind of a bummer. First we lose Bernie Mac, then news comes yesterday that soul and South Park icon Isaac Hayes has passed on as well. Much more than the baritone behind the animated Comedy Central series’…
Will UH Try To Take The “UH” Out Of UH-Downtown?
Once again, it seems, there’s a move at the University of Houston to change the name of the UH-Downtown campus. Grumbling downtowners say that the powers at UH’s Bauer School of Business are getting awfully proprietary about being THE business school in Houston, and they don’t want the downtown campus…
Turning the Screw: Lower Life Form, Slim Thug, R.I.P. Bernie Mac, Chris Brown & T.I. Team Up, Master P and More
Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off’s weekly rap post. It probably won’t rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week Lower Life Form’s “Small Town Talk” Wire to Wire As reported by Chris Gray, this little Houstonian Yao Ming-ed…
Notes from the First Weekend of the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing
I just thought I would share a few thoughts on the first weekend of the Olympics – not counting Sunday night’s primetime events. First, I couldn’t help but noticing that the men were playing beach volleyball in a downpour with thunder and lightning – lightning even struck the remote camera…
Texans-Broncos: Houston Wins (Although It Doesn’t Really Count), Ahman Green Injured (Although That Was Expected)
I tried to watch the Texans play the Denver Broncos on Saturday night. I swear that I did. But damn, when men’s gymnastics over on NBC are more exciting than the Texans, then there’s just no reason to keep watching. I did watch most of the first half. And imagine…
Ryan Gosling’s New Role — That Guy Who Chopped Up A Body In Galveston
As far as good ideas for a movie go, one about a batshit-crazy scion of a New York City real-estate magnate whose first wife goes missing, followed by the unsolved murder of a close friend, followed by the “self-defense” killing and dismembering of a loudmouth neighbor, while at times disguising…
Moody Gardens Checklist: Keep Venomous Snakes Contained
Why is it that Galveston’s Moody Gardens is having so much trouble keeping track of its venomous snakes? You see the words “venomous snake,” you’d think it’d be something you pay a little attention to. But for the second time in a month, an African bush viper (not pictured to…
Over the Weekend: Erie City Iron Works and Under the Volcano
We’ve just loaded up a couple of batches of nightlife photos from Saturday night. Click on the photos below to see the goods. Brown Water at Erie City Iron Works 11:12 p.m. at Under the Volcano Here’s hoping you look as good as you felt. — KP…
Aggies Dissed, Miss Out On Getting A Dangerous New Lab
The Associated Press is out with an exclusive, publishing internal documents that showed the Department of Homeland Security ignored experts’ recommendations in where to put a new, expensive lab. Despite having weaker scores than other sites, DHS officials short-listed a location in Mississippi, which happens to be home to congressmembers…
The Immigration Cops Hate Midwives
Hispanics in south Texas who were delivered by midwives are having a tough time proving their citizenship these days, the Wall Street Journal reports today. Thanks to a scandal in the early 1990’s, when some midwives fraudulently obtained U.S. birth certificates for kids born in Mexico, the State Department no…
Whole Foods Recalls Ground Beef; Leaves Fancy Rhetoric Intact
Austin, Texas-based Whole Foods has pulled Coleman ground beef from all its stores and issued a recall in some states. Turns out its Coleman “Natural” Beef was being processed by a company known for repeated recalls and USDA violations. Which is pretty funny given the sanctimonious rhetoric about the superiority…
Whole Foods Recalls Ground Beef; Leaves Fancy Rhetoric Intact
Austin, Texas-based Whole Foods has pulled Coleman ground beef from all its stores and issued a recall in some states. Turns out its Coleman “Natural” Beef was being processed by a company known for repeated recalls and USDA violations. Which is pretty funny given the sanctimonious rhetoric about the superiority…
Stephenie Meyer’s Breaking Dawn: A Review
This book, just out, sold more than a quarter million copies in the United States on its first day. It has sparked huge Internet debates between members of Team Edward and Team Jacob over how it resolved the lives of its characters in this fourth installment. For those of you…
Aftermath: Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
The “Rock N Roll Jesus” himself/photos by Mark C. Austin Maybe the Texas heat and August humidity has finally sent me around the bend for good, but “All Summer Long,” as Kid Rock would say, I’ve been in the throes of the biggest case of classic-rock fever I’ve ever had…
The John Edwards Effect: As We Become Less Prudish, We Freak Out More About Politicians Having Affairs
