May 22-28, 2008

May 22-28, 2008 / Vol. 20 / No. 21

Test Your Musical Strength

I know, I know. You’re sitting there at work, thinking, “Gee, I wish there were a way I could appear to be working while actually measuring my musical knowledge across a broad spectrum of time periods and genres, and then translate that knowledge into a numerical score I can use…

What’s Up with the Freak Show in Left Field?

I’ve got to ask. Am I the only who watched this past weekend’s Astros games against the Phillies and wondered if the left field concourse is turning into Let’s Make A Deal? For those too young remember, Let’s Make A Deal was a game show hosted by Monty Hall. Monty…

Reverberations: Bellrays, Power-Pop and Chevelles

Categorization is one of the realities of widespread music/art consumption, and despite how much energy and time is spent trying to avoid labels, no one is above that sort of thing. And amongst those admittedly simplistic designations are several problematic cristenings: punk, garage, classic rock. And amongst those, one of…

Astros-Cardinals: Tied for Second Place

The Astros roared off to a 4-0 lead in the first inning last night, and the St. Louis Cardinals, despite a four-for-four night from Albert Pujols, could just never catch up, losing to the Astros 8-2. Shawn Chacon, after setting the major league record with ten straight non-decisions to start…

UH President Says a Med School Would Be Nice

UH President and Chancellor Renu Khator says she loves athletics but she doesn’t want to be on the sidelines if any new medical schools are handed out in the state. “We can be top tier without a medical school so it’s not a must for us,” she said in a…

What They’re Saying About Texas Q in Chicago

Today’s Chicago Sun-Times includes an article about the Houston Rodeo Barbecue Cook-Off with a sidebar on Houston barbecue joints–it mentions Pizzatola’s, Thelma’s, Goode Company and Gerardo’s. I was happy to help out reporter Lori Rackl with a few tips about where to find different styles of Texas Q in Houston…

Size Matters

Okay, there is such a thing as too much meat. But when the burger patty is thick, it’s possible for the grill cook to make it a little pink in the middle, so it comes out wonderfully juicy. Such was the case with the subject of this week’s Café section…

Free X Ticket with CD Purchase at Cactus

While they last, Cactus Music is giving away one free ticket to X’s June 3 show at Warehouse Live with the purchase of any two of the legendary L.A. roots-punks’ CDs at $9.99 a pop. Of course that means if you buy four, you and a friend/date (how long before…

Dante Calzini Opens Ponte Vecchio in Downtown

Ponte Vecchio (507 Dallas) recently opened in downtown Houston. In Italian, it is known as a tavola calda, or hot table, restaurant, where customers choose their meals from a variety of daily offerings at the counter, then bring them to the table themselves. Florentine chef Dante Calzini, who since 1956…

Black Math Experiment to Go On Hiatus

They came, they saw, they persuaded David Arquette to fly in and catch one of their shows at the Proletariat, but come June 14, the Black Math Experiment will be on indefinite hiatus. Hasta el jumpo, find out why from co-frontperson Jef With One F, as well as details about…

Bubba Roese, the Mayor of Graball, Speaks of BBQ

“Barbecue isn’t supposed to taste like smoke,” Bubba Roese said adamantly. I thought he was just a cantankerous old crank at first. But as he ranted, I began to realize the 69-year-old Santa Claus look-alike was actually a relic of an older barbecue era. His family once owned a grocery…

The Wayback Machine: 15, 10, and five years ago in Houston music

In the last week of May 1993, the Road Kings played the Satellite and Sebastian Whittaker played at Rockefeller’s on the same night…Dry Nod droned out Rudz…Selena, Mazz, Emilio, David Lee Garza, Roberto Pulido and La Fiebre performed at the Ft. Bend County Fairgrounds…Monte Warden played the Bon Ton…Blunt was…

Gelato Man Don Burke Does It Right

Don Burke of RainDrop Chocolate (810 Waugh Drive, 713-524-2864) is an food artisan in the European fashion. At any one time, he makes no more than 12 flavors in very small batches and is continuously experimenting with new ones. The lemon custard gelato is spectacular. The lemons are imported from…

Astros-Phillies: Don’t Blame the Bullpen

The Astros won two of the three weekend games against the Philadelphia Phillies, splitting the series two games apiece. The Astros lost 15-6 on Sunday afternoon because Ed Wade has done absolutely nothing to fix one of the worst starting rotations in major league baseball, and the team lost because…

