UPDATE: Linda Chorney, Listen Up
UPDATE — a note from the author: We spoke to Mr. Ames again this afternoon. He informed us that he thought the conversation would not be used in our article and that it was only for background information. He also stated that he does not recall some of the statements…
CultureMap’s Two Sh*t People Say Videos: What Say You?
I’m pretty sure I speak for just about everyone when I say the sh*t people say videos have gotten not only annoying, but ridiculous. I swear, any day now someone will come out with “Sh*t people born in Texas but raised in New York by adoptive parents with a stay-at-home…
MasterMind 2012 Awards Recognize Pilot Light Chefs Terrence Gallivan and Seth Siegel-Gardner
This time last year, our third annual MasterMind awards was recognizing the new Foodways Texas organization for its work in preserving Texan food history and traditions in the same way that Southern Foodways Alliance has done for a dozen years. It was the first time that a MasterMind award –…
Revisiting Alicia Keys’ ‘Songs In A Minor’
There’s a reason why we lauded Alicia Keys when her debut album Songs In A Minor dropped a little more than a decade ago. The young piano prodigy had the look of a new age starlet, Billie Holiday with a fedora and braids and on her 31st birthday, revisiting her…
HISD Cancels After-School Activities Due to Rain, Flooding
The Houston Independent School District has cancelled all after-school events Wednesday due to heavy rain and flooding that has struck the area today. Administrators will decide at a later date whether to reschedule specific activities. An HISD release states: HISD schools will conduct dismissal at their regular time today. Teachers…
Another Nasty Fraternity Hazing Allegation in East Texas
In April 2010, Xavier Christopher Foster, a freshman at the historically black Jarvis Christian College in Hawkins, walked into a private apartment for a Kappa Alpha Psi pledge meeting. Instead of learning more about one of the nation’s oldest African-American fraternities, he endured five hours of “near nonstop beatings, verbal…
Bring It On: Go, Team, Go!
The setup: Gimme an F! Gimme a U! Gimme an N! Gimme me a T-I-M-E!! What does it spell? How about a brand-new hip musical about high school cheerleaders that’s a whole lot better than the premise: a new musical about high school cheerleaders. I’m not kidding. At the end,…
The Worst Groupon Ad Ever?
“My mom sent me this today,” began the email from my co-worker, which he’d simply titled “How NOT To Write a Groupon Description.” “She says the place is really terrific,” he continued, “but this description…I mean…” The Groupon ad, for a wine bar in Spring called Crescent Moon, started out…
Google Auto-Complete Answers: Why Are Texans…
Like most people who use the monolithic search engine, I find it funny when Google tries to auto-complete our search requests, but I don’t always pay attention. Let’s face it, Google’s system is so damn fast, I barely even noticed when “where can I find” added “tranny hookers” to the…
No-Fun Number Ones: The Worst Chart Toppers Since Tiffany
It’s no secret that chart success is no real guarantor of musical quality. Hell, “(How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?” went number one way back in 1952, pissing kids off so badly that they had to invent rock ‘n roll. Twenty-five years ago this week, however, Billboard reached…
Reality Bites: The Bad Girls Club – Las Vegas
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch all of them, one at a time. There comes a point in reviewing shows showcasing the embarrassing antics of tattooed subhumans (Jersey Shore) or the plasticine über-rich (Real Housewives of X) where you start realizing the…
Tunnel Explorer: Pastabilities
I used to work with a guy who looked a bit like Franklin the Turtle. He was slightly narcoleptic. You always knew when “Franklin” was going to drift off, because he would bring his right hand up to his left shoulder and start massaging his collarbone. Within minutes, he’d be…
Attorney to Judge: Please Make Michael Brown Stop Spending Money on Strippers!
The divorce lawyer for cocaine-ologist and former hand surgeon Michael Brown’s estranged wife have filed a Family Court motion accusing him of violating agreed orders by spending nearly half a million dollars on strippers in 2011. Rachel Brown’s attorney, David Brown (no relation), alleges that the good doctor spent $130,000…
The Former KTRU Being Added to iHeartRadio App
According to a report on Billboard.com, iHeartRadio, an online streaming service with a companion smart phone app owned by Clear Channel communications, Rice Radio (formerly KTRU) is one of 14 college radio station being added to the streaming platform in an effort to broaden the company’s radio offerings. iHeartRadio streams…
Last Night: The Kills At House Of Blues
Relive last night’s Kills concert with our slideshow. Let it be said that the Kills’ Alison Mosshart should not be lumped in with “chick” lead singers. She should go in that special box with people like Robert Plant, Iggy Pop, Jim Morrison, Lux Interior, and other feral lead singers who…
Monkeying Around: Cirque du Soleil’s Terrance Harrison
Michael Jackson, arguably the most famous entertainer that ever lived, had one close friend and confidant, Bubbles the chimp. So, of course, Bubbles has an important role in the Cirque du Soleil show Michael Jackson: THE IMMORTAL World Tour. Former Houstonian Terrance Harrison plays Bubbles. It’s a role that allows…
The Rise of Single-Dish Restaurants in America
Like it or leave it, restaurants specializing in macaroni and cheese — that ultimate “white people comfort food,” as my baffled brown friends call it — are becoming increasingly popular across the United States. From Connecticut’s J.B. Mack, which bills itself as “America’s 1st Macaroni and Cheese Restaurant,” to the…
Former KTSU Advertiser Alleges Bait-and-Switch by Station Management
In 2010, event planner Sharon Johnson says that KTSU-FM 90.9 management sabotaged a trip she had put together for the 2010 New Orleans Jazz Festival. As a result, she may file a class-action suit “because it hurt me badly,” Johnson tells Hair Balls. Two years ago, Johnson organized a bus…
Cover Story: The Winners of the 2012 MasterMind Awards Are…
A museum, a filmmaker and a pair of chefs — profiled in this week’s cover story — are the winners of the 2012 Houston Press MasterMind Awards, which hook up cutting-edge organizations and individuals with a no-strings-attached, $2,000 check. Now in its fourth year, the MasterMind Awards recognizes creative Houstonians…
Chef Chat, Part 1: Roberto Castre of Latin Bites Cafe
Today, Latin Bites Cafe, the tiny seven-table Peruvian restaurant that received critical acclaim during its one year, five month reign in Houston’s warehouse district, is having its grand re-opening to the public in its brand spanking new Memorial location (5709 Woodway Dr.). At the helm of the bright, open kitchen…
Last Night: AWOLNATION At Warehouse Live
“AWOL.” That’s what Aaron Bruno’s friends called him in high school. When the school day was over, most of his friends would walk out together and say goodbye to one another, as is the norm for students. Bruno, meanwhile, had this strange habit of just leaving. He didn’t say goodbye…
Mistakes Were Made: A Comedy of Errors on the Phone
Be prepared. In Mistakes Were Made there will be silent parts. That’s because for the entire 90 minutes of the comedy opening at Stages Repertory Theatre next Friday, actor David Matranga is alone onstage; his main prop: a telephone he clings to like a life raft. We’ll hear his side…
Update: Rough Weather, Tornados Rolling Through Houston, Affecting Airports
As has been mentioned by weather forecasters in recent days, some pretty rough weather is passing through Houston this morning as part of a cold front. The storms are spanning high winds, torrential rain (some areas could receive up to five inches), flash flooding and potential tornadoes. According to a…
Tasting Notes: This Week in Wine Blogs
Bear on Wine: We’ve been having a blast following Texas wine legend Bear Dalton’s new blog, Bear on Wine. This week he weighs in with some of his insights into cork damage with a post entitled (caps his) MURDER, HE TASTED or ‘Death in the Desert’. We don’t want to…
Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Festival Announces Houston Date: Includes Slipknot, Slayer, Anthrax And More
This morning, the lineup for this summer’s mega-metal fest, the Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Festival, was released. It includes re-activated act Slipknot, warhorses Slayer, Anthrax on the Jagermeister side stage, and a third act to be named on March 5. This roadshow hits Houston on July 11 at the…
The Boys are Back…and Sometimes in Town
You may think you’ve traveled a long way to get to a show, but it’s unlikely you gone the distance that Stephen O’Brien has. In 2003 the Dublin, Ireland-based musician flew to Austin, primarily to catch a gig by King’s X and, as an added bonus, maybe soak up the…
HISD Awards $35 Million to Schools for Student Achievements
The Houston Independent School District on Tuesday handed out awards to teachers for student high scores on the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test. The ASPIRE Award program is part of an ongoing effort to reward teachers for the success of their students. According to an HISD press…
The Temperamentals Captures an Important Moment in Gay Rights History As It Entertains
The setup: Newly formed Celebration Theatre presents the Houston premiere of an important moment in the movement for gay rights, the founding of the Mattachine Society, an underground activist group that began in Los Angeles in the ’50s. The story is told through a series of brief scenes, conveying a…
One Year After Woman Gets Masters In The Beatles, We Hunt Down Most Bizarre College Music Courses
A year ago today, Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy of Ontario became the first person in the world to earn a master’s degree in The Beatles. I’m not quite sure what she’s doing now, but I do know she could probably kick anyone’s ass in Beatles trivia. This little anniversary of her graduation…