This is what I don’t get regarding the whole John Edward thing. And the Bill Clinton thing. And the Bob Livingston, Larry Craig, Eliot Spitzer thing. (And so on.) We spend a lot of time talking about politicians who cheat. Why? Let’s go back fifty years ago or so. It…
Chuck Norris Reaches Out And Touches: The Top Five
Whatever you think of his politics (and I try my best not to), Oklahoma-born Chuck Norris is a Texas icon. Thanks to quality TV programming like Walker: Texas Ranger, and several Tejas-based movie roles, the Navasota resident is irrevocably tied to the Lone Star State (and Sidekicks was filmed right…
Over the Weekend: Kid Rock, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Houston Astros
Y’all see the opening ceremony in Beijing? That drum thing was kind of cool… Kid Rock and Lynryd Skynyrd in the Woodlands Skynyrd and the Kid rocked the Woodlands Pavilion. We should have a full review later on Rocks Off, but for now here are some photos from Mark C…
Texas Road Food: Spring
Watermelon and mango stand in the back of a pick-up on FM 1960. — Robb Walsh…
Astros-Reds: Houston Sweeps, Carlos Lee Injured
So I’m sitting down to write my Astros wrap-up and do you know what? YAWN! I might be reaching that stage in the season where I just don’t give a damn. Sure, the Astros swept a four game series with the Reds, but as bad as the Astros are, the…
Slideshow: Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd in the Woodlands
We just loaded up some photos of Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd in the Woodlands. Rock on. — KP…
An Exclusive Interview with the Astrodome
This interview was conducted before the Rodeo and the Houston Texans made it known that they may be amenable to allowing the Astrodome hotel project to proceed. As some of you may remember, the Astrodome was hit with citations for numerous fire code violations last month. Various county and city…
Tomorrow Night: Tim Hagans at DiverseWorks
It was during an early ’70s visit to New Orleans that then-teenage Tim Hagans – a native of Dayton, Ohio – decided jazz would be his lifetime calling. There, he heard he heard legendary trumpeter Ray Maldonado perform with Mongo Santamaria’s band, and he was hooked on the instrument from…
Weekend Music: Kid Rock, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rick Ross, Craig Kinsey, Young Jeezy and More
Hello friends. You shouldn’t have to guess too hard where my musical heart lies this weekend. Tonight, of course, it’s at the Woodlands. If you’re going, do yourself a favor and get there early for openers Back Door Slam and Reverend Run (no kidding)… Kid Rock, “American Badass” Lynyrd Skynyrd,…
We Got Your Inspirational Sports Story Right Here
I got this link from one of my readers (and commenters), though I won’t mention his name for fear of ruining his reputation. And with the Olympics underway, I thought it was appropriate to share it with the rest of you. The link leads to a story of a Cambodian…
Aftermath: Ariel Pink & Haunted Graffiti, Chairlift, Wicked Poseur, Balaclavas and the Wiggins at Walter’s on Washington
Ariel Pink, with Haunted Graffiti/photos by Brandon K. Hernsberger Four opening bands? Really, Walter’s? Four? It’s not often that our fair city scores an act as interesting and original as Ariel Pink (whose MySpace page lists his band Haunted Graffiti as from “Cuckoo Land, California”; but it seems all too…
The Osteen Trial: Brilliant Legal Mind At Work
Two things were made abundantly clear at the Victoria Osteen trial today: one is that Sharon Brown deserves millions upon millions of dollars for being attacked by a rabidly out-of-control harpie; and the other is that there is simply no greater attorney in Houston – nay, in world history –…
Feds Investigate Harris County Jail Again
Earlier today, investigators from the U.S. Department of Justice debriefed the command staff at the Harris County Jail, ending the second week-long investigation of the jail this summer. A Sheriff’s Department spokesman, Deputy David Crain, says the department isn’t commenting about what’s going on. Crain says that Justice Department investigators…
Friday In-Stores: Hayes Carll and Paris Falls
If you hurry – and aren’t stuck out in Katy somewhere – you can still catch Hayes Carll’s 5:30 p.m. in-store at Cactus Music – by the way, congrats to Cactus owner Quinn Bishop and wife Meg on the birth of son Graham yesterday – before his show with Ray…
Jody Rosen of Slate Responds, Deals With A Squalling Kid
Driving out of New York City for a weekend vacation with his wife and a sometime screaming 4-year-old in the back seat, Jody Rosen called us to respond to what Montgomery County Bulletin Editor/Publisher Mike Ladyman had to say to us. The conversation was a disjointed one, delivered in about…
John Edwards Admits He (Kinda) Lied To The Houston Press
The breaking political news today is that John Edwards admits in an interview to be televised tonight that, yeah, he did have that affair. Which means the thing will finally get some MSM coverage. If you’re going to admit to an affair, we guess it’s best to do it on…
Mayor’s Office to SF: Send Us Those Recycling Bins!