Get Lit: Q&A with Sgt. Brian Foster of the Houston Police Department

During his 34-year career in law enforcement—23 of those as a Detective/Sergeant with the Houston Police Department Homicide Division– Sgt. Brian Foster always kept both his notebook and his ears open. But not just to record the confessions, bizarre incidents, statements, stories, and lies that were told him by both…

Happy Belated Birthday, Morrissey

Don’t know how we missed it – you’d think the worldwide mass wailing and gnashing of teeth would drown out rush hour traffic on the West Loop – but yesterday one Steven Patrick Morrissey blew out the candles for the 49th time. There’s something odd about wishing Sir Mope a…

Weekend Music: Murder on Memorial Day

Fifteen years ago next month, shock-punk hero GG Allin’s brief but eventful life came to an end when his wildly overtaxed body had all it could handle and finally gave out after one shot of heroin too many. Naturally, Allin’s legend has only grown since then, aided by 1994 documentary…

More Bitching from Friends of BARC

It’s a tough competition, but we think we have a clear winner for Most Thin-Skinned Organization in town: The Friends of BARC. BARC is, of course, the city pound. FOB is a private non-profit that does things for the pound, like buy equipment. They also spend an inordinate amount of…

Astros-Phillies: Brad Lidge Gets the Save

The Astros lost to the Philadelphia Phillies by a score of 7-5 last night. But the major news flash is that Astros reliever Oscar Villarreal made it through an inning without giving up a run. And that, if anything, should tell you how sucky the Astros pitching staff is. But…

Miss Pop Rocks’ Tips For Saving Money on Gas

CNN Money recently ran a short piece about myths surrounding saving gas (e.g. filling your tank in the morning is supposed to be more fuel efficient, but it really isn’t). Now Miss Pop Rocks doesn’t know much about when’s the best time to filler up, but she can offer you…

Jon Paul Lands at Landry’s

It seems everyone in Houston is familiar with Jon Paul. The popular restaurant world figure made his name as a host at Tony’s, then worked as a consultant for Marco Wiles (Da Marco and Dolce Vita), then for Sabor, which is no more. After that, he joined Polo Becerra (Polo’s,…

Chingo Bling: Street Fighting Man

So a few minutes ago, Abe Garza, our front desk receptionist, received a strange phone call. A robotic voice was on the other end, and it had a simple and direct message: Hell-o. This. Is. Ching.O. Bling. They. Cant. Dee. Port. Us. All…

Court of Appeals Rules State Had No Right to Seize FLDS Kids

Keith Plocek Send the little fundamentalists home. That was the decision earlier today as a state appellate court ruled that child welfare officials had no right to seize some of the more than 400 children they took into custody during a three-day raid in early April of the 1,700-acre Yearning…

The Five Worst Uniforms in the History of Houston Sports

Being a longtime observer of Houston sports means that I’ve seen an awful lot of uniforms. Some good. Many bad. So I thought I would give you what I consider to be the five worst uniforms in Houston sports history. 5. Houston Astros, Home Uniforms, 2000-Present. I hate these uniforms…

New Location for El Bolillo Panaderia

Lovers of Mexican breads rejoice. El Bolillo Panaderia is in its brand spanking new and bigger location across from the Farmer’s Market at 2428 Airline. It’s one-stop shopping for Mexican breads and pastries in a truly festive atmosphere with lots of neat artwork and graphics all over the place. Be…

Best of Ottawa International Animation Festival

The Best of Ottawa International Animation Festival has a warning label: For Mature Audiences. The annual festival is known for showcasing cutting-edge animation, and this year is no exception. The screening at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston includes Michael Langan’s experimental Doxology (think one guy, six arms), and Aaron…

Zine Fest Houston

Now that everyone and their cat has a blog, it’s hard to remember when being a self-published author took real effort: knowledge of typography and layout, rudimentary graphic-design skills and getting to know a Kinko’s employee willing to trade a free ream of paper for weed. But for those people…

Grease Sing-along

Singing along to Grease, the musical that will not die, is a guilty pleasure — no one admits they do it, but everyone does. If you’re ready to come out of the Grease lover’s closet, you can belt out “Summer Nights,” “Greased Lightin’” and “You’re the One I Want” at…

“Girl”

