Well, last weekend was brutal. I went 6-10 for the NFL weekend. Which puts me at 13-19 for the season. Back when I was a kid, there was a guy named Jimmy the Greek. I’m sure some of you remember him. And I could swear that he missed nearly every pick he made every weekend. I’m not sure why CBS kept him on so long except that it was entertaining.
Let’s just hope I don’t get to Jimmy the Greek territory.
So, remember that these picks are based on the point spread from my office pool, which came down from my New York office on Wednesday afternoon.
1. The high-flying Colts are favored by 5 points over the home-team Texans. I’m sorry, I can’t buy the hype. I can’t understand why the Panthers stopped throwing the football last week, because Steve Smith was open the entire day. I can’t help but wonder what Peyton Manning’s going to do with the Texans defensive backs trying to cover Harrison, Wayne and Clark. Take the Colts and the points. I’m thinking double digits.
2. The Bears are favored by 3 points over the visiting Cowboys. Man, I hate having to pick the Cowboys. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. But I’m picking the Cowboys to win this game.
3. In what’s got to be one of the more boring games of the weekend, the home team Jets are picked to beat the Dolphins by 3 points. I don’t think there are any winners with this game, but I’m taking the Jets and the points.
4. And for some reason I can’t figure, the visiting Giants are favored by 4 points over the undefeated Redskins. I think the Giants are on the verge of becoming dead team walking. Take the Redskins.
5. The Chargers are picked by 4 points over the home team Packers. I keep thinking that Norv Turner’s going to turn LT lose. But Norv’s not the best of head coaches. I’m taking the Chargers, though.
6. In the Only Way Anyone’s Gonna Win This Game Is By Running The Ball Bowl at Arrowhead, the Chiefs are favored by 2 points over the Vikings. I don’t really want to pick anyone here, but I’ve got to, so I’m taking the Vikings because I don’t trust Herm Edwards to keep giving the ball to Larry Johnson.
7. The Eagles are favored by 7 points over the Lions. The people taking the Eagles must not know that God is Lions’ QB Jon Kitna’s co-pilot. And it’s going to be interesting to hear how the Eagle fans react to Donovan McNabb’s little HBO interview. Take the Lions.
8. The Bills are 16.5 point underdogs against the Patriots. The Patriots looked impressive last week. Maybe this whole spy thing is going to end up being bad for the NFL. I don’t think the Bills can win this game, but that point spread’s just too damn big. Take the Bills to get to within about 15 points – that’s enough to beat the spread.
9. The Niners travel to Pittsburgh to take on the Steelers who are favored by 9 points. The Niners haven’t looked impressive. The Steelers have. But both teams are 2-0, and I like Niners coach Mike Nolan. Take the Niners.
10. The Ravens are favored by 8 over visiting Arizona. The Ravens were very lucky against the Jets last week. And I like the attitude I see coming from Arizona. Take the Cards to beat the spread.
11. The surprising Bucs are favored by 3.5 over the disappointing Rams. I don’t think Jeff Garcia’s going to have a repeat of last week. And I think the Rams are ready to burst. Take the underdog Rams.
12. The Jags are visiting the Broncos, who are favored by 3.5 points. Once again, to piss off my Bronco-loving brother, I’m taking the Jags. And my fantasy team really needs for Jones-Drew to wake up.
13. The Seahawks are picked to beat the Bengals by 3.5. As the Bengals have shown this season, they can score. They just can’t stop the other team from scoring. But the Bengals don’t repeat what happened last week. Take the Bengals to beat the spread, and to possibly win.
14. The Browns try to repeat last week’s outburst and take out the 3 point favored Raiders. Take the Browns.
15. The Falcons are hosting the Panthers, and the Panthers are favored by 4. The Panthers should be kicked out of the NFL after last week’s debacle against the Texans. Luckily, the Falcons are awful. Take the Panthers.
16. Monday night brings us Reggie Bush versus Vince Young. The Saints are favored by 4.5 points. I picked the Saints to go to the Super Bowl. But the Titans have looked good so far this season, while the Saints have sucked. But the game’s in New Orleans, and I’m taking the Saints.
I’ve got to have a good week some time.
Right? — John Royal
This article appears in Sep 20-26, 2007.