Victory! Of sorts. In the ongoing battle for San Franciscans to be able to donate 200 recycling bins to Houston’s sorry non-recycling residents. Mayoral spokesman Frank Michel tells Hair Balls that “The contention that the city is somehow not cooperating with this request is not supported by the facts.” He…
Victim Advocates Now Welcome At Executions
It seems like Houston’s crime victim advocate Andy Kahan got his wish … kind of. Last week, Kahan was frustrated that despite the desires of his friend, Randy Ertman, he was not allowed to stand by Ertman during the execution of Jose Medellin, convicted of raping and strangling Ertman’s daughter…
R.I.P., Plagiarizing Montgomery County Paper
This just in: The Montgomery County Bulletin is closing its doors. Its editor/publisher Mike Ladyman is tired of the plagiarism charges and the accusations and the 30-40-50 e-mails he received in the last two days: “You scum bag.” “You should go to hell.” And he ended his association with writer…
Do Astronauts Hate NASA’s New Moon Rocket?
With the space shuttle age dying down, NASA’s next step is to return to the moon. They are designing a new rocket (called Ares I) to do it, but there may just be a revolt going on among the astronaut corps over the design of that rocket. According to the…
New Code of Conduct for NFL Fans
Yes, yes, I know that football season is starting. Yes, yes, I know the Houston Texans are actually supposed to be a decent team this year, and yes, yes, I know that Mario Williams is actually supposed to a good player. But I’ll tell you something: I don’t care. Call…
San Franciscans Still Can’t Donate Recycling Bins To Houston
Houston, it turns out we at Hair Balls, despite earlier claims, have not done enough to get this city off its non-recycling ass. We put blind faith in the report that a city official had finally contacted the San Franciscans who nobly wanted to donate recycling bins to the city…
The Osteen Trial: Joel Takes The Stand
They’ve broken for lunch at the Trial of the Century, with Joel Osteen His Own Self on the stand. No real fireworks occurred as he was questioned by plaintiff’s attorney Reginald McKamie. But the preacher, whose wife was accused of being a racist yesterday, actually played the “one of my…
Aftermath: Valient Thorr and Early Man at Rudyard’s
Photos by Craig Hlavaty Because it’s been indelibly stereotyped (with some justification) as the soundtrack to working-class wage slaves dropping the hammer on their Z-28s while burning a massive doob, people tend to forget that technically speaking, metal is one of the most difficult styles to pull off in all…
Hospital Loses Part Of Man’s Skull; Man Gets Pissed
Patients can lose a lot of things when they go to the hospital: That Grisham paperback, a pair of socks, maybe their eyeglasses. Marvin Simmons lost part of his skull. And the UT-Medical Branch says they can’t find it to put it back. Simmons would dearly like it back, though,…
Tonight: World’s Most Dangerous CD Release at Dan Electro’s
It’s no accident this fearsome foursome of Houstonians and New Orleans expats contracts to WMD. Debut Southern Fried Throwdown rocks with the kind of two-fisted, double-barreled, metal-edged frenzy that should make the boys in ZZ Top swell with regional pride and Motorhead’s Lemmy look nervously over his shoulder. As with…
HPD Loses $50,000 Worth Of Sex Toys
We wrote back in 2005 about lawyer Richard Kuniansky’s brave, noble and successful effort to free a man accused of selling sex toys at a Houston store. Jose Escalante faced a year in jail and a $4,000 fine for selling obscene devices. Specifically, according to the arrest report, such novelties…
Astros-Reds: Bust Out the Twinkies
If you’re wondering about that strange thing you witnessed last night in Houston’s 7-4 victory over the Cincinnati Reds, it’s called a quality start. That’s right, for the first time since July 30th, an Astros starting pitcher qualified for a quality start. Sure, Roy Oswalt had to work out of…
Advance Planning for Texas Wine Month in October
Need an excuse to drink in October? Besides the common association of the month with beer and Octobrefests around the globe, the state of Texas has once again declared October: Texas Wine Month. The official celebration kicks off with a Taste of San Antonio on October 3 and crescendos with…
Vet Says He Was Beaten Up At The VA Hospital
Watch out where you park at the Veterans Administration hospital. You never know, you might just get trounced by security. At least that’s the lesson Jimmy Claude Williams claims he learned one morning. Williams, a disabled veteran who uses a wheelchair, filed a lawsuit in federal court last week claiming…
Brett Favre vs. Neil Frank: Battle Of The Unwanted Comebacks
This past week saw two unlikely – and in some corners, unwelcome – comebacks. Brett Favre forced his way back into the NFL, and Neil Frank forced his way back into the KHOU studios. Both are old, old guys who just can’t give up doing what they once did –…
