The ’80s, man. People thought the ’70s were pretty bad when it came to fashion, but the ’80s tried everything possible to be even worse.
Especially in the realm of women’s workout gear. In case you’ve forgotten, here are ten reminders from the weird, wonderful Tumblr page of Retrospace.
10. Stop staring at me!! Yeah, the “crotch in your face” angle is strange, but it’s the very weird eyes that go the extra mile in creeping you out.
9. This goes here, then over there, then through the loop… The instructions on how to put this thing on seem so complex it would hardly be worth the effort just to do curls with six-ounce weights.
8. Underarms are sexy Whether you’re a “cover girl” or “panther,” you seem highly frightened by your surroundings and a little too preoccupied with your underarms.
7. Who’s got the bigger bulge?
6. Jesus dude loves your leg warmers Why you would ear a corsage to work out, however, we’re not sure.
5. It’s not easy being green When you tumble into the arms of a man in a classic “meet cute” scenario, you want to be absolutely sure your eyeshade casts your face in a sickly green glow.
4. Above the belly button, please Did Cheryl Tiegs get a wedgie or did she take her pants-wearing tips from Florida retirees?
3. Is the belt really necessary?
2. Kind of Blue Again, we are glad to know that the belly button remains the guideline for how high to pull up your shorts. And your leggings.
1. Canasta night at the senior center Not really an exercise leotard, but hideous in its own right.
This article appears in Jun 2-8, 2011.