Outside artists of the female persuasion are on the inside at Premium Goods’ “Girl!” In addition to paint and canvas, Y.E. Torres, B~K, Jeanette Degollado and melinda mosheim work with found torn posters and wood to create vibrant, colorful art. The exhibit features more than 50 pieces hung salon-style. Noon…

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension has all the ingredients of a cult classic. The 1984 sci-fi/comedy film features Peter Weller (of RoboCop fame) as Buckaroo Banzai, a neurosurgeon who’s also a crime fighter and a rock band front man. Banzai and his team, the Hong Kong…

The Vagina Monologues

This is the tenth anniversary of The Vagina Monologues, the Obie Award-winning play that centers on the seldom-discussed area between women’s navels and knees. To mark the anniversary, director Joe Watts wanted to do something a little different. The Theatre New West production features a transgender cast, which, you have…

“what we want is too late”

In the exhibit “what we want is too late,” three artists explore collaboration — separately. The show features the work of Lawndale’s Artist Studio Program participants Lynne McCabe, Danny Kerschen and Teresa O’Connor. For her installation, McCabe sent out requests to friends and even celebrities such as Yoko Ono and…

Houston Comets vs. Minnesota Lynx

After a four-game road trip, the Comets are back to face the Minnesota Lynx in their first home game of the season. Head coach Karleen Thompson (she went to USC with Tina Thompson) is happy about the Comets’ draft choices and looking forward to building a new team. “Matee [Ajavon]…

CraftTexas 2008

CraftHouston got so big they had to change the name — now it’s CraftTexas 2008. The juried exhibition highlights the best in Texas-made contemporary craft, including traditional and cutting-edge work made of clay, wood, fiber, glass and found/recycled materials. Almost 400 pieces were submitted, but only 84 survived the cut…

The Gates

Christo and Jeanne-Claude have covered entire islands in pink polyester and whole landscapes with umbrellas. The Gates, another site-specific, larger-than-life, conceptual art project, brought them to New York, and the whole thing was captured in Robert Mayles’s documentary, also called The Gates, which screens today at Discovery Green. Planned in…

“Dancin’ in the Street…Motown & More Revue”

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that the sultry, sexy music of Motown was made in chilly Detroit. There’s something about sweltering summer nights and Motown that they just go together, as will be evident at this weekend’s concert extravaganza, “Dancin’ in the Street…Motown & More Revue,” at the Miller Outdoor…

Aries Spears

Comedian Aries Spears clearly has no qualms about messing with people that most others don’t usually mess with, like hip-hop impresarios, gangsta rappers and enormous pro boxers with penchants for ear biting. The Chicago-born comedian does absolutely dead-on impressions of Jay-Z, DMX and Mike Tyson. He also imitates the likes…

Fareed Zakaria

Jon Stewart and Glenn Beck don’t usually like the same people, but both of them fawned over author Fareed Zakaria in recent interviews. Zakaria, Newsweek’s international edition editor and a really smart guy, is coming to Houston to talk about his new book, The Post-American World. According to the book,…

Sour Notes

Austin’s Sour Notes play lulling, ghostly, fully realized melodies not terribly far from Bright Eyes or the Decemberists. And they do so with a degree of bitterness and rancor — directed both inward and outward — that places the quartet closer to noted indie-folk grouches like Bill Callahan and Cat…

“Fragments from Augustine the Saint”

Fragments from Augustine the Saint is a small, relatively spare opera with tremendous spiritual clout, so it has much in common with the space it will be performed in, the Rothko Chapel. Fragments is based on the prolific writings of the philosopher-saint, especially his notions of the “dark night of…

Doomsday 9: Fistful of Steel

Doomsday Wrestling returns enraged and encaged with its ninth installment, Fistful of Steel. We caught up with some of the characters of the theater/wrestling troupe (which won the 2007 Best of Houston® award for Best Comedy Show) to find out about the fights. “World heavyweight champion Precious Jewels will be…

Three Classics, Five Tangos

Three Classics, Five Tangos equals one world premiere. The Houston Ballet’s spring repertory program features the never-before-seen Little Dancer, the latest work from internationally acclaimed choreographer James Kudelka, set to Philip Glass’s Symphony No. 8. The show also includes two Houston debuts, starting with HB artistic director Stanton Welch’s Falling,…