Texas Road Food: San Leon
Sign on the front door of Gilhooley’s Raw Bar. — Robb Walsh…
Webkinz…Making Our Kids Lamer One Plush Pet At a Time
As if I weren’t already convinced that we are in The End Times, this past week I found out about something that confirmed their near arrival: Webkinz. Now seeing as Webkinz made its way into our world in late 2005, those of you with small children are currently shaking your…
Five Spot: Breaking Out the Musical Ugly Stick
Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we’ll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it’s either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. That’s Iggy on the right, in case you were wondering. Leathery Stooge Iggy Pop recently had his band’s equipment stolen outside…
Scenes From The Osteen Trial: The Race Card Played
Post-traumatic stress disorder – it’s not just for combat veterans and victims of violence anymore! Ever been shoved? Talked down to at work? We’re not saying you’ve got an excuse to go all Martin Sheen-punching-a-mirror-in-a-Saigon-hotel-room crazy, but you may be entitled to a sweet settlement. At least that’s what Sharon…
Telecommuting Is The Way To Go
High gas prices are proving useful for those who want to work in their PJs. The Houston Business Journal recently reported that more than two-thirds of executives from the nation’s top companies allow employees to work off site. The survey, conducted by OfficeTeam, polled 150 senior executives and also found…
No Excuses Now — The Downtown Y Is Working Again
The situation at the Downtown YMCA, where a burst pipe shut down hot water and some a/c, has been resolved. Which would make no difference to a commenter on our original post about the situation: “No HOT water. As long as there’s water a shower can be taken following a…
Uh-Oh, O’Reilly: Racial Discrimination?
The Houston portion of the auto-parts chain O’Reilly’s is in trouble. The local office of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission announced today they’ve filed a discrimination suit against the retailer, saying African-American employees at a Houston plant were subjected to “racial slurs by co-workers, and even managers, on a…
That Strange Katrina-Refugee Kidnapping Story Takes Another Step
The case of Rhonda Tavey is a tangled one; a Good Samaritan involved in Hurricane Katrina relief now being accused of abducting the five children she took into her care. An Amber Alert was issued, but now Tavey has returned to Houston from Dallas and been arrested…
Teen Houston Rapper Headed for Beijing
If Houston rapper J. Xavier, 16, weren’t home-schooled, he would have a killer “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” essay. Saturday, Xavier, his dad/manager and an interpreter will fly from Houston to Beijing to perform at the 2008 Olympics, which get underway tomorrow. (Or may be underway already; I…
Robb Walsh, On Being A Plagiaree
I felt a weird sense of pride to find myself among the writers that Mark Williams at the Montgomery County Bulletin ripped off. I just finished reading his recent restaurant review “Where There’s Smoke, There’s BBQ.” Of the 1338 words, 515 of were plagarized from my article “The Art of…
Words Right Out of My Mouth
I felt a weird sense of pride to find myself among the writers that Mark Williams at the Montgomery County Bulletin ripped off. I just finished reading his recent restaurant review “Where There’s Smoke, There’s BBQ.” Of the 1338 words, 515 of were plagarized from my article “The Art of…
Paul McCartney Stuns Oklahoma City
If you get your kicks on Route 66, you’ll eventually wind up in Oklahoma City, which is where freshly divorced Paul McCartney found himself a couple days ago on his sentimental road trip through the American heartland. McCartney, who’s official title is “Sir” in the British Empire, had dinner in…
Aftermath: Jubal Lee Young at Under the Volcano
Photos by Chris Gray He’s hairy and laid-back, but Jubal Lee Young is hardly your average everyday limp-noodle folk singer. He prowls around while he’s playing and he beats on his Martin guitar like it’s a mastodon he’s trying to kill with stick. He sings like a soul singer headed…
Victoria Osteen Trial: The Beatdown Begins
There’s not been much in the way of fireworks (yet) in the epochal Victoria Osteen trial, which is simply the single most important case of jurisprudence since the Dred Scott decision. The courtroom is packed with Osteen supporters — our man on the scene had to take a seat on…
Power Outage At Downtown YMCA
If you’re headed to the Downtown Y for your lunchtime workout, you might have to make other plans. A pipe has burst and the place has lost hot water and some a/c, according to an e-mail sent out to members: A pipe burst this morning in the facility and hit…
Foreigners Now More Welcome At Bush Intercontinental
