Date: March 4
Name: Kenny Chesney
AKA: “Mr. Zellweger”
Genre: “Beach” country
Best Known Song(s): “Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw” “You Had Me At Hello,” “There Goes My Life”
Key Demographic: Sexually frustrated housewives too young to remember Billy Ray Cyrus, wannabe Parrotheads who find latter-period Jimmy Buffett too cynical
Previous HLSR Appearances: 2001-05
Houston Connections, If Any: Provides 93Q with roughly one-third of its playlist
If You Like This, Chances Are You’ll Like: Acoustic Poison covers, George Strait (if he sold his soul for a Budweiser endorsement), waxing your pubic area with a belt sander
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 100%
Because He/She’s Bald? Yes
Odds of Onstage Injury: 25% – Chesney messed his foot at a gig in 2008 and is pretty animated during shows. However, the setup at Reliant Stadium minimizes the possibility of slipping on thrown panties.
Which Football Team the Notorious Bandwagon Jumper is Most Likely to Mention: Push: Saints or Longhorns
This article appears in Mar 4-10, 2010.
