This continues to be the Winter of Charlie Sheen’s Discontent. The Two
and a Half Men star followed up a Christmas Day
arrest on domestic violence charges with the announcement that he has finally
checked into rehab:
In a surprise development Tuesday that casts doubt on the
rest of its season, television’s top-rated sitcom, “Two and a Half Men,”
halted production after its star Charlie Sheen announced he was checking
into a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic.“We wish him nothing but the best as he deals with this personal matter,”
said a statement attributed to CBS, Warner Bros. and executive producer
Chuck Lorre, who, according to sources familiar with the situation, were
caught off-guard by the actor’s move. Studio and network officials would not
address the issue further on the record.Sheen did not show up for work on Monday and his bail — which requires that
he not consume drugs or alcohol — could be revoked in Colorado, where he is
awaiting trial on domestic-violence charges. The actor’s spokesman, Stan
Rosenfield, described his client’s decision to enter rehab as a
“preventative measure” and added he would “take some time off” from the
series.
Sheen will be in rehab for two weeks, because a fortnight is more than an
adequate period of time to address substance abuse problems stretching back
20 years. Who knew Ferris Bueller’s Day Off would be so prophetic?
I’ll admit to a certain amount of schadenfreude at this news. Not
because I’m particularly happy that Sheen, who showed such promise in
Platoon and Wall Street, continues his downward spiral,
but because it may finally herald an end to Two and a Half Men, the
show that’s done more to destroy American comedy than Dane Cook and Jeff Dunham combined.
This isn’t Sheen’s first trip to Trembling Hills (he did a stretch in 1998
after a cocaine overdose), but this particular trip has one unique aspect:
it coincides with current wife Brooke Mueller’s own stint. And while sources
differ on whether she’s in for her
own drug problems or because of the
psychological effects of Sheen’s abuse, one thing is certain: this is
clearly the best thing for their kids.
Imagine how much better Sheen’s twins Bob and Max, who turn one next month,
will have it compared to the actor’s other three kids. Sure, the older
children had to endure dad’s involvement in the Heidi
Fleiss scandal, his affection for porn stars, and the acrimonious
divorce from second wife Denise Richards (and the two children of that union
had the additional “honor” of being trotted out for display on mom’s tortuous
reality show), but they also knew periods of semi-normalcy. Those
relatively idyllic times made the weird shit that much more difficult to
deal with, and will probably lead to long-lasting psychological effects.
The new kids, on the other hand, will likely never experience such problems.
They’ll never be unlucky enough to know a time when their parents, and
especially dad, aren’t in the process of fucking up. How refreshing it must
be to have that kind of consistency in their lives. I mean, most of us —
those of us without celebrity parents, I mean — have to wait years before discovering our parents are irresponsible flakes who shouldn’t own a
pet iguana, much less raise children. Sheen’s kids will never know that
disappointment, because they’ve known what a shmuck their father is almost
from Day One.
If nothing else, it’s going to make for a great reality show in about twelve
years.
This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 3, 2010.