Foreign visitors to Houston are getting an improvement in service, via the feds’ Customs and Border Protection office. Bush Intercontinental is one of 20 airports across the country that will be getting a “Passenger Service Manager.” The PSM, Cheryl Tolson, “will be available for questions, concerns and compliments raised by…
Enron’s Lou Pai Gets Into Cow Farts
Everyone read last week about how Lou Pai, the stripper-lovin’ ex-Enron exec who made off with $270 million before the crash, ponied up about $31 million in fines to settle his SEC case. Which will probably affect the gentlemen’s clubs in Colorado, where he lives now, for about a month…
Wax Museum: MP3s from Mark Putney, Clarence Green and Wild Honey
Mark Putney, “Today’s Man” Every now and then you stumble onto a song that blows your mind. That was the case when I first heard “Today’s Man,” and unfortunately all my hopes of discovering other 45s by Putney were squashed when I learned this was his solitary release as a…
Ripping Off Robb Walsh
Heard about the plagiarism scandal at The Bulletin in Montgomery County? Well, looks like the Chron’s Alison Cook has uncovered examples of the paper ripping off our very own Robb Walsh, including whole paragraphs from “The Art of Smoke.” Kudos to Alison for the heads up, and shame (!) on…
No More Family Guy For Star Furniture
Star Furniture, the third in the Houston triumvirate of ubiquitously advertising furniture stores, has made a bold decision. They’ve decided to crumble helplessly in the face of some right-wing whiners. Star, along with Dallas-based The Room Store and Corpus Christi’s Whataburger, are the latest companies to say they will no…
Astros-Cubs: Setting the Clocks Back to Lima Time
What can I say about yesterday’s Astros-Cubs contest? That it wasn’t much of a contest. I can say that. But I don’t think that comes close to getting to just how ugly the Cubs 11-4 victory was. The Astros actually led the game at one point, scoring four runs in…
It’s Freaking Hot — So Watch Some Cold Movies
Longtime Texas residents know that the months of June through September inclusive are best spent avoiding the merciless heat. Tried-and-true methods include cavorting naked at the Williams Tower water wall, taking a summer internship in Lapland, and — for the undead — filling your coffin with ice instead of soil…
An `80s Houston Flashback, Via A Board Game
What did you do last Friday night? I played a board game with an old friend and her parents. Twice. And I could have gone for a third time, but the folks were tired and wanted to go to bed. The game: Boomtown Houston. It came out in 1980, and…
The Taco Truck Gourmet: Mi Lindo Huetamo #2
This stately white and stainless steel-clad taco truck can be found at the corner of Hillcroft and Jessamine on the same block as Droubi’s Middle Eastern grocery and bakery. The cooking is top-notch and the garnishes are unusually elaborate. Try the quesadillas al pastor, lovingly topped off with sour cream,…
Negativland: Our Favorite Things
Negativland is chopped and screwed, California style. The Bay-Area band rose to popularity in the early ‘80s thanks to its mash-ups of popular music and sound bites from television, film and radio. The group gained notoriety when it was sued by Island records for sampling U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found…
Michele Brangwen
For ten years, Michele Brangwen has been making dance in Houston. To celebrate the work she created during that time, she’s decided to look forward and examine some of the creative possibilities the company’s future holds. With 10 Years and 20 Gongs: Michele Brangwen on Sanctuary Moon Brangwen and her…
“Houston Collects: African American Art”
It’s easy to forget, amidst the recent prominence of artists such as Kara Walker and Thornton Dial Sr. that African-American art is still a very young tradition. It’s encouraging, then, to see an exhibition like “Houston Collects: African American Art” at the MFAH, a varied, encompassing exhibition that hits on…
Shine a Light, The Stones and Scorsese
Shine a Light is what happens when the masters of two fields combine. Martin Scorsese (he makes movies) shot the Rolling Stones (they make music) during two nights of their “Bigger Bang” tour in 2006 for the rockumentary. The movie preview reveals Bill Clinton in the audience as Mick Jagger…
“Houston Center for Photography’s 26th Anniversary ”
It’s summer, which means you’ve no doubt been subjected to dozens upon dozens of grainy, ill-framed digital shots of friends and family waving smugly from some faraway sandy beach. Those stuck in Houston’s sweltering environs will happily be reminded, then, that real photography is much more than the click of…
“Go for the Gold”
Think your kid deserves a gold medal just for being a great kid? Well, she can get one at the Children’s Museum of Houston’s Go for the Gold WonderWeek. There’s a Spotlight Performance by ribbon dancer Olesya Webb to start things off. Kids will also enjoy Dance Dance Revolution, a…