Teenage Mutant Arkham City? 5 Turtle Bosses We Hope Make It In
Rumors began circling this week that Rocksteady would not be following up Batman: Arkham City with another Dark Knight adventure, and would instead be working on using the same style to reboot the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For those who may only know the Turtles from their ’80s cartoon, we…
Riverwalk Eats: A Day in Downtown San Antonio
My fiance Dave and I took our first trip to San Antonio over the weekend to celebrate our birthdays (we’re a day and a year apart — luckily, I can take solace in the fact that the old man will always be one year older than me). We left Houston…
Comment of the Day: More Reasons to Un-Follow and De-Friend
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Show Me Your GIFs: Great Classic Rock ‘N Roll GIFs Galore
It seems to me that musical history is made up of fragments of indelible images, good and bad, that inform each person’s experience. Then there are the swatches of tunes that grab you by the heart strings or the throat, making you a fan for life. But it’s those moving…
Fast Times: My Fit Foods
The results of a recent cholesterol check had me driving straight past the drive-thru and searching for fast food that wouldn’t stop my heart. Enter My Fit Foods. It wasn’t just my sky-high lipid levels; I also needed to reboot my New Year’s “clean eating” resolution. In addition to their…
Oscar Categories That We Wish Existed
By now you have all seen this year’s Oscar nominations, released yesterday, in Beverly Hills, California. Nine films were nominated for Best Picture, including Hugo, Moneyball, War Horse, The Artist, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Midnight in Paris and The Tree of Life. Fun stuff, especially if you…
Dumb-Ass Arizona Law Keeps University of Houston-Published Books Out of Schools
Like the dreaded butterfly effect (the phenomenon, not the Ashton Kutcher movie, although that was pretty bad, too), a bizarre decision by an Arizona school official to shutter a Mexican-American studies class means kids won’t be reading a few well-regarded books published by the University of Houston’s Arte Publico Press…
Top 5 Hottest Women in Internet Comedy
They say chicks aren’t funny, mostly because women tend to have higher-pitched voices that can’t penetrate all the meat in some people’s heads. We love us some funny chicks, and if they’re hot on top of everything else, well then, that’s just a bonus. Since we spend even more time…
Shhhhh, Don’t Tell Anyone, but the Rockets Are Playing Really Well
While everyone was cheering on the Texans and fretting about whether or not Jim Crane would go completely nuts and change the Astros to the Craniums, a funny thing was happening at Toyota Center. The Rockets were winning. They have won their last seven games and are 8-2 in the…
The Top 10 Laziest Music Videos Ever
We’re obsessed with music videos lately, and have spent almost the whole of the weekend seeking new and brilliant ones in order to feature in our weekly column. We’re just so impressed with the capabilities open to modern artists at all strata of stardom, and how brilliant a piece of…
100 Creatives 2012: Sonja Roesch
What She Does: As an art gallery owner, Sonja Roesch has lots on her to-do list, but nothing is more important than making the final selection of the artwork that will hang in each show. “I think that’s really essential, for a gallery to chose wise,” she tells us, a…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Eater Houston: Reports of Red Onion’s imminent demise were confirmed this week when the cafe closed its final location last week. To add insult to injury, employees were reporting that instead of focusing on saving the restaurant, chef/owner Rafael Galindo was instead focused on filming and pitching a reality show…
Delicate Cutters: NOT Like Civil Wars
We received the new Delicate Cutters 2011 album Some Creatures on the same day that we received the new Dead Fingers album from one of our favorite labels, Big Legal Mess, the offshoot successor to Fat Possum. Too bad for Dead Fingers. The oeuvre of both bands is a mix…
26th Law and the Media Seminar Tackles the WikiLeaks Debate
The 26th Law and the Media Seminar will feature a discussion of the legal, ethical and practical implications of WikiLeaks. The mega site that has released hundreds of documents to the media over the past couple years stirred up a firestorm of controversy over how this information should be handled…
Distant Early Warning: Andrew W.K., Stryper, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Wicked Poseur, Say Anything
Andrew W.K.: Sun., March 18. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. The Boxer Rebellion, Canon Blue: Thu., April 12. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Brian Jonestown Massacre: Sat., April 28. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Cas Haley: Fri., Feb. 17. The Capitol At St. Germain, 705 Main, Houston. Dr. Acula: Tue.,…
The Astros May Be Changing Their Name? My 5 Suggestions
Yesterday afternoon, Astros owner Jim Crane built up more good will with the Houston community in about eight minutes than the team on the field has in the last six years when he announced that the 2012 season will feature cheaper beer ($5 beers!), cheaper tickets and permission to bring…
The 10 Dumbest Meat-Related Crimes
Last week, we brought you a short compendium of the dumbest fast food-related crimes, eventually reaching the conclusion that McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets make people do crazy, crazy things. (Don’t tell me that correlation doesn’t imply causation!) This week, we take a look at the dumb things that meat makes people…
Hans Frank: Not Safe For Work
After several weeks of semi-classical, jazz, and folk music, Leon’s Lounge takes a major swerve tonight with spiky haired Hans Frank. The front man of cow-thrash punkers Glambilly, Frank looks like he just stepped out of a bad Roxy Music video, and it’s just possible that Bryan Ferry may be…
The Choking Game: Texas Survey Says Lots of Kids Still Playing
Sixteen percent of Sam Houston State University students responding to a survey about “The Choking Game” reported to having played the dumb-ass, potentially fatal game. The Crime Victims’ Institute study states that, of the 827 students who completed the survey, males were more likely than females to have played; “students…
The Astros Allowing Outside Food Inside Next Season: Our Suggestions
The minor explosions you may have heard yesterday were the heads of Astros’ fans imploding over news that new owner Jim Crane could possibly change the name of the franchise next season — as well as its uniforms, ticket prices and Minute Maid Park’s food policies. It’s starting to feel…
And the Winner of Two Artopia VIP Tickets Is….
We got a lot of response to our giveaway offer for two free VIP tickets to the Houston Press fourth annual Artopia party at Winter Street Studios on January 28. And the person picked randomly from all our entrants is Mary B. The tickets get her into the private VIP…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The Woman Edition and DVD Giveaway
The Woman stars Pollyanna McIntosh and Sean Bridgers; Lucky McKee directs. The Setup: Director Lucky McKee and writer Jack Ketchum give us a violent and twisted morality tale in The Woman. (And we give some lucky readers copies of the DVD; details below.) Pollyanna McIntosh stars as a wild woman…
Texas or Florida: Who Has The Crazier Criminals? A Highly Scientific Comparison
Frankly, we were shocked when we started seeing on the web so much talk about how Florida has the country’s craziest criminals. Had everyone forgotten about Texas? Surely the Lone Star State could stack its insane and inane perpetrators up against anyone. So that’s what we decided to do. Our…
Douglas Paul McCoy / Pas Doctor Geronimo: Lufkin Indian Outlaw and K-2 Fan Debuts New Name in Court
Lufkin’s Douglas Paul McCoy seems hell-bent on setting the record for most appearances in Hair Balls crime stories. Late last week, he made an appearance in Angelina County Court that would have astounded even Doug Supernaw, up until now the undisputed superlative hero of Texas courtroom antics. According to The…
Which Were The Six Best Houston Rap Songs From The Nineties?
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask…
Motel Tropicana Brings Plenty of Comedy, Drama
The setup: Big Head Productions solicited short plays set in a seedy motel room, and presents the eight selections in an evening filled with considerable variety, a range of talent, and some powerful comedic and dramatic moments. The execution: The set has the requisite bed, a small table and chairs,…
Tuesday January 24, 2012 Deals of the Day
Save 50 percent ($15 for $30) on fresh, light tapas dishes that showcase a variety of seafood and crisp, vegetarian-friendly fare when you purchase today’s Voice Deal of the Day at Majorca Bistro & Tapas. At Majorca you will enjoy Mediterranean food with a strong North African influence, including favorites…
Who Gives a Shit About Katy Perry!? Vanessa Paradis is About to be Single!
Houston Press was ecstatic when slutwave superstar Katy Perry and comedian Russell Brand broke up, though there were some very different motivations amongst the staff for that joy. For instance, Craig Hlavaty chose that opportunity to place himself in the draft pick for being her next paramour, something he’s as…
The Ten Quickest Ways to Get Un-Followed or De-Friended on Twitter and Facebook
Anyone who spends an extended period of time on social networks like Facebook and Twitter understands that there are certain offenses that are nearly unforgivable. Just as in real life, there are lines that don’t need to be crossed. You might be slightly more tolerant of them online simply because…
Adrienne Warren Adds Cheerleading Stunts to Her Repertoire
Last time out, actress Adrienne Warren was touring in a revival of Dream Girls and before that she was in The Wiz. Now she’s hitting the boards in Bring It On: The Musical, a show in which dancing, singing and acting just isn’t enough. You have to do stunts. Because…
DEFCON Dining: Xuco Xicana, Plus: Have You Seen This Dog?
