And now, HouStoned presents “Dead Letter Office,” our soon-to-be-ongoing series of letters inspired by Deathswitch.com, a local service that enables folks to send emails after they die.
From: “David Harris” [nobsdds@gmail.com]
To: “Clara Harris” [clara@hotmail.com]
Subject: The Mercedes
The brake is the one on the left.—————————————————–
From: “Morris Black” [friendlyneighbor@earthlink.net]
To: “Robert Durst” [richdudeinawig@yahoo.com]
Subject: My disposal
Next time, use Hefty “Cinch-Saks,” OK? They keep out the water. You’re rich — what’s this Fiesta-Brand shit?
————————————————————–
From: “Ken Lay” [aspenorbust@gmail.com]
To: “Linda Lay” [lalalalovelylinda@juststuff.com]
Subject: I’m dead
Hi, Linda. I’m dead. I repeat: I’m dead. This service is only for dead people, of which I am one. There is no question. Why would anyone even want to argue otherwise? Isn’t it about time we all moved on? I mean, I’m dead, and I’ve moved on. To Heaven. Yes, I’m in Heaven. And, regardless of what you’ve heard, it looks nothing like the Caymans. Well, gotta run. Being dead is tough work!
This batch of letters was unearthed by Craig Malisow.
This article appears in Jan 4-10, 2007.