Margaret Cezair-Thompson
Margaret Cezair-Thompson knows what it means to be “in like Flynn.” The Jamaican-born author based her novel The Pirate’s Daughter on the promiscuous actor Errol Flynn’s time in her homeland. From the 1930s to the ‘50s, Flynn was known for his roles as a swashbuckler in films such as Captain…
Hamilton Loomis
Galveston native Hamilton Loomis began playing blues guitar in front of thousands of people as a teenager. Over the years, the Grammy-nominated guitarist has kept it simple. He focused on learning from the best — Bo Diddley and Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown among them — touring extensively and writing his own…
Sasha Milby
Sasha Milby isn’t afraid of telling a tragic story. With her art, paintings on customized wooden boxes, she reveals intensely personal emotions and stories. Milby uses textures and stains underneath the acrylic paints that often evoke dark, almost disturbing images. There’s a black figure, a dark red heart on his…
Indie Filmmaking: From Texas to Los Angeles and Back
Really into movies? As filmmaker or as an audience member? Oh, well, it doesn’t matter because today writer/director/editor Chris Eska has something for both. For those who dream of being the next filmmaking wunderkind, there’s Indie Filmmaking: From Texas to Los Angeles and Back. Eska will lead the workshop, discussing…
Local Authors Day
It’s not too late to add some native flavor to your summer reading. Brazos Bookstore will host its first Local Authors Day to give literary fans a chance to meet, greet and hear readings from a healthy crop of Houston and Gulf Coast writers. No taste will be left unsatisfied,…
“X=(ATX)3”
Aerosol Warfare went back to basics and out of town for its latest exhibit “X=(ATX)3.” The show features the work of Sloke 1, Spain 1 and Mez, three Austin graffiti artists who kick it old school. “The decision was based on going back to our roots a little bit,” says…
Bob Zany
Bob Zany spits out sarcasm like a machine. The middle-aged comedian chews a cigar during stand-up routines while delivering one zinger after another: He covers women (“Did Albert Einstein’s wife ask him, ‘What are you thinking?’”), people in his audience (“You sell used cars? And you drive a used car?…
The Bacchae
When most people think of the mythical god Dionysus, they picture a jovial, drunken deity, languishing with his worshippers, awash in fine wine. But those who have read their Euripides (and not just pretended to) will remember that in The Bacchae he was another being entirely. The play, first produced…
Craig Kinsey
Craig Kinsey references Houston a lot in his first album, The Burdener. “Well, I live in Houston,” says Kinsey. This is true, but it’s not often you hear local, non-rap musicians dropping the names of H-town streets and hot spots in their tunes. “Why is that, you think?” asks Kinsey…
Onegin
Pushkin would be pleased: Not only is the Houston Ballet about to open its ‘08-’09 season with his Onegin, but tonight the Russian Cultural Center Our Texas will present a sneak preview and discussion of the ballet. The Houston Ballet added legendary choreographer John Cranko’s version to its repertoire in…
John Reep
John Reep is a blue-collar Dane Cook. Of course, with a Last Comic Standing victory under this belt and a recurring role as the “That thing got a Hemi?” guy in Dodge truck commercials, Reep has proven he’s past the comparison stage. But he does take a cue from Cook…
“Drapetomania: A Disease Called Freedom”
A heavy spiked iron collar is a chilling representation of a slave’s desperation. It was a punishment — worn by those who attempted (and failed) to run away. The collar, along with 200 other objects, is part of the exhibit “Drapetomania: A Disease Called Freedom.” Coined by doctors in the…
Busted for Blow Jobs
You’re an undercover cop assigned to get the goods on an alleged prostitution ring. You get approval to have sex in the course of your investigation, approval from your supervisor and your wife, for crying out loud. You do what you’re told. You get blow jobs. You go all the…
The 2008 Houston Press Music Awards Ceremony
“This is a huge night for me.” So said Bun B backstage at Warehouse Live last Wednesday, shortly after receiving the third top-tier Houston Press Music Award of the night on behalf of UGK. The Port Arthur-cum-Houston duo took home Local Musicians of the Year, Best Local Album (Underground Kingz),…
Racism at Work and Tijuana Bibles
Dear Mexican, Where I recently started working, Latinos are prohibited from speaking Spanish. We are constantly being threatened about it. My manager constantly makes racial remarks about all cultures. Is this illegal? Is it against the law for employers to prohibit employees from speaking Spanish? If so, then what can…
Just How Texan are Hayes Carll and Miranda Lambert?