Dining out with children is an exercise in situational awareness. Each experience is unique, with different variables leading to different possible outcomes, DEFCON-like in their escalating threat levels. Keen observation, forward planning, and prior experience are critical in determining the proper strategy. Here at DEFCON Dining, we do the grunt-work…
Which Words Are Rappers Tired Of Rappers Using?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: OG Ron C, Mac, Preemo, O.N.E., Kiotti, Brad Gilmore, YS, Medicine Girl, Kyle Hubbard, Eskabel, Zavey, D-Risha, RoderickVonn Not Invited: Jacoby Jones This…
Supermodels Make Hot Supermodels: Top 10 Supermodel Children
Last week pictures of Cindy Crawford’s daughter surfaced across the intertubes. The little stunner is already following in her mother’s footsteps and modeling, at the ripe age of ten! That may seem a bit young to be hitting the catwalk, but you have to admit she has a look (no…
Fresh Juice at Snap Kitchen
I’ve been on a juice kick for the last few months. A good green juice is great for busy days and stressful times, and a far better alternative to my other stress food: Jack In The Box tacos. Mind you, I don’t have the required appliances to do the juicing…
Jerry Sandusky’s Ill-Advised Statement on Joe Paterno
On Sunday morning at 9:25 a.m. EST, legendary Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno was pronounced dead at the age of 85 after losing a swift battle with lung cancer. As you all know, Paterno had spent the waning moments of his existence as one of the more polarizing…
Executive Entertainers: America’s Most Musical Presidents
Big-money supporters were treated to the first indelible moment in Barack Obama’s reelection campaign last Thursday when the President crooned the opening lyric from Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” from the stage of the Apollo Theater in Harlem. It was just the sort of off-the-cuff instance that can humanize a…
The Astros Lowering Ticket and Beer Prices, Maybe Changing Unis and the Name?
I’ve written a lot of snark about Jim Crane in the months since he purchased the Astros. And let’s be honest, I’ll probably have a lot more snark in the days, months and years ahead. But let’s be more honest, there’s a lot that Crane has done with this team…
Pillsbury Special Edition “MegaChip” Chocolate Chip Cookies
Damn you, Doughboy. You pop that hip and giggle and pose with giant cookie, and suddenly I’m $3.39 poorer. I didn’t even notice until I was at the checkout that you were proffering “special edition” baked goods, which in my mind is dangerously close to that siren call phrase, “limited…
I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change: A Sweet, Rosy-Cheeked Revue
The setup: This intimate, four-character, Off-Broadway musical revue about relationships (1996) makes you feel better when you leave than when you come in, as its visionary producer James Hammerstein once said. There’s magic in that pronouncement, for this pleasant, unexciting, eager-to-please little show has made a lot of people feel…
Comment of the Day: Mario Must Go Edition
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Bastards, Thugs & Hoggs: This Week In Houston Rap Videos
Ah, rappers and music videos. Some are vehicles for self-promotion, others are tools used to promote a message, a gaggle of asses or some good ol’ wholesome debauchery. In the case of the Houston rap class, music videos are always eye opening glimpses into the future, either telling what a…
Spend Some Time with John Sonsini’s Painterly Paintings at Inman Gallery
Anyone acquainted with John Sonsini’s work knows the drill. The Angeleno would find subjects for his portrait paintings by picking up day laborers at known street corners and Home Depot parking lots, paying them their normal hourly wages to sit for him. They picked their clothes and poses, and Sonsini…
Top 5 Food Maneuvers That Only Work On Television
On TV, even a small French child is good at separating Oreos. As a little kid, I liked to eat my cereal in a clear bowl with bright-white milk with the box placed next to my bowl facing outward toward an imaginary audience. Just like in the commercials. For whatever…
Seriously Houston Weather, WTF???
There is an oft overused axiom about weather in Texas: If you don’t like it, wait. It owes to our ever-changing weather and the diversity of our state, but lately it feels like Houston’s climate has taken that to the extreme. One day is jacket weather and the next the…
Pop Rocks: Selene from Underworld or Alice from Resident Evil?
Underworld: Awakening was #1 at the box office last weekend, taking in $25 million with no advance promotional screenings and a marketing campaign consisting mostly of nonstop carnage and lingering shots of a leather/PVC/whatever-clad Kate Beckinsale wriggling through air shafts like a sexy xenomorph. Truly a winning combination. It was…
The Five Oddest Pro Bowl MVPs
Feel the Pro Bowl excitement!! This year, to try to get anyone to watch the game, the NFL has moved it to the dead week between the conference championships and the Super Bowl. So knock yourself out watching it, people. The game has almost always been pointless — football is…
Gothic Council Considers the Proper Seduction of Metal Heads
Pretend you’re a drug dealer, or if it’s more appropriate pretend you’re still a drug dealer. If our memory of the D.A.R.E program serves us well then the key to successful drug dealing in the acquisition of new clientele through free distribution of choice merchandise. Once they’re hooked, then they…
Where Are We Drinking?
The beer below goes great with a dozen oysters at this Houston restaurant — especially with news that Gulf oysters are expected to recover from the recent red tide epidemic. However, the season is still closed, so you’ll have to stick with East or West Coast oysters here for now…
Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Video Game Deaths
In the beginning… there was darkness. Then a small white circle raced across the darkness only to be rebounded by a white rectangle into another white rectangle and back again. Thus was the world of video games created, and for a long time it was very hard to deeply identify…
HGO’s La Traviata Changes Tenors at the Last Minute
Mexican tenor David Lomeli, who was scheduled to sing the Alfredo role in the Houston Grand Opera production of La Traviata, has had to bow out at the last minute due to illness. He has been replaced for at least the first several performances by Bryan Hymel, a New Orleans…
Keith Stone Look-Alike Robs Bellaire Bank
I saw The Toxic Avenger at the Alley Theatre over the weekend and learned from the program that one of the actors plays Keith Stone, the mullet-wearing Keystone beer guy in their television ads. We had no idea that he was also into robbing banks. Of course, it’s probably not…
Texas Porn Stars Stand Out Front and Center at AVN Awards
We know we’re the biggest state in the lower 48, but there seems to be an inordinate number of porn stars that come from the Lone Star State. Some were born here, some were born elsewhere and raised here, but most of them claim with pride their Texas roots, and…
Enjoy Your Lunar New Year With Some Of Music’s Greatest Butts
According to Chinese reckoning, today marks the lunar new year. It’s the Year of the Dragon. Specifically, the Year of the Water Dragon, which I’m told will bestow a peaceful energy on the coming year, favoring the ideals of negotiation and forward thinking. I know, right? BOOORING. We Americans know…
Patriots Seal AFC Title with a Kiss (w/ AWKWARD Video)
The Patriots and the Ravens played a classic AFC championship game yesterday that featured various twists and turns, including a couple of bizarre brain cramps from Pats quarterback Tom Brady, a “turn back the clock” performance by the hefty Vince Wilfork, and a late drive by the Ravens that could…
Friday Night: The Civil Wars at The Wortham Center
The Civil Wars Wortham Center January 20, 2012 Check out our slideshow of Civil Wars playing to a packed house. Strolling up Wortham Center’s grand staircase in advance of The Civil Wars show on Friday night, several thoughts went tumbling through Aftermath’s head. We weren’t certain what to expect from…
Lady Bartenders Kick Cocktail Ass at Speed Rack Houston
An arc of Plymouth gin shot briefly through the air at Gallery M Squared on Sunday night, leaping out of the bottle like liquid sparks as bartender Lindsey Heffron battled her way through a roster of drinks at the Houston leg of the Speed Rack bartending competition. Joan Jett’s “Bad…
Friday Night: Alabama Shakes at Continental Club
Alabama Shakes doesn’t like the “retro soul” label that often is attached to their brand of music. But, if their raucous set at Continental Club on Friday night is any indication, they should embrace it because they certainly owned it. “Y’all gon’ be alright,” singer Brittany Howard told the packed…
Google Shuttering Popular Photo Editing Tool Picnik: Top 8 Alternatives
Google announced that as of April 19, it will shut down Picnik, an online photo editing tool acquired by the company in 2010, and bundle some of the editing tools into their over-arching Google+ platform. The staff of Picnik remains with Google and apparently is working to add features from…
Best Thing I Ever Ate: Dips
I’ve been exploring The Best Things I Ever Ate around town. This time, I was on the hunt for Houston’s best dips: creamy avocado ranch, Buffalo chicken, spinach and artichoke – you name it, I’ve tried it. All while looking for the city’s best. And I certainly found it in…
Steven Tyler’s National Anthem: Not Enough Zoobie-Dee-Dah Or Zippa-Doobie-Sha-Bop?
