As we mentioned
previously, the Academy Awards are this weekend. 2010 marks the
first time the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has upped
the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten. This is
presumably to drum up interest in what has become a bloated and
insufferable production, though it’s hard to believe the added movies
won’t swell the running time past the usual 3.5 hour mark.
Doubling the number of nominees was also designed to remove some of
the controversy around the Academy’s picks. Trouble is, when you’ve
got the same yahoos involved in the nomination process, you’re not
going to end up with a paradigm shift in the organization’s thinking,
you’re just going to end up with the double the number of dumb picks.
Could I do better? Hell yes, and here’s my list of five current
nominees and their more worth replacements:
5. Nominee: The Blind Side
Better Nominee: 35 Shots of Rum
How about instead of another variation of “white person helps black
person” (with the unspoken “because we know they can’t help
themselves” thrown in) we just show an actual black family? One that
acts like human beings and not a walking series of one-liners, in a
film that realistically portrays their life without the need for a
happy ending? Wouldn’t that be crazy?
4. Nominee: Up in the Air
Better Nominee: Star Trek
Now, I did enjoy Up in the Air, but the whole thing felt
insubstantial, hardly deserving of the gravitas of a Best
Picture award. So why half-ass it? Star Trek was the most
enjoyable popcorn movie of the year, and nary a word about downsizing.
3. Nominee: An Education
Better Nominee: In the Loop
Carey Mulligan’s excellent — and deservedly nominated — performance
notwithstanding, An Education was little more than a
better-produced-than-most coming of age story, with extra emphasis on
the statutory rape. In the Loop, on the other hand, was
refreshingly caustic and intelligent…welcome change from the usual
Oscar fare.
2. Nominee: A Serious Man
Better Nominee: Anvil: The Story of Anvil
Nothing against the Coen brothers, but A Serious Man isn’t
going to be remembered in the same league as Fargo or
Miller’s Crossing. And since there’s no rule (that I’m aware
of) against documentaries winning, why not Anvil, an
uplifting and poignant film that — unlike most 2009 docs — didn’t
try to guilt us or scare the shit out of us?
1. Nominee: Avatar
Better Nominee: Moon
James Cameron’s magnum opus was a safe pick, considering the
staggering amount of publicity and surprisingly positive critical
reception. But while visually groundbreaking, the plot is a pastiche
of over a dozen other films.
And then there’s Moon, a smart, introspective science fiction
film that doesn’t need 3-D or massive battle set pieces to be
effective. Yes, it’s also reminiscent of other movies (2001: A
Space Odyssey and Silent Running chief among them), but
escapes those comparisons and ends up a thoughtful commentary on the
future of technology and what it really means to be alive.
This article appears in Mar 4-10, 2010.