Among the Carrie Underwood clones and Kenny Chesney knockoffs, country music has gotten interesting again — and, as has happened so often in the past, a bumper crop of brash young Texans is right in the thick of things. Lindale native Miranda Lambert’s fire-breathing 2007 LP Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, produced by…
Send It Back: Bottle Shock‘s Corked
Bottle Shock, which debuted at the Sundance Film Festival in January, is a great concept populated by great actors that works hard to make its audience feel great! Only, sadly, it’s far, far from a great movie — a little too sweet to the taste, almost sickly so. Indeed, it’s…
Sonny Landreth
Look in the most rarified air in the world of electric guitar, and Sonny Landreth will be right there alongside better-known names like Mark Knopfler, Mike Henderson and Richard Thompson. While the longtime Lafayette-area resident’s own albums, like 1995’s R.S. Field-produced South of I-10, are searing testaments to his intensity…
Provocateurs Catherine Breillat and Asia Argento Put Their Stamp (or tattoo) on 19th-Century France
Catherine Breillat hitches her wagon to the hottest of European stars, Asia Argento, in a highly entertaining adaptation of French dandy Jules-Amédée Barbey d’Aurevilly’s mid-19th-century novel Une vieille maîtresse — once notorious for its treatment of a young libertine’s erotic obsession with a homely 36-year-old woman. Set on the cusp…
Rick Ross
Some advice for plus-size Miami hustler/rapper Rick Ross based on his new album, Trilla: (a) First of all, don’t do your shout-out track as an intro. No one cares that you like the city of Chicago. (b) If you’re going to have DJ Khaled do an interlude, ask him not…
Video Gaming at the Games? Not This Year, Pal
Imagine, if you will, a pasty, bespectacled stringbean draped in an American flag, an Olympic medal tugging at his pencilneck, all backed by John Williams’s orchestra swells and the impassioned cheers of thousands. Yes, friends, this is the moment: America has just taken home the gold in professional video gaming…
Johnny Rivers
Younger folks probably think “Secret Agent Man” is just the snappy soundtrack to that recent Chase credit card commercial, but baby boomers know it as one of a string of tunes from Johnny Rivers. Otherwise, Rivers, now 65, is best known for improbable hit cover versions of songs such as…
Perseph One and AndAcc; Patients of Timeless Minds
Every high school has one of those girls who wears some shit-crazy outfit each day, like a skirt with pants underneath or a bow tie and gloves. Synth-driven in production and irreverently disconnected in lyrical delivery, Patients of Timeless Minds is probably the album that that nut has playing on…
Single File
Beck, “Orphans”: You know, I’m liking this tune a lot more than anything off Guero or The Information — and producer Danger Mouse might know Mr. Hansen even better than he knows himself — but why can’t the Beckster just get back to making lo-fi funny-dada rock by himself with…
Juke Joint Duo Cedric Burnside and Lightnin’ Malcolm
Cedric Burnside and Lightnin’ Malcolm seem to personify the platonic ideals of the Delta blues. Burnside explains that he was raised alongside “eight or nine” other children in a two-room house deep in the northern Mississippi Hill Country. Also in the house? His grandfather, R.L. Burnside, an iconoclastic blues legend…
Hawg Heaven
Delmer Barkley is possessed of a typically coarse Southern charm. A couple of piercings and faded tattoos adorn his body, accenting his semi-flattop haircut quite nicely. His voice is a bit froggy, no doubt worn from spending nearly a decade in the bar business, as owner first of Delmer’s Ice…
Kid Rock, Lynyrd Skynyrd
Brash as he is, and certainly no stranger to the cameras of TMZ-type programs, Kid Rock has been underestimated pretty much ever since his 1998 Atlantic debut Devil Without a Cause took more than a year to go platinum (and then went platinum several times over). Ever since, Rock has…
Totimoshi: Milagrosa
With more than a decade of bashing out sludgy, Melvins-inspired heaviness, Oakland power trio Totimoshi takes a step into new territory with a considerably more dynamic sound on its fifth effort, Milagrosa. Joined again by Helmet principal Page Hamilton as producer, the group consciously broadens its palette. The slashing guitar…
Sam Phillips: Don’t Do Anything