I have now watched Steven Tyler’s rendition of the National Anthem, that he performed before yesterday’s big New England Patriots and Baltimore Ravens championship game, about five times straight. I enjoyed it, because it’s Steven Tyler and Steven Tyler is crazy as shit. Just read his recent autobiography. It gives…
Reginald Eaglin Charged in Death of Montrose Salon Owner
We reported to you this morning that Scott Ellis Childress, 46, had been beaten to death over the weekend at his Montrose-area salon. According to a media report, Reginald Eaglin has been charged with murder in the death of Childress. According to police reports, Childress and Eaglin got into an…
Saturday Night: Kendrick Lamar at Warehouse Live
There’s nothing in Kendrick Lamar’s catalog that suggests he’s a capacity crowd artist. He doesn’t chase radio glory. He doesn’t make what you call, um, hits. He’s just starting to log big name cosigns. Yet, on Saturday, Warehouse Live was packed from end to end with hip-hop fans eager to…
Ingredient of the Week: Vietnamese New Year Cake
Happy New Year! Or as the Vietnamese say, Chuc mung nam moi! It’s the lucky year of the Dragon — those born between today and February 9, 2013, are predicted to live fortunate, prosperous lives. And what better way to celebrate the new year than by eating banh chung or…
Swag Bag: The Divide and Underworld Awakening
The Divide stars Michael Biehn, Lauren German and Rosanna Arquette: Xavier Gens directs. Michael Biehn fans get ready to freak out — we have some super swag to give away for The Divide…including a grand prize with a full-sized poster signed by Biehn and a four-pack of Anchor Bay horror…
Roy W. Scott, 50, Bayou Body Count No. 10
According to media reports, police are investigating the fatal shooting of a man found dead in an auto repair shop over the weekend. Police report Roy W. Scott, 50, of Houston was found dead at Charlie’s Transmission Shop at 7012 N. Shepherd Saturday morning. He had been shot once and…
Friday Night: Tedeschi Trucks Band at Verizon Wireless Theater
When the 11-piece Tedeschi Trucks Band caravan rolled into Houston, it was with the fresh knowledge that Etta James – a musical hero of singer/guitarist Susan Tedeschi – has passed away earlier in the day. So it wasn’t surprising that the group pulled out a tribute. “We’ve got to do…
Must Like Texas Wine: The Wine Slinger Chronicles, a New Guide to Texas Wines
It seems inevitable that the authors of the two guides to the wines of Texas have names that sound like they’re straight out of the movie Stagecoach: Wes Marshall published The Wine Roads of Texas in 2002 (Maverick), and now “Doc” Russ Kane is about to release The Wine Slinger…
The Fresh Ink Series Gets a Fresh Space
What are you doing tonight? Nothing? Great. Grab your theater hat and head over to the Spring Street Studios for Mildred’s Umbrella’s staged theater reading series “Fresh Ink” — in their brand-new theater space. “Fresh Ink” isn’t all that “fresh,” so to speak. Mildred’s originally started the play-reading series back…
Eddie Vedder To Play Solo Show At Jones Hall On April 22
In even more touring news that will delight graying grungers, ukelele fanatics, and Pearl Jam freaks alike, Eddie Vedder is coming to Jones Hall on April 22 for a solo set, with Glen Hansard handling opening duties. This Houston show is a part of a 13-city U.S. swing which… wait…
There’s No Killing the Zombie Banh Mi at Cafe TH
“I’m ready to start eating,” muttered a nervous-looking John McIntyre, a senior linebacker for the University of Houston, as he waited for the 22-inch Zombie banh mi to land in front of him at Cafe TH on Saturday night. “I’m sick of waiting,” he sighed. In the crowd, a friend…
City Settles Red-Light Camera Dispute for $4.78 Million
Well, well, well, the City of Houston announced over the weekend that our long, horrible nightmare is over ding dong the wicked witch is dead they have settled their lawsuit with American Traffic Solutions to rid us of the scourge red-light traffic cameras FOREVER once and for all. Setting aside…
The Toxic Avenger: Pure Entertainment
The setup: Based on Lloyd Kaufman’s 1984 cult-movie classic, the musical version of Toxic Avenger arrives at the Alley, revamped after a long Off-B’way run, and brings broad humor, compelling music and top-drawer acting with it. The execution: The story line in the musical follows the movie pretty faithfully, which…
Florence + The Machine In Houston May 2 At Verizon Wireless Theater
In touring news which is sure to delight many Houstonians, Florence + The Machine have announced a May 2 date at Verizon Wireless Theater. This will be the first show here by F+ M ever. This Houston show comes just before their New Orleans Jazz Fest appearance the following weekend…
Friday Night: Mountain Goats at Fitzgerald’s
Let us be clear from the very beginning — this member of the Rocks Off Aftermath team isn’t the most storied fan of The Mountain Goats. Though we’d heard of the legendary John Darnielle before, out first actual exposure to his music was in 2007 with Heretic Pride, and we…
Scott Ellis Childress, 46, Bayou Body Count No. 9
A man was beaten to death in Montrose around noon Friday. Media reports say an altercation occurred at the Scott Childress Studio salon in the 1700 block of Welch. Police say they received a call for medical help, and found a man severely beaten who soon died. KHOU reports a…
What’s Cooking This Week?
I’ve been on a healthier cooking kick for the New Year and so far, soooo good! My cousin Franny asked me for some lower carb recipes. Since cutting down (but not cutting out) carbs never hurt anyone, I’ve made it my inspiration for the coming week. Here’s what I’m making:…
ABC’s The Revolution: Hit or Miss?
ABC is dedicating five hours a week to the concept of personal revolution with its new show called — uh — The Revolution. The show premiered last week in the time slot where One Life to Live aired before cancellation. OLTL fans are probably not going to find a lot…
Comment of the Day: A Perfect Description of the Creepy Baylor Lecturer/Child-Porn Fan’s Mugshot
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Jandek Performing “Strobe Light”-Heavy Concert at Big Star Bar
Brad Moore, owner of Big Star Bar and Grand Prize, was driving through Roswell, New Mexico when his cell phone blew up. “It was Jandek, I shit you not,” says Moore about the experimental musician who’s traditionally an enigma around here, but has been in the public eye more of…
An Auspicious Dinner at Nardino Ristorante
I am usually not one to predict the future. When it comes to prognostication, I am far too conservative and neurotic to articulate publicly my thoughts on upcoming fads, fashions, movements, etc. Seriously, identifying the Big Cupcake as a 2012 food trend was really going out on a limb for…
Frame Dance Production at The Photobooth
Friday night, Art Attack swung by The Photobooth on Montrose for the first of a four-part series of installation dance pieces entitled “Framed!” by Frame Dance Productions. A small crowd formed outside the door, anxiously awaiting the removal of a large, white wall that blocked the entranceway. When the wall…
Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites
If Sunday’s AFC championship proved anything, it’s that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans’s grasp and on Billy Cundiff’s…
Joshua Bell Was Great; Houston’s Audience Not So Much
It was Brahms and bad manners Friday night at the Joshua Bell and Sam Haywood concert. We’ll get to the bad manners in a bit, so let’s start with the Brahms: It was glorious. Thanks to Bell, we fell in love with Brahms all over again. Bell, who still has…
Sing While You May: The Top 10 Best Songs of Edward Ka-Spel
There is no more brilliant musician and lyricist than Edward Ka-Spel, the leader of the Legendary Pink Dots who turns 58 years old today. Ka-Spel has appeared on something like 50 albums in his lifetime, with the Dots, solo, and with cEvin Key in Tear Garden. His songs dance the…
The Cougars Would Like You to Meet Jimmie Jones
Jimmie Jones doesn’t yet have his name on the back of his jersey. He’s just a walk-on. His stat sheet doesn’t look that impressive, and he’s played in less than half of the Houston Cougars’ basketball games this season. But if Saturday night was any indication, then Jimmie Jones could…
Where Are We Eating?
This bright green shade on this slice of cheesecake from a west Houston bakery evokes a Grasshopper cookie — which is good, because that’s exactly what it tastes like. The slice was also rich (and big) enough to split between two people; this is no one-bite dessert. Look familiar? If…
Being Human: The Vampire Show You Should Be Watching
It’s unclear whether humans were capable of sexual feelings before vampire myths came into being, but everyone is surely feeling very sexy these days thanks to all the sharp-toothed shadow dwellers taking over screens big and little in Twilight, the Vampire Diaries and True Blood. Not ones to leave behind…
Occupy Houston: “Who Killed Democracy?”