Geopalooza! A Hard Rock Anthology

Massive amethysts, six-feet-tall citrine geodes and huge gypsum crystals wait for you at Geopalooza! A Hard Rock Anthology, a showcase of mineral wonders from around the world. Viewers can see slices of petrified wood (some as big as five feet across) and an exotic array of fossils, including trilobites with…

NANO Fiction Spring Release Party

The NANO Fiction Spring Release Party features authors who know how to write short, short stories. The literary journal, founded a year ago by University of Houston English majors Kirby Johnson and Signe Cluiss, is a collection of “micro-fiction” stories, told in 300 words or less. Seems like an easy…

“Dither Complex”

Paul Fleming’s art gives off good vibrations. “Dither Complex” is a collection of wall sculptures meant to imply motion. Using opaque white and clear colored resin, Fleming creates works such as Pulse II, a series of cascading orange pyramids that look like they’re emerging out of the wall. For Peep,…

Presenting the only Cannes awards that really matter: Ours.

CANNES, France—The competition for the Palme d’Or is ongoing as I write, but the story of the 61st Cannes Film Festival is Steven Soderbergh’s two-part, four-and-a-half-hour Che—an epic non-biopic that might well have been approved by Roberto Rossellini, envied by Francis Coppola, and even appreciated by its subject. (And the…

“I Hear You: Words-in-Form”

Tara Conley collects phrases. For more than 12 years, the artist has scribbled down quotes that have caught her ear. “I Hear You: Words-in-Form” is an exhibit dedicated to some of her favorites — each is sculpted from copper or carved out of wood and finished with paint, flocking or…

Prom Night

Ah, prom. The corsages…the awkwardness…the puking. If for some reason you didn’t get enough of all that back in high school, one of Houston’s best-loved cover bands will make you a deal: You provide the tuxes and taffeta, they’ll supply the tunes. At today’s second annual Prom Night, Disco Expressions…

Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Sad Decline

Here’s your hat, Indy, but, really, what’s your hurry? Because 19 years after the Last Crusade that clearly wasn’t, and 15 years after the old man joined Young Indiana Jones on the small screen to recount his glory days blowing horns with Sidney Bechet, it’s almost unfathomable that this hoary mishmash…

Car Stereo (Wars), Voxtrot, The Mathletes

Christopher Rose mixes the songs you love with the songs you’d never admit to liking. The man behind Austin’s Car Stereo (Wars) is one of those DJs who have you too busy shakin’ dat ass to care about the musical blasphemy spinning on the ones and twos. Take “Hey Hey…

Notable tour sponsorships in U.S. history

Unless you’re U2 or the Stones and can afford to puddle-jump between gigs in your private jet, touring is expensive. More and more bands are opting to let willing sponsors underwrite their tours; in fact, even the Stones let RadioShack and online stock-trading firm TD Ameritrade kick in some money…

Cinematic Sunrise

Craig Owens and Bradley Bell usually play post-hardcore music in their full-time band Chiodos. With Cinematic Sunrise, they get to make more pop-oriented and less-complex punk songs. This doesn’t mean the five-piece Sunrise is easy listening. Its new self-titled EP is jammed with clever keyboard and guitar riffs, and songs…

DEAN’S CREDIT CLOTHING’S MOCHATINI

I happen to be one of the lucky folk that live close to the Metro train, so lately when it’s cocktail time, I save gas and hop on board. Saturday night I was headed to Midtown, but missed the exits because I was engrossed in a conversation with a homeless…

Iron Maiden

Iron Maiden emerged from East London in the mid-1970s, and their defiantly metal middle finger to that city’s punk explosion was, intentionally or otherwise, punk as fuck. Main-man/bassist Steve Harris had a vision of something timeless; 20-plus arena-filling years later, it seems he had a point. Sidestepping the obvious head-­bangin’…

Tropical Heat at Caribbean Jerk Cuisine

It’s a sweltering day, but I have a plan. What better cure for the hot, sticky-weather blues than some jerk chicken and Red Stripes? I swoop up my best friend and longtime drinking buddy Shaun for some thirst-quenching beers and eats at Caribbean Jerk Cuisine, a hole-in-the-wall joint on Richmond…

Direct to Video Game: Steven Spielberg’s Boom Blox

Steven Spielberg may rule Hollywood, but in the video game industry — which becomes the more profitable of the two with each passing year — he’s a bikini-clad babe in Jaws-infested waters. Perhaps that’s why in 2005, Spielberg, an avid gamer, signed with developing giant EA Games for three unannounced…

