Dear Willie D:
I’m 25, and I have a crush on my sister’s 28-year-old boyfriend. I don’t want to steal him from her, just borrow him for sex and send him back. I have caught him looking at me on more than one occasion, so I know he would be down to mess around.
The guy is a womanizing player, and my sister knows his reputation. What harm is there in sibling-sharing since they aren’t going to last anyway, right? Also, I secretly want her to find out that I slept with him, so she can know how much of a douche he really is.
Sibling Sharing:
Oh boy! It’s so nice of you to help your sister realize she has a no-good man by being a no-good woman. Leave that man alone. People have a hard enough time trying to protect their relationships from being infiltrated by outsiders than to have to worry about their own family getting out of pocket with their spouses.
You don’t appear to have a moral bone in your body. With a sister like you, who needs enemies?
MY FRIEND ALLOWS OTHERS TO TREAT HER BADLY
Dear Willie D:
My friend at work allows other friends and coworkers to run over her. I have told her to stand up for herself like I stand up for myself, but she doesn’t get it. Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to coach her into not letting people take advantage of her. What do you suggest?
Standing Up:
It’s hard to help people who don’t want to help themselves. The best way to help them is to support them as a friend without putting yourself out there to be hurt yourself.
The sad truth is everybody isn’t built to be a fighter. Some people are more comfortable being punching bags.
THE LACK OF MONEY IS STARTING TO HURT MY RELATIONSHIP
Dear Willie D:
Maybe I’m overthinking the situation, but I invited my boyfriend to my company’s annual party, and he declined because he “don’t have anything nice to wear, and can’t afford to buy anything.” He’s a T-shirt-and-jeans type of guy.
I get it that he wants to look nice, but this party is my opportunity for my friends and coworkers to meet my new man, and he knows how important it is to me. I told him that he doesn’t have to wear a suit because the party is casual, but he insists on not going. How can I persuade him to change his mind?
T-shirt & Means:
It’s easy for a man to decline an invite from his spouse when his spouse only mentions it once or twice, and doesn’t press the issue. But if she were to talk to him, and reiterate how important his attendance would be, she might be able to convince him to join her. Can’t believe I’m giving up the game for free, but that usually works on me.
MY STEPSON IS DISRESPECTFUL
Dear Willie D:
My girlfriend’s kids, who live with us, are disrespectful to me, especially her oldest son, who is 16. For his birthday, his biological father joined us for dinner at a restaurant, and he made it a point to ignore me. He kept telling his dad, “I can’t wait to hang out with you tomorrow so we can do father-son stuff.”
Mind you, his dad pays child support, but he’s been living with me since he was eight years old. His mom tries to intervene, but he doesn’t respect her either. How should I handle this?
Disrespected & Ignored:
Send him to live with his daddy so they can do father-son stuff all the time.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
This article appears in Sep 1-7, 2016.