Craig MalisowThe Death of Democracy, by Occupy HoustonBefore marching to Discovery Green Saturday, the Occupy Houston folks occupying a sliver of Tranquility Park performed a brief play about how corporate greed blows, but it’s all good ’cause capital-D-Democracy will come back to kick ass. Written and directed by Caleb Travis,…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we’re going to try to organize an anti-SOPA fundraiser. Here’s how it would go: the menu consists of SOPA-pillas, delicious Mexican batter envelopes served with honey and sugar. But seconds after your waiter brings you your SOPA-pillas, a…
Craig James for Senate: To Know Him Is to Not Like Him, Polls Say
A new poll for Texas’s open U.S. Senate seat has bad news for Houston’s Craig James, former SMU star and ESPN analyst. Most people don’t know the guy. Those that do, don’t like him. James had the biggest gap between “favorable” and “unfavorable” ratings, a whopping 15 percent. Two-thirds of…
Etta James: A Closer Look Into One Of The Greatest Voices Ever Heard
Etta James, almost universally praised as one of the finest voices of our era, has passed away at 73. Ironically, Ms. James had been discovered and recorded by rhythm and blues pioneer Johnny Otis, who passed away only two days ago. Ms. James, was inducted into the Rock and Roll…
Houston Texans “Super Bowl Tattoo Guy” Speaks in the Aftermath of the 2011 Season
In the aftermath of the Texans’ 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones’s contract) was, “What do you think ‘Texans Super Bowl Tattoo Guy’ is thinking?” Truth be told, after…
Happy Birthday Paul Stanley: His Top 6 Non-Kiss Songs
Today the man who was born Stanley Harvey Eisen and later became the Starchild Paul Stanley turns 60 years old. You are always defined by your favorites KISS member. If it’s Stanley, like with us, then you’re an outgoing, charismatic person who lives for fun. If it’s Peter Criss, then…
Connor Barwin Shows Up at Our Artopia Preview Party! You Should Have Been There!
Check out the rest of our pics from last night’s Artopia Preview Party at Roak. Texans linebacker Connor Barwin showed up at last night’s Artopia Preview Party and posed for a few photos with devoted fans like the one above. The party at club Roak, 3320 Kirby Drive, was held…
Upcoming Events: Beer Fundraisers, Wine Dinners and Resolutions
Beer lovers, pay attention: February is your month! Up first is the next Open The Taps fundraiser, held on Sunday, February 12, at the Southern Star Brewery in Conroe from 2 to 5 p.m. (Trust us, February is one of the best months for hanging out in the charmingly un-air-conditioned,…
Taqueria Arandas Owner Gets Year in Prison on Tax Charges
Jesus Huerta, the owner of two Taqueria Arandas restaurants in Houston, has been sentenced to a year and a day in federal prison for filing false tax returns that underestimated income by $4.6 million over five years. Huerta was also ordered to pay $543,646 in restitution; he’s already repaid $276,000…
In Memoriam: Megaupload (2005 – 2012)
Yesterday, one of our favorite file sharing sites was struck by a government takedown around the early portions of the morning. It was swift, it was brutal and it could have been blamed on Kim Kardashian. Losing MegaUpload was a giant blow to musicians who love uploading zip or rar…
The Roots Of Jimbo Mathus: From Charley Patton To Charlie Parker
Jimbo Mathus’s latest work, Confederate Buddha, was easily one of the most overlooked roots albums of 2011. Don’t worry, we sort of slept through it too, but that just means you can make up for that with us by checking him out Saturday night at the Continental Club, with opening…
Taste Test Marathon: The Nutrition Shake Challenge
If there is anything scarier than a nutrition bar supplement, it’s a nutritional shake supplement. It really is almost impossible to squeeze actual, delicious flavor into a supplement when the point is to squeeze in as much protein and squeeze out sugar and carbohydrates. Still, some shakes and drinks are…
Swag Bag: These Lucky Readers Are Going to See Pina
These lucky readers have won screening passes to see Pina at the Sundance Cinemas Houston: Kristian F, Cathy P, Michelle K and Raul G. Winners have been notified by e-mail. Keep reading Art Attack for more opportunities to snag some swag, including an upcoming super prize-package for The Divide (it…
Is Texas Going to Have a Primary? Redistricting Maps Go Back to Drawing Board
The Texas primary is allegedly a little more than two months away, but some people still don’t know what congressional or state-legislature district they’re in, and the people running for those seats don’t know who to court. The U.S. Supreme Court today rejected a redistricting map drawn up by a…
Tickets For Van Halen’s Houston Date Go On Sale Next Saturday
You have all been asking, and now LiveNation is telling. Tickets for Van Halen’s June 24th gig at Toyota Center go on sale next Saturday, January 289, and 10 a.m. Tickets will be available online at LiveNation.com or toyotacentertix.com. You know the ticketing drill. A few weeks back LiveNation told…
Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman to Present Two New Movies at the Alamo Drafthouse Saturday Night
Lloyd Kaufman,the co-founder of Troma Entertainment (source of such legendary films as The Toxic Avenger and Surf Nazis Must Die), will be at the Alamo Drafthouse Mason Park this Saturday night to present two of the studio’s newest films. The first is Father’s Day, based on the urban legend of…
Odd Pair: What Wine Do You Serve with Your Baked Potato?
Baked potatoes at our house are much more than a meal. They are a religion. We don’t just do sour cream. We do sour cream-infused with freshly ground horseradish, a kiss of white wine, and kosher salt. We don’t do “bacon bits.” We do crumbled, crispy, center-cut bacon that’s been…
Roger Rouland: Creepy Ex-Baylor Lecturer Cops to Kiddy Porn Charges, Awaits Sentencing
As Bo Diddley once famously sang, you can’t judge a book by lookin’ at the cover. Except when you can, we would add, which certainly seems the case with Roger Rouland. The former Baylor lecturer pleaded guilty this week to possession of child porn two-and-a-half years after janitorial workers found…
Were Musicians Given Progress Reports, Lil Wayne Gets All Fs, Apparently
There’s this deli across the street from our work. It’s an okay place to get a cheesesteak but it’s an excellent place to get a burger. And for a brief period last year, it was A1 territory for fistfights. Kids were going nuts with that shit. They’d show up, fight,…
Calm After the Storm: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
Person of Interest: “No ‘Legacy’ Is So Rich As Honesty”
That’s Shakespeare, homes. Though, as it turns out, not really applicable to last night’s episode at all. In passing along one of the Machine’s numbers last week, Mr. Finch effectively showed Detective Carter his hand. And by thwarting Watson in his attempted murder, Carter did a good job playing into…
RIP Etta James: A Dynamic Voice And An R&B Legend
Etta James, whose fiery voice helped influences generations of R&B singers, has died at the age of 73, after a long bout with leukemia. James, known best for her ballad “At Last”, had been ill for sometime, and had went home to be with family just a few weeks ago…
Randall Freeze: South Texas Town Planner Cleared of Alleged Murder-for-Hire Plot
“If it wasn’t so devastating on my client’s life, it’s almost comic.” So said defense attorney Arnold Govella, whose client Randall Freeze was no-billed by a San Patricio County grand jury this week. Last year, Freeze, head of the Aransas Pass Planning and Zoning Commission and a leading area citizen,…
Openings & Closings: Barcadia Burns Bridges
As we slowly move out of the winter doldrums, restaurant news is getting much more exciting — and coming at us much more quickly. On Tuesday, two big announcements got the food community all atwitter: The Burger Guys announced they’d be opening a second location downtown on February 1. And…
Project Runway All-Stars: Muppet Madness
This week on PRAS: The designers have one day and $150 to design a flamboyant cocktail dress for “one of the most famous fashionistas in the world.” Miss Piggy! Miss Piggy will be live in the judge’s chair for the runway show. Michael calls her “fashion’s dream client” and means…
Comment of the Day: Other Annoying Tweets & Facebook Updates
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
How To: Lighten Up Cake
My birthday is coming up, and after the shit ton of holiday sweets I devoured last month, I’m trying to watch what I eat. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have my (birthday) cake and eat it too. In fact, my inner fat kid will probably try to shank me…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Haywire
Title: Haywire So Is Gina Carano The Next Big Action Star? She certainly has the acting chops for it. Uhhh… Exactly. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Two-and-a-half Jean Claude Van Dammes doing the splits out of five. Brief Plot Synopsis: Private security operative is betrayed, kills (almost)…
KAB’s Bully On Tha Beat: The Monster Only Looks Familiar
“There’s no place on the earth for the righteous.” -KAB, being insightful “I’ll put a prize on your head; I’ll raffle you.” -KAB, being clever KAB, budding rapper and occasional criminal, released his Bully On Tha Beat tape. Here it is. Download it. It deserves to be in your iPod…
Bartender Chat: Sikica Crosby of Cecil’s Pub
I come from a long line of martini drinkers. One school of thought holds that the gin martini is the one true martini, but my grandparents enjoyed the vodka version of the cocktail nightly with the news for more than 60 years. Maybe my love for the vodka martini is…
Update: Richard Serra Is Good to Go at the Menil Starting March 1
Update: We’ve been informed that Richard Serra’s site-specific installation will be up for the duration of the exhibit (through June 10). Richard Serra is pretty famous, but even art know-it-alls may be unaware of his non-sculptural production, which is showcased in “Richard Serra Drawing: A Retrospective.” “It’s the first retrospective…
Owls and Coogs Disappointing Basketball Fans, Dammit
The Rice Owls (11-8, 2-2) lost a basketball game they should have won on Wednesday night. The Houston Cougars (9-9, 1-4) were blown out yet again. It’s turning into another disappointing men’s basketball season in Houston, Texas. It’s not supposed to have been this way. Not this season. For the…
Week in Photos: Boarded Up
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
Kindle Goes Solar, But Leaves the Fire in the Dark
A new product for the Kindle family of e-readers has hit the market, but sorry Kindle Fire owners, it’s not for you. The new SolarKindle Lighted Cover is for the Kindle 4. The front of the cover is a solar-panel and reports are that as little as one hour in…
Football! AFC and NFC Title Game Best Bets!