Gimme more at Suya Hut

Suya, a Northern Nigerian specialty, is a beef or chicken kebab cooked over a charcoal grill and served on a wooden skewer. It bears a striking resemblance to Thai satay. At Suya Hut (11611 W. Airport, 281-265-1411), you can get them individually ($.99 for beef and $1.99 for chicken) or…

Rivercrest, CityPass and BARC

Most of us unwashed plebeians don’t realize it, but there’s a posh, mansion-filled neighborhood just off Westheimer and Gessner. And the residents of that neighborhood would like to keep it that way. Rivercrest is a U-shaped street that hooks up with Westheimer at its two ends. The Rivercrest Homeowners Association,…

Cantinflas and Fence Hoppers

Dear Mexican, Why did the Mexican comedian Cantinflas never catch on in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood. Instead, that movement ended up flat as a tortilla. El Curioso Dear Curious Gabacho, Do people even…

Americans Recording Mexican Songs

Mexican artists have recorded English-language songs for decades, but the opposite is rare. American musicians have historically treated Mexican music like they treat Mexicans, and when they do bother to cover a classic, they tend to sound worse than attorney Jim Adler’s Spanish. Here we present our favorite American covers…

The State of the Local Live Music Industry

As temperatures soar and the season for the Houston Press Music Awards rolls around again, it’s time to think about big-picture questions. Which local bands are doing particularly well now at their local shows? Is there as much passion for local music as there has been at some times in…

Alex Arizpe Benefit

Benefits are by nature bittersweet occasions, but the best ones brim with an ­endorphin-arousing mixture of music and fellowship that blots out — temporarily, at least — whatever dire circumstances made them necessary in the first place. That ought to be the case Saturday, when veterans of Houston’s punk/hardcore trenches…

Right To Life

Online readers respond to “Right to Life,” by Chris Vogel, May 1. Doctor’s orders: As a practicing physician, I can assure you that convening an ethics board (containing physicians, nurses and laypeople) to review every aspect of a case in great detail is the last thing a physician who’s made…

Pink Martini

Portland’s Pink Martini has elegantly eased its way to the head of the plush-carpeted lounge pack. The 12-person ensemble, anchored by founder/pianist Thomas Lauderdale and fronted by chanteuse China Forbes, recently surpassed easy-listening luminaries Martin Denny, Sergio Mendes and even Henry Mancini to land last year’s LP Hey Eugene! at…

Truck Drivers Falter Under the Weight of High Fuel Prices

Bubba Melzer swings open the door of his 18-wheeler, walks over to the diesel pumps at the Flying J truck stop and begins to fill one of the 200-gallon tanks on his truck. While the truck is fueling, Melzer removes a brush from a bucket filled with soapy, gray water…

Jabour and Olives Martini Bar & Grille

Jody Jabour has spent more than two decades in the restaurant business, with his most recent stint as food and beverage director for two casinos in Mississippi. Now he’s opened fine dining establishment Jabour’s (14019 Southwest Fwy., 281-980-2130). He chose the location because “Sugar Land is really growing, and we…

Shots in the Dark

Cannes, France — No need for dreaming here. Each Cannes Film Festival generates its own metaphors for a 10-day regimen of visions in the dark. It’s impossible to forget, let alone transcend, one’s unnatural situation here. The opening film of Cannes’s 2008 edition clobbered participants with a cautionary allegory. Regardez:…

Charlie Sexton

Charlie Sexton grew up a blues guitar prodigy in an Austin that already had a young legend in Stevie Ray Vaughan, so in 1985 the then-teenager went in another direction, recording the new wave hit “Beat’s So Lonely,” which he describes as “a little bit Elvis and a little bit…

Capsule Art Reviews: “John Alexander: New Paintings and Drawings,” “Katy Heinlein,” “Paul Fleming: Dither Complex,” “Sculpture”

“John Alexander: New Paintings and Drawings” Running concurrently with the John Alexander retrospective at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, this showing of new works at McClain Gallery is a testament to Alexander’s popularity and the collectability of his work. These pieces represent an interesting transition for Texas native Alexander,…

Bayousphere

That lady cat seems to be a lot more interested in whether Herbert Tobias is waxing his boss’s car properly than she is in getting a kiss from her dancing partner. Of course, we’re not even sure what species her dancing partner is, as they waltz across the wall at…


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