Conspiracy's Days Are Numbered: Aggies Are On The JFK Case

The world is full of conspiracy crackpots who believe JFK was not killed by Lee Harvey Oswald alone (or at all). The thing is, they usually aren’t college researchers.

But three faculty members of Texas A&M have been honored with the American Statistical Association’s 2008 Statistics in Chemistry Award (which will so get them laid) for chemical analysis of the bullets “reportedly derived from the same batch as those used by suspected Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald,” (manufactured by Winchester for the rather crappy Mannlicher-Carcano rifle) according to a university press release.

The study, “Chemical and Forensic Analysis of JFK Assassination Bullet Lots: Is a Second Shooter Possible?” used methods not available in 1963 to “determine” that “the bullet fragments involved in the assassination are not nearly as rare as previously reported.” The study maintains that the evidence used to determine that Oswald was the lone gunman was “fundamentally flawed.”

It’s quite a remarkable, historically significant study, and it adds even more information to what is likely the most documented murder in world history. The only other things the researchers have to show in their next study (“Chemical and Forensic Analysis of the Grassy Knoll”) is: if two assassins were going to use the same kind of rifle to kill a president, why would they choose a really cheap one?

— Craig Malisow