We interrupt this Texans-grieving for an update on the Alabama tea bagger and my AFC and NFC title game picks! (I’m pretty sure when my parents sent me off to college, they didn’t think I’d be typing that sentence in my job.) The main culprit in the video from Wednesday’s…
RIP Johnny Otis, the Godfather of Rhythm and Blues
Johnny Otis, one of the creators of rock and roll but primarily remembered as the godfather of rhythm and blues, has passed away at 90. Otis died at his home in the Los Angeles suburb of Altadena. A consummate band leader and showman who was of Greek descent and changed…
100 Creatives 2012: Enrique Carreón-Robledo
Enrique Carreón-Robledo truly believes that his fate was written in the stars. He did not come from a musical family, and it was by chance that he stumbled upon an old gentleman sitting outside near his home in Mexico, teaching children how to play the mandolin. Mesmerized, the young Carreón-Robledo…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 5 Martinis
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants. There’s…
App of the Week: Dragon Dictation and Dragon Go!
App: Dragon Dictation and Dragon Go! Platform: iPhone, Android Website: http://www.nuance.com Cost: Free So, let’s say you decided earlier in 2011 that you were going to upgrade your iPhone 3GS to an iPhone 4. Let’s also say that you were impatient and had no desire to wait until, supposedly, a…
Union Protest at Comcast Friday Over Low-Income Kids Internet Program
Back in September, Comcast made a deal with the Federal Communications Commission as part of its takeover of NBC and Universal Studios that it would provide low-cost Internet services and a cheaply priced computer to low-income families — but that hasn’t happened in the Houston area, according to union leader…
Gelareh Bagherzadeh: Police Unsure If Murder Was Due to Politics Or Robbery
Houston police are unsure if the shooting death of Iranian activist Gelareh Bagherzadeh was politically motivated or simply a botched robbery, Homicide Captain David Gott said Thursday. The 30-year-old Houston-based student activist was found dead in her car at about 12:30 a.m. Monday morning. Gott said it appeared that Bagherzadeh,…
Bruce Springsteen’s New Single and a Preemptive Review of His Upcoming Album
Like any red-blooded American rock and roll fan, I am looking forward to the next year to be filled with Bruce Springsteen. The man has a new album, Wrecking Ball, coming on March 6, a massive tour in the planning stages, and he’s set to be the keynote speaker at…
Dear Hollywood, Get Some New Ideas: Goodfellas, Titanic 3D
Last week, it was announced that AMC, original drama channel numero uno, would be officially backing what has been an under the radar development for a television series based on the movie Goodfellas. My first reaction to the news, which trickled through the intertubes in the last year or so,…
Rick Perry’s Decisions Prove Fast Food Is Better Than Jogging
Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race today, finally coming to grips with a reality most had accepted on his behalf four months ago. In doing so, he proved conclusively an important point: Fast food is better for you than jogging. At least when it comes to decision-making. After…
Alvin Fielder Talks Free Jazz, Working for Tricky Dicky and About Dying A Few Times
Alvin Fielder helped found the Association for the Advancement of Creative Musicians (AACM) in Chicago, worked for the Nixon Administration and spent much of his life running the family drug store. However, hearing him talk about all of his accomplishments by phone from his Mississippi home, winning Nameless Sound’s “Resounding…
Question of the Week: What Does a Jumbaco Really Look Like?
JUMBACO! JUMBACO! I’ve found myself unconsciously singing the annoyingly catchy Jack In The Box ad jingle in the car dozens of times since first viewing the commercial above. I hate myself for it. But as deep as my self-loathing goes, my morbid curiosity runs even deeper. (See also: the Skittles…
Swizz Beatz is the CEO of Shuttered Megaupload…Wait, What?
We’ve all failed as music journalists. Swizz Beatz is the CEO of Megaupload.com and no one seemed to notice? No one, except Wikipedia (yes, that bastion of factual information on the web), which lists Swizzy’s government handle, Kaseem Dean, as the head honcho of Megaupload. Megaupload’s “About Us” section also…
Some Freeport Folks Don’t Want to Live by Proposed LNG Plant
Residents of a quiet community near the Brazoria National Wildlife Refuge are worried that their hood won’t be peaceful if a new neighbor moves in — a liquefied natural gas plant, complete with new pipelines delivering billions of cubic feet of fuel daily. You can pretty much guess the story:…
Happy Zea Mays Everta Day: 5 Unique DIY Popcorn Seasoning Recipes
Get out your giant bowl and keep the floss handy, because today is National Popcorn Day! Aren’t you excited? Wait, what? You didn’t know there was a popcorn day? Me neither…until just now. I have no idea where or how this “holiday” originated, but I’m sure as hell gonna celebrate…
State Settles With Johnson & Johnson Over Risperdal: $158 Million
A drug company accused of fraudulently promoting the antipsychotic Risperdal for use in Texas’s Medicaid system has settled a state Attorney General’s lawsuit for $158 million. The AG’s office, one of several across the country to sue Janssen Pharmaceuticals (a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson) for fraudulent marketing, had sought…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
It’s the weekend and we’ve got lots to do, so let’s get to it. On Friday, Art Attack will be at the “2012 HCP Print Auction Exhibition,” along with hundreds of other photography fans. Individuals and organizations from around the world donate photos for the Center to auction. Some of…
Health Department Roundup
Slow week for punitive measures — the Health Department issued no citations and temporarily closed just one place. Looks like you’ll have to get your schadenfreude elsewhere. Try reading a few stories about the former captain of the Costa Concordia, that should work. The recipient of that closure order was…
To Recork Or Not To Recork an Old Port?
A few weeks ago, in the wake of a controversial post and a contentious comment thread on cork, reader Jay posed the following conundrum: We have some very old Port[o] that still has a few years left before it meets the 21-22 year optimum time frame. What is your opinion…
Lunchtime Video Goodness: The Oilers & Browns, Freezing Their Butts Off in 1977
Ah, NFL Films circa 1977. This bit of net goodness features comical musical accompaniment that is, thankfully, no longer on Steve Sabol’s playlist. It also features the Houston Oilers freezing their asses off in snowbound Cleveland’s Municipal Stadium. This is old-time football: love the empty folding chairs in the snowpile…
Happy Birthday Janis Joplin: Kozmic Pearl’s Myrna Sanders On The Late Rock Icon
Today would have been rock great and former Port Arthur resident Janis Joplin’s 69th birthday, a fact that would have Joplin snicker for the next year. Since her death in 1970, at the sad magical age of 27, the legend of Joplin has grown immensely, with her vocal style and…
Happy Birthday Paula Deen!: Great Butter-Stained GIFs
Paula Deen is too easy of a target for the ire of the Internet. She cooks with copious amounts of butter, and has just that right mixture of cheerfulness and Southern sass to drive people crazy. Then, this past week we found out she has been living with diabetes. Not…
Feds Indict Charles Cannon, Three Others on Hate-Crime Charge for Bus-Stop Beating
A federal grand jury has indicted four men in the beating of a black man at a Houston bus stop in August. Charles Cannon, 26; Michael McLaughlin, 40; Brian Kerstetter, 32; and Joseph Staggs, 49, were indicted on one charge each of violating the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr…
The Space City Beat Battle & The Best H-Town Producers Ever
Despite a venue conflict, the championship edition of the Space City Beat Battle will go on Saturday evening at the Mercury Room. If you’ve never been to one it’s almost like watching a ritualistic rite of passage where cocksure arrogance and chest pounding reign supreme. Sample based producers who love…
Win Two VIP Tickets to the Houston Press Artopia Party
Okay, so the Houston Press is about to throw its annual Artopia party at Winter Street Studios at the end of this month — a celebration of all things arty and the people who are so inclined. We’re offering a special chance to win two VIP tickets. That gets you…
The 10 Dumbest Fast Food-Related Crimes
Tuesday’s news that a homeless woman had been arrested for “offering BJs” in exchange for Chicken McNuggets at an L.A.-area McDonald’s sunk the whole fast food-crime genre to a new low. For years, there have been an increasing number of weird and silly fast food-related crimes, but this latest one…
Rick Perry Quits: Five Months of Comic Greatness Down the Drain
When Rick Perry first announced his intention to be the leader of the free world back in August, we were gleeful at the comic possibilities his race would bring. Alas, the free world, or at least that part of it that isn’t rabid Tea Party frothers, didn’t want Perry. He…
From Rapper To Actor, Chingo Bling Goes to The Sundance Film Festival
When you think of the big, international film festivals, Sundance is definitely one of the first that comes to mind. Held annually in Park City, Utah, the festival showcases new work from American and international independent filmmakers. Movie lovers flock to the city to catch the next Academy Award winner…
Ingredient of the Week: Korean Seasoned Soy Bean Paste
Last week, we brought you gochujang, a red pepper paste used in Korean cuisine. This week, we give you ssamjang, a Korean seasoned dipping paste that uses gochujang as an ingredient. What is it? Ssamjang is a thick and spicy dipping paste that consists of doenjang (fermented soy bean paste),…
Duct Tape Messiah Redux
Part of a storied singer-songwriter scene, former Houstonians Gurf Morlix and Blaze Foley were living in Montrose during the Urban Cowboy craze but were not impressed. In fact, according to Morlix, they worked so much they “hardly ever had a night off, and if we did we certainly weren’t going…
Super Mario Crossover 2: 10 Characters We Wish They’d Add
Exploding Rabbit Games has unleashed a trailer for Super Mario Crossover 2, its follow-up to its online hit that allowed you to play through the original Super Mario Bros. using classic NES characters like Simon Belmont, Samus Aran and Bill from Contra (Which we all picked first because giving someone…
Dinner with Dad: Kim Phat Hu Tieu Nam Vang
Every time I go to dinner with my dad I discover a new restaurant, and my last dinner with him was no exception. I told him I was craving noodles, particularly egg noodles, and he directed us to Kim Phat Hu Tieu Nam Vang on Bellaire and Wilcrest. If there’s…
Comment of the Day: Sasquatch Sighting?
