A Little Couple? A Little Booooorring.

Oh my God, Miss Pop Rocks,
now you’re going to pick on little people? HAVE YOU NO SHAME,
WOMAN?

Truth is, I don’t. But hear me out. I am not picking on TLC’s latest reality stars
— Houston’s very own Jen Arnold and Bill Klein — because they
are small. I am picking on them because they are boring as hell
and there is no need for them to be on TV.

Bill’s a businessman, Jen’s
a doctor, and they live in Sugar Land with their dog. I know,
I know, it’s crazy, right? I mean, they have a dog!?!?!? The bottom line is they are just very average suburbanites making their
way through the world, and trips to the grocery store and cooking dinner
together is simply not as thrilling as TLC would want us to believe
it is — even if you are under four feet tall. It would be like
filming Mr. Pop Rocks and me as we ramble around our ranch house arguing
about whose turn it is to clean the kitty litter. The only difference
is we can store said kitty litter on top of the fridge.

Case in point. During
one episode, Jen had to ask Bill to help her decide what dress to wear
to Bill’s brother’s wedding. Then later, Jen got a migraine.
Wha???? OMG! I was literally on the edge of my seat as I
waited to see how it would all play out. Actually, I was on the
edge of my seat reaching for the remote control to change the channel
to C-SPAN, infinitely more thrilling than The Little Couple.

I get that Jen and Bill are
just trying to prove to the world that being shorter than average makes
them no different than you or me. They have succeeded! Their
show has clearly shown us all that they are just as everyday as anyone
else. I’m sure they’re lovely people, but am I the only one
who sees no need for a season two?