MODERN-DAY RAP IS CRAP
Dear Willie D:
As a lifelong fan of yours, I really miss albums like We Can’t Be Stopped. Who in your opinion is the realest modern-day hip-hop star, and how can we prevent “fake” rappers from making it to our eardrums?
Lifelong Fan:
Who the realest rapper is isn’t determined by subject matter. The realest rapper is the one who stays true to himself and refuses to compromise his standards for the lure of money and approval from others. Now, if you want to talk about which modern-day rappers are repping the streets the most, I like Z-Ro, Boosie, Hopsin and a few others.
Preventing fake rappers from making it to your eardrums is the easiest part of your question. All you have to do is turn off the radio, stop going to their concerts and walk off the dance floor every time a DJ plays a fake rapper’s record. Pretty simple, huh?
MY STEPDAUGHTER WALKS AROUND THE HOUSE IN HER UNDERWEAR
Dear Willie D:
My husband of three years has a 15-year-old daughter who lives with us who walks around the house in her panties. She is very shapely. I have an 18-year-old son from a previous marriage, and I can’t help but wonder if she is doing that to entice him in some way.
I told my husband that I didn’t think it was appropriate, and he talked to her about it, but she still does it. I want to say something to her, but don’t feel as though it’s my place since I’m only the stepmother.
What should I do?
A Stepmother’s Place:
If it bothers you that much, speak to your stepdaughter woman to almost-woman about what’s appropriate to wear in common areas of the home. I’m not going to tell you to do something silly like walking around in your panties to shame your stepdaughter into wearing clothes around the house.
It’s your house, which means you (along with your husband) set the rules, and anybody living under the same roof follows them. The way I see it, unless they’re see-through, wearing panties is like wearing a bikini, so I don’t view it as a huge problem. There is no shame and no sexuality to the human form, only in the form of intentions.
THE HOLIDAY SEASON MAKES ME SAD
Dear Willie D:
The holidays are over, but I’m still emotional as ever. I’m always depressed during the holiday season because my mother died on Christmas Eve 12 years ago. People always tell me to stop thinking of the past and look forward to the future, but they don’t understand how I feel.
I know I should be counting my blessings rather than focusing on my misfortunes, but it’s really hard because being an only child, I was very close to my mother. How do I get past the pain?
Painful Holidays:
Your ability to cope with the pain of the loss of your mother is all about how you choose to process the pain. I think about my deceased mother a lot, but not all the time because I am too busy living. Whenever my mother’s birthday or date of death comes around, my sisters and brothers celebrate by drinking, visiting her gravesite and crying a lot. They do the same thing during the holidays every year. I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it.
It doesn’t mean I didn’t love my mother as much as my sisters and brothers did. I just don’t believe that stressing myself out over something I have no control over helps me. However, I respect my siblings’ right to grieve in the manner they do because everyone deals with death differently.
It’s sad that you are suffering the way you are. But like my siblings, I think you enjoy the ritual of grieving the loss of your mother, and that’s okay if it gets you through the day. The dosage of pain you take depends on your tolerance level.
WHY DO SO MANY WOMEN DENY THEIR CHILDREN’S FATHER ACCESS TO THEM?
Dear Willie D:
My brother’s ex-girlfriend won’t let him see his son because he has a new girlfriend. My brother is an excellent father and all-around good guy. He pays his child support on time, and sends extra gifts for his son to his ex’s mother’s house often because his ex won’t accept them at her house.
Whenever she is in a relationship, or things are going well between her and her man, she lets him see his daughter. But when she doesn’t have a man in her life, she does everything in the world to make his life a living hell. I guess misery loves company.
After seeing so many countless vengeful mothers tear fathers from their children, I’ve decided to stay single and child-free. Why do so many women deny a great father his children?
Access Denied:
That’s a good question. I’m aware that there are men who put their kids in harm’s way and don’t contribute financially to their upbringing. Those types deserve nothing. But if a man is holding up his end of the parental deal by providing, protecting and attempting to be present in the child’s life, then there is no reason he should be denied access to his child.
Keeping a child away from his father out of spite is a game that little immature girls play. I say girls, because a woman knows how important a father/child relationship is and would never deny her child access to his or her father.
Regardless of her personal feelings toward the father, if he is responsible, a woman will make it a point for her child to spend as much quality time with his or her father as possible because she knows if she doesn’t make it a point, it will be the child who loses the most.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
This article appears in Jan 28 – Feb 3, 2016.