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Pop Rocks: Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out, George
After much soul searching and agonizing (and in no way an attempt to drum up publicity in advance of his new movie), George Lucas has decided to retire from big budget movies: George Lucas’s cinematic tribute to the Tuskegee Airmen, Red Tails, opens in theaters on Friday, and it might…
Pop Rocks: George, We’ll Always Have The Star Wars Holiday Special
After much soul searching and agonizing (and in no way an attempt to drum up publicity in advance of his new movie), George Lucas has decided to retire from big budget movies: George Lucas’s cinematic tribute to the Tuskegee Airmen, Red Tails, opens in theaters on Friday, and it might…
The Five Most Cringe-Worthy Social Media Status Updates
We all know that certain people just overshare. These are people for whom the acronym “TMI” was invented. They walk into a party and immediately begin telling anyone who will listen about their violent ex or their bowel issues. The good thing about these people is that you can walk…
Happy Birthday To Dolly Parton, The Backwoods Barbie!
She’s an eight-time Grammy award winning musician, an Oscar nominated actress, theme-park owner and today, she’s the birthday girl, turning 66. I mean, obviously not all of her is 66 as she has proudly stated “If I see something sagging, bagging and dragging, I’m going to nip it, tuck it,…
Charlize Theron and Her Crappy Movie Take Top Chef: Texas Even Further Off the Rails
Charlize Theron is an actress from South Africa who lives in Los Angeles and is currently filming a shitty-looking Kristen Stewart movie set in England, so naturally she’s the best choice for this week’s episode of Top Chef: Texas. This show continues to make less and less sense the more…
Alvin Fielder and Nameless Sound: A Profile on the 2012 “Resounding Vision Award” Winner
Out of all of Alvin Fielder’s accomplishments — co-founding the Association for the Advancement of Creative Musicians (AACM), contributing to free jazz and improv essentials, working for the Nixon Administration and running the family drug store — winning Nameless Sound’s “Resounding Vision Award” may be number one for the drummer…
Maria Garcia Delao: Molested Sleeping 13-Year-Old Girl, Cops Say
Police say a 13-year-old girl awoke one night last spring to find Maria Garcia Delao, 27, fondling her. The girl was a relative of Delao’s boyfriend and was spending a night last May in her apartment when the alleged attack occurred. The girl told her mother about the incident in…
Joshua Bell
Grammy Award-winning violinist Joshua Bell seems to be playing a lineup of greatest hits from the Romantic period for his Society for the Performing Arts concert. “It wasn’t meant to be chronological, though it sort of is,” confirms Bell. In the first half of the concert, he’ll be performing Mendelssohn’s…
Bring It On: The Musical
Last time out, playwright Jeff Whitty put foul-mouthed puppets on stage and won a Tony for Avenue Q. So why go from that to Bring It On: The Musical (currently at Houston’s Hobby Center courtesy of Theatre Under the Stars), spun off from the 2000 movie starring Kirsten Dunst? “I…
The Divide
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who want to see an apocalyptic movie starring Michael Biehn, and the kind who don’t. (It’s our understanding that the kind who don’t number in the dozens.) If you happen to be in the majority, you’re in luck this…
”9 by Mick Johnson”
We know that the exhibit ”9 by Mick Johnson” is going to be about golf and golf courses. Beyond that, it’s all up in the air. That’s because Johnson hasn’t built the installation pieces yet. Not only has he not built them, but the plans and ideas he came in…
Spamalot
It’s hard to resist the charmingly irreverent comedy of Monty Python, the hilarious British geniuses behind Spamalot. Written by Python’s Eric Idle and John Du Prez, the 2005 Tony Award-winning musical tells a naughty and laugh-out-loud version of the Arthurian Legend of the Holy Grail. The knights who go on…
The Toxic Avenger
Only six months after appearing in Rock of Ages at the Hobby Center, Constantine Maroulis is back in Houston. This time he’s at the Alley Theatre playing Melvin Ferd the Third in the musical The Toxic Avenger. “He’s an earth scientist who hopes to rid New Jersey of all its…
Waste Land
Garbage as art? Why not? In Rio de Janeiro’s municipal garbage dump, ironically named “The Garden,” poor trash pickers called catadores work and live in and among the veritable mountain of Rio’s daily tons of refuse. The close-knit community is the star of Lucy Walker’s documentary Waste Land, which just…
Hedda Gabler
She might be the meanest woman in all of modern literature, but she sure looks good holding a pistol. Henrik Ibsen’s Hedda Gabler lies, cheats and steals her way through her boring housewife life until the bitter end. And it is the bitterest of endings! The chilly 19th-century story revolves…
Galveston Restaurant Week
You’ll have seven full days to enjoy the first-ever Galveston Restaurant Week, and you’ll need it. Some 30 eateries are participating, and all are offering signature multi-course meals. Galindo’s, a longtime island mainstay, is serving up a three-course dinner for $45. You get your choice of shrimp bisque or salad…
”Highlights of the Peter Blum Edition Archive”
A print publisher who worked with all the leading contemporary American and European artists, Peter Blum made a gift to the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston of more than 40 finished projects by some 23 artists in 1996. As a bonus, he included all of the related preparatory materials. In…
Vertigo
Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, a tangle of deception and desire, stars Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak. Stewart is Scottie, a San Francisco detective who’s been put out of commission by the onset of acrophobia. He takes on what should be a simple case for a friend, following the man’s wife on…
“2012 HCP Print Auction Exhibition”
All you Jackie O fans, be sure to catch the “2012 HCP Print Auction Exhibition.” Among the pieces is Jackie Summer, a wonderful shot of the then-Mrs. Kennedy by Jacques Lowe. The 1960 color image shows a young, elegant Jackie in a simple sleeveless dress, her hair blowing in the…
Margarett Root Brown Reading Series: Margaret Atwood
Science fiction author Margaret Atwood is best known for her novels The Handmaid’s Tale and Oryx & Crake. Oryx’s sequel The Year of the Flood, an examination of mankind in a postapocalyptic world, solidified her reputation as a master of the genre. Most recently, she published In Other Worlds: SF…
”12/21, Accrochage 2012: Celebrating 21 years”
Gallery Sonja Roesch is celebrating more than two decades in business with “12/21, Accrochage 2012: Celebrating 21 years.” The exhibition may be the most difficult Roesch has ever assembled, because she’ll be including work from most of the artists the gallery has shown. The mix of artists accounts for the…
Nevada Barr
Author Nevada Barr has written 16 books in her series that features park ranger Anna Pigeon. In The Rope, Barr takes us back to the beginning of Pigeon’s adventures. It’s 1995, and the newly widowed Pigeon moves out of New York City and into Glen Canyon to start her life…
Life in the Universe
It was back in 1960 when astronomer Frank Drake used a radio telescope to listen to two nearby stars. He didn’t hear much, but that was the birth of our modern search for life beyond earth. It’s been more than 50 years since Drake’s experiment, and we haven’t found any…
”Joseph Cohen: Fatto in Italia”
Concrete artist Joseph Cohen just spent a few months in Italy, and it seems he put his time to good use. The exhibit ”Joseph Cohen: Fatto in Italia” is comprised of new works he created there, using reclaimed paint and materials. The show’s title means “handmade in Italy,” which perfectly…
The Last Tip of My Hat
Rodeo time is upon us, and everyone in Houston is getting into the spirit, even the National Museum of Funeral History. For the next two months, the museum will be presenting its yearly revolving mini-exhibit “The Last Tip of My Hat,” featuring a cowboy/cowgirl classic-style pine coffin like you’ve seen…
Meat Market: Sorry State
At a cattle auction under brilliant blue skies in Longview, the ring of wooden seats surrounding the auction floor is nearly empty. The weekly auction takes place here every Thursday starting at noon, although precious few buyers or sellers show up anymore. Everything at the auction house is the color…
I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change
Relationships are labyrinths of hilarious moments of miscommunication and frustrated desires — at least that’s the premise behind Joe DiPietro and Jimmy Roberts’s amazingly successful 1997 off-Broadway hit I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change. The musical, which has been translated into everything from Chinese to Turkish, follows the arc…