The jewel-case graphics for Sam Phillips’s Don’t Do Anything dangle these teasers, all circled with red pen like a teacher ticking off major elements of a theme: “An album of intrigue, look at all you get — moods and diversions of a natural star, a high degree of male hanky-panky,…
Jessica Boone Delivers a Charmed Performance in Cymbeline
The Houston Shakespeare Festival is now lighting up the evening sky over the grassy hill at Miller Outdoor Theatre. In this bucolic setting, the great bard’s poetry and the actors’ energy spin like fairy dust through the miasma of the warm night. The stage lights come up, the sun goes…
Bayousphere
The road to show-business success is finding that fine line between Lyle Lovett and that late-night infomercial guy who wears the suit with all the question marks on it. John Evans may not quite pull it off here, but he was able to nab a Best Songwriter win at the…
No Honest Players Among Human Smugglers
Bound and gagged, Elmer Nuñez-Rodriguez watched helplessly as a stocky, dark-haired man charged toward him with a phone in one hand and a yellow claw hammer in the other. With one swing, the man drove the hammer into Elmer’s foot, threw Elmer onto the bed and ripped off the duct…
Rice Gallery Hosts Outrageous Window Installation Dust
An artist friend of mine recently moved out of the studio she had rented for years, and I happened to stop by one night while she was “packing.” Actually, it was a 24-hour sale of the mountains of crap she had accumulated while living there. (Some art was for sale,…
Crash Course at Ristorante Cavour
Every meal at Ristorante Cavour begins with an amuse-gueule — literally, an “amusement for the throat,” which not only prepares the gustatory tract for the pleasures that are to follow but showcases the cuisine the chef is about to prepare for you. On my first visit, it consisted of a…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Comic Books: A Visual Journey,” “Dave Darraugh & Hana Hillerova,” “Defending Democracy,” “Drapetomania: A Disease Called Freedom,” “The Joannaversary: Parachutists Are the Loneliest People,” “Sterne and Steinberg”
“Comic Books: A Visual Journey” Richard Evans of Bedrock City Comics has lent his personal collection to the Museum of Printing History for a survey of comic book history. Eight chronologically arranged vitrines break down major periods since the dawn of mass media. There are the early comics, with thick…
Baked Rolls at Sushi Nikko
Steve Hong recently opened Sushi Nikko (1140 Eldridge Pkwy., 281-493-3330) — with a little help from his friends. “A very good friend of my uncle’s owns 20 locations of Sushi Nikko in California,” says Hong. “He helped me open the first Sushi Nikko in Houston. This is my first business…
Capsule Stage Reviews: The Annual Festival of Originals, Electile Dysfunction, Smoke on the Mountain: Homecoming
The Annual Festival of Originals For 11 years, hungry playwrights from across the country have been submitting their scripts in hopes of seeing their words come to life onstage. Return addresses include both prisons and universities. Only five get chosen for a full production, and there are two charming comedies…
A Happy Marriage at Vietnamese Bistro & Bar
The “Pagoda roll” ($7) at Pagoda Vietnamese Bistro & Bar (4705 Inker, 832-673-0400) begs the question, “Why didn’t anyone think of this before?” There are two traditional appetizers on the menus of many Vietnamese restaurants — spring rolls and Vietnamese crepes. Only at Pagoda did someone decide to marry the…
Rogen and Franco, on the Run and Madly in Love in Pineapple Express
On the surface, Pineapple Express offers precisely what it advertises: a roll-’em-up, smoke-’em-up, blow-’em-up bromantic comedy from the freaks and geeks who have made Judd Apatow’s brand of stunted-man yuks a global franchise. Once more, Seth Rogen’s red-rimmed, half-shut eyes peek out from beneath his tousled Jewfro, which sits atop…
High-School Heroes and Zeros Roam the Halls of Nanette Burstein’s “documentary” American Teen
Notwithstanding all the pundit-driven hot air about the horrors of being young in today’s America, I’m willing to buy the argument that it’s getting harder to survive those years, if only because there’s so much more for the poor dears to worry about — more information, more technology, more stuff…
John Edwards, The IRA and Jesus Christ
Online readers comment on “Irish Luck,” by John Nova Lomax, July 24: He should pay: Just because someone gets to the U.S. and lives here for years doesn’t mean they should get to stay once caught. Whether they are here a month, a year or five years, they still need…
