My Pregnant Girlfriend Ran Off to Another State. Help!

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Dear Willie D:

My unborn child’s mother ran off to Nebraska to live with another man. We broke up after dating for five months. She is three months pregnant. My mother said she doesn’t think the baby is mine, but I know it is because we were together so much during our courtship that she didn’t have time to date anyone else.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I feel alone and abandoned. Is it legal for her to take my baby to another state without consulting me?

Alone & Abandoned:

States generally require a divorced or custodial parent to get written permission from the other parent before moving out of state. But I’m not sure how that works when a woman who you’re not married to takes your unborn child across state lines.

Contact a family lawyer to discuss your rights and options. Good luck!


Dear Willie D:

Hey, is it a sure thing to wait on a guy who's locked up?

Steel Waiting:

While everyone’s situation is different, whether you should wait or not should depend on how much time your man has. If he’s on lock for a few months or a couple of years, maybe things will work out. But if he’s on the front end of a half-a-century bid, hell no! And no self-respecting convict would expect you to.


Dear Willie D:

My girlfriend and I fight over finances all the time because she spends all of our money on our one-year-old daughter. She bought a $3,000 stroller a month ago. Before that, she spent $1,500 on clothes for her in one day!

We are not rich, but she acts as though we are. We have a shared bank account. Together we bring home about $9,000 a month. Every day I come home from work, I see something new she’s bought for our daughter. I feel as though she’s trying to live vicariously through our daughter because it gives her attention.

I love my daughter just as much as she does, but I don’t think it’s necessary to spend so much money on a child. How do I get her to stop spending all our money on our daughter?

Unnecessary Spending:

I agree with you. Kids don’t need all that expensive stuff. The stress and strain associated with trying to create the perfect life for kids is often self-inflicted by parents.

Talk to your girl and agree that you will take control of the finances. Pay the bills and balance the checkbook. Each of you will get a weekly allowance, and anything extra will have to be discussed and agreed on by both of you before any money is dispersed.

Additionally, you could maintain one shared account to pay your bills, one savings account, and each of you could have your own personal account to do as you please. That way, if your girl wants to blow her money on strollers with the price tag of a cash car, she can have at it.

But I’m sure it won’t come to that. People tend to babysit money better when it’s their own.


Dear Willie D:

Each time I walk in on my girl watching TV, it’s always about some violent crime, usually where the woman ends up killing her male lover. What’s up with that?

Violent Crime:

I’m also guilty of watching violent TV. I think most people like watching the dark stuff because they can get up close and in person without being victimized. But keep a close eye on her just in case she’s using the shows to get ideas on how to whack you and get away with it.

Personally, I’m more into the psychology of it all. But from time to time I have to take a break from it because I keep looking over my shoulder and peeping ’round corners!

Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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