Oscar in the Box
Music Box Theater, Houston’s freshest musical troupe, looks ahead to the awards season with Oscar in the Box. The talented quintet — all former members of Masquerade Theatre — includes Rebekah Dahl, Brad Scarborough, Luke Wrobel, Cay Taylor and Colton Berry. Joined by musical backing band G Sharp and the…
Iranian Film Festival
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, is known for his implacable intolerance, so chances are he hasn’t seen any of the features in the Iranian Film Festival. (If he had, we’re pretty sure there would’ve been another bonfire in Tehran’s Azadi Square.) The offering of films includes Mojtaba Mirtahmasb and Jafar…
4th Annual Festival of New Spanish Cinema
It’s definitely time for some fresh directorial faces behind Spain’s silver screen. The great Spanish master filmmaker Luis Buñuel, while artistically immortal, is dead. Pedro Almodóvar is 60 years old and no longer the new niño in town. But not to worry, there’s a new crop of directors from España,…
The Coast of Utopia: Voyage
Chalk one up for Main Street Theater — it’s snagged the first U. S. production of The Coast of Utopia, a trilogy by Tom Stoppard, since the play was premiered at Lincoln Center six years ago. Voyage, the first installment in the series, chronicles the years between 1833 and 1866,…
Robert Leleux: The Living End
Second chances come in many guises; for author and former Houstonian Robert Leleux and his family, it came in the form of Alzheimer’s disease. Leleux has a biting wit. With a hilarious take on the insanity that often surrounds him, sharp-tongued Leleux first came to the public eye with his…
Motel Tropicana
Leighza Walker, artistic director of Big Head Productions, likes to push boundaries, which is exactly what the company’s latest production, Motel Tropicana: An Adult Series of Short No-Tells, was designed to do. According to Walker, the show is a series of shorts set in a seedy motel room. Each is…
Gothic Council Debates David Bowie’s Gothness
Last week we asked the Council about their favorite goth lyrics, and the whole thing degenerated into a conversation about how awesome David Bowie’s penis is. Since it came up so hard (Ha ha, we kill us), it seemed appropriate to debate whether or not Bowie can be declared goth…
Some Nouns, Some Verbs and 9/11
Director Stephen Daldry has never met a Big Theme he didn’t like: After 2002’s The Hours, a lugubrious women’s-problem picture touching on AIDS and assisted suicide, he went to Auschwitz with 2008’s The Reader. Following two such high-toned literary adaptations with hefty subject matter, Daldry’s logical next stop is Extremely…
Of Pasta and Pass Receptions
Harry Coyle’s request seems ordinary enough: He would simply like for a man to catch a ball that has been thrown to him. Now, there is no room for considering the speed at which the ball has been thrown, or the presence of another man whose sole purpose is to…
Locked In
A mushroom cloud blooms over Manhattan at the opening of The Divide. We see it reflected in the tearful eyes of Eva (Lauren German), who’ll spend much of the subsequent movie watching and waiting. She and eight other building residents, including her French fiancé, Sam (Iván González), manage to get…
Capsule Art Reviews: Houston Permitting Center, “New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection,” “Perspectives 177: McArthur Binion,” “Peter Massing: Time After Time,” “Reconstruction,” “Sherrie Levine:
Houston Permitting Center Some of the best artworks in Houston right now can’t be found at a gallery or museum, but a government building. When the city decided to turn an old rice warehouse at the end of Washington Avenue into its new Permitting Center, it also set aside money…
Hand Doc and Strippers
WHATEVER Hand Doc & Strippers Brown paid $60K per month, one says By Craig Malisow Attention hot 20-year-old strippers: Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to date a famous Houston doctor? Namely, one who pledges to treat you “like family”? Well, according to one gal we spoke with,…
Tedeschi Trucks Band
A band’s sound usually takes years to develop, but in only two years the Tedeschi Trucks Band has honed its music into a crowd-pleasing product Rolling Stone called “a masterpiece,” in reference to debut album Revelator. The two former solo artists, Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi, have toured together before,…
Girl Fight
There’s a point in Haywire when the film’s protagonist, ex-Marine Mallory Kane (Gina Carano), gone rogue from her job as hired muscle for a private government subcontractor, takes a fall while scaling down a drainpipe and hits the ground with a crunch that knocks the wind out of you. It’s…
SPECIAL MORMON EDICION
Dear Readers, I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republic presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed — namely, that he’s half-Mexican. The lamestream media is treating this as a revelation — never…
Mason Jennings
If you’re going to bounce from Hawaii to Pittsburgh to Minneapolis, then you’re going to end up with a voice that mixes sun, smog and snow. Mason Jennings proves that perfectly, and he’s become the full embodiment of the soulful singer-songwriter. We got into Jennings from hearing his cover of…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Deadly Murder, Uncle Vanya,
Deadly Murder This murder mystery combines suspense, humor, attempts at drawing-room comedy, bizarre twists, violence and sturdy actors in an unlikely medley offering something for everyone. The play opens as middle-aged but in-shape Camille Targus (Cheryl Tanner) emerges from the bedroom with muscular Billy (Adan Inteuz), younger than she by…
Meat Market
“Now the drought of fifty-seven was a curse upon the land.” — Texas Trilogy 3: Bosque County Romance by Steven Fromholz, sung by Lyle Lovett In 2011, after ranching for more than 16 years in East Texas, 57-year-old Ronnie Bartley, done in by drought, divorce and rising feed costs, sold off…
AWOLNATION
AWOLNATION, the solo project of Under the Influence of Giants’ Aaron Bruno, has experienced as much success as a fledgling solo project could hope for, thanks in large part to infectious and easily accessible single “Sail,” which has been known to cause many ladies to move their bodies unconsciously. Named…
CFS and a Cigarette
Inside City Cafe, it’s like time itself has paused for a cigarette break and a cup of black coffee. Check out our slideshow of the little spot’s charming kitchen. Inside City Cafe, it’s like time itself has paused for a cigarette break and a cup of black coffee. Here in…
Jimbo Mathus
Jimbo Mathus’s latest work, Confederate Buddha, was easily one of the most overlooked roots albums of 2011. Don’t worry, we sort of slept through it too, but that just means you can make up for that with us by checking him out Saturday night at the Continental Club, with opening…
Angelina’s War Movie
It’s 1992 at the start of In the Land of Blood and Honey, and Ajla (Zana Marjanovic) and Danijel (Goran Kostic) are about to hook up at a Bosnian nightclub when they’re interrupted by a bomb blast. A few months later, Ajla is one of dozens of women rounded up…
Chris Knight
Broken beer bottle in one hand, skinning knife in the other, with a couple of warrants in his shirt pocket, Kentuckian Chris Knight comes from the redneck-y right wing of the Americana genre. Since stunning Nashville and the Americana world — a hard trick — with Chris Knight, his 1998…
Hello, Nurses!
We became utterly engrossed in indie art rock band Nurses when our prime music video dealer, Mick Cullen over at Subterranean Radio, sent along the video for psychedelic masterpiece “Fever Dreams.” The song, from latest release Dracula, built on top of their primal percussion and falsetto mantras a color explosion…
Odd Couple
“Steven [Soderbergh] asked me, ‘Why is Angelina Jolie the only female action star in the world?’ I told him, ‘I don’t know,’ and he said, ‘Because someone made her that way, and I’m going to make Gina into one of the biggest action stars in the world.'” That was Ryan…
Sail On, Stoppard
Stop reading! Put down the Houston Press right now — this review can wait — and quickly call Main Street Theater, or go to its Web site, and order tickets to The Coast of Utopia, Part One: Voyage. Do not miss this extraordinary event. (While you’re at it, reserve seats…
The Kills
If the departed White Stripes made music for indie-rock couples to listen to while they went antiquing, then the Kills make music for those same couples to break up to, loudly, until their neighbors call the cops. The fearsome duo, vocalist/guitarist Alison Mosshart and sometime drummer/guitarist/vocalist Jamie Hince, released Blood…
All Shook Up
Only a year ago, the Alabama Shakes were virtually unknown outside a couple of northern counties in their home state. Now they have a deal with Dave Matthews’s ATO label, more than 16,000 fans on Facebook and a recent profile-raising tour opening for Drive By Truckers. Perhaps most importantly, their…
