Are you living in poverty? Do you dislike the poverty lifestyle? Do you have $25 ($30 at the door)? Then you might want to check out tonightโ€™s talk by Houston Vetter, โ€œBust Loose From Poverty,โ€ at CenterPoint, 1920 Hollister, 713-932-7224. (CenterPoint is described on its site as a โ€œspiritually based, non-profit educational center for mind, body and spirit.โ€)

So who is Houston Vetter? Well, heโ€™s a โ€œHuman Potential Expertโ€ who helps people discover their โ€œunique power to attract boundless prosperity, optimum health, and lasting happiness.โ€

I called up Vetter (whose first name is Gerhard) to ask why heโ€™s charging people to learn how to โ€œbust looseโ€ from poverty.

โ€œYouโ€™re thinking,โ€ Houston said, โ€œโ€ฆfrom the concept that moneyโ€™s real and that moneyโ€™s limited.โ€

He was of course correct. I was, in fact, thinking that money is โ€œreal.โ€ Which just proves why I need to go to his lecture tonight.

โ€œYou just asked the question as if moneyโ€™s hard to come by,โ€ he continued, since I was still trying to wrap my head around what he just said. โ€œYou asked the question as if thereโ€™s only so much pie and that you canโ€™t make any more pie.โ€

It was getting worse. He clearly knew my weakness for delicious baked goods. Now thatโ€™s all I could think about. Screw poverty.

When I finally snapped out of it, I managed to steer the conversation away from pie and back to finances. Crossing my fingers that he wouldnโ€™t mention donuts, I asked him to please clarify why he was charging people who might meet the legal qualification of poverty.

โ€œ[They] probably wouldnโ€™t come to the class,โ€ he said. โ€œTheyโ€™d probably spend the money on whatever else theyโ€™re spending the money on โ€“ food, cigarettes, drink. Whatever.โ€

Or possibly pie?

Then, he got all symbolic on me: โ€œSomeone whose arm is not broken doesnโ€™t need it set, OK? And only someone whoโ€™s been looking for a doctor to set their arm will go to a doctorโ€ฆin other words, if you donโ€™t need it, thereโ€™s no sense for anybodyโ€ฆto go to the class. If someone doesnโ€™t think that they need to bust loose or get out of the money game or get out of povertyโ€ฆthereโ€™s no need for them to goโ€ฆโ€

Thatโ€™s when I asked him why he kept on referring to it as โ€œthe money game.โ€

โ€œBecause everythingโ€™s a game,โ€ he said, adding, โ€œhuman life is a game. Itโ€™s a metaphorโ€ฆ.language is a game, itโ€™s a metaphor. Language is designed to hide, OK? Pictures reveal, words hide.โ€

Thatโ€™s true. And sometimes they just donโ€™t make any freaking sense. โ€“ Craig Malisow